Belly Achin….

What can I say about last night. Let’s try to find the right adjective - hmmmm….. DISMAL. Yes, that about sums it up. I enjoyed dancing closely with an 43 year old annebriated cutie with a hard, tight body- it was fun but pointless. I saw too many familiar faces and decided that this was my last foray into this venue. HKPB was there and not getting any play from the ladies. It was funny because he kept looking over at me and I did not make eye contact with him once. I’m glad I felt good about the way I looked and actually that 43 year old loser was the cutest boy in the room. So hurrah for feeling chemistry and getting turned on by a complete stranger. We left at midnight and went to IHOP to eat breakfast. I ate a good steak omelette with a 1/2 triangle of wheat toast. We talked about past loves and current situations. It was good and then I came home, wiped off the war paint and went to bed.

Woke up this morning with a belly ache and chased it with an egg white omelette with 2 98% fat free hotdogs and some guacamole. Now my belly ache has worsened. I’d kill for some greek yogurt. I had some figs already and Paul Newman’s Soy chips which are undoubtedly the best I’ve ever tasted….

I’ve got the blues and at 1:50 pm want to just crawl back under the covers and start this day over again? I’m glad to be goin on a good hike tomorrow to get my mind off of things and back on the right track. I’m too lazy to go anywhere to get anything to eat - I’d want to eat a greek yogurt (fat free) today with some blueberries. That would be ideal. I’m also questioning my diet right now too. I’ve been laying in bed reading You On A Diet…

I miss fruit. I miss yogurt. I miss real oatmeal. I hate being overweight. I hate being on a super restrictive diet. I hate looking at my body and noticing my big belly despite the 30 pound weight loss. I hate that I can’t appreciate my success so far and just get angry that I’m not MORE successful. I’m not in a good place today. I don’t want to reduce it to not having a fruitful night last night because honestly, I had fun. I guess I’m also bummed that I’m not getting anywhere in the relationship process even though I’ve just only started. I’m not being very reasonable right now and my hands are sticky with broken web shards….

I think a nap sounds good right now. :)

Here’s to a better day tomorrow.
There’s always tomorrow….

Posted by anngirl on September 15th, 2007 under General

2 Responses to “Belly Achin….”

  1. marina Says:
    September 15th, 2007 at 9:14 pm

    I feel how you do alot! Its so hard to be proud of what you have done when you still have a way to go and its tempting to give in and binge but you seem strong and very determined so im sure its just a bad patch.

    30 pounds is a very visible amount of weight to loose, are there any pics of yourself before you lost it? look at them and compare them with ones of how you are now, look at the clothes you wore when you were carrying the extra 30. Hopefully once you *see* the difference and have proof of how far you have already come hopefully you will feel better.

    Maybe you just need a lil pick me up, whatever you do that makes you feel better thats not food, some new clothes, makeup etc.

    Oh well sorry for the rambling! Hope you have a good weekend and feel better about things :)

  2. baileysmomma Says:
    September 16th, 2007 at 12:17 am

    Chin up!! Yes, there is always tomorrow, and tomorrow will be better. You will hike, feel amazing, and be right back to your old self. What diet are you on? If you hate it, why not try something else?

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