Well, it’s been a very bad week.  I’m feeling pretty down again and have been eating like a morbidly obese hippopotamus for, like, ten days.  My belt is getting tighter and I was down to the last hole and ready to trade the entire thing in for a new one.  The only thing good is that I’ve been exercising a lot, too- not, by a long shot, enough to mitigate the candy and fries-eating madness, but enough to offset it a little bit.  My stomach, which is usually the first thing to deflate when I lose weight and has been no exception this time, is incredibly bloated and full.  I need to flea bomb my house.  I’m moving in two months.  My sister’s relationship depresses me and my own bores me (except the sex part is still fun).  My business is slow and I’m broker than a joke.  The dogs are on my last nerve.  I steam cleaned the house and then it was promptly ruined by the animals.  I have been keeping a walking diary though, got myself a pedometer and everything, so I can keep track of mileage, even when I’m being a lazy blogger.  56 miles (walking and biking) since I last wrote- I think I can make my goal of 1000 miles by the end of the year.  Every workout has been like pulling teeth lately, probably because it feels like my stomach is full of rocks all the time.  Today, I ate teriyaki chicken and tonkatsu, and TWO cans of beef ravioli (low fat, but still 800 calories total!  Also, being a fairly excellent cook- particularly of Italian food- I know it’s a bad week if I can’t even boil water and make a simple sauce), and drank about two gallons of water and today was one of the better days this week.  I feel disgusting.  I have to have a good day tomorrow.  My house is stocked with healthy foods- freshly pulled carrots and radishes, heirloom tomatoes, roasted tofu, seaweed salad, a wealth of asian pears and nectarines, low fat chicken sausages.  I staged a raid on the co-op during Noah’s volunteer shift Thursday and took advantage of his 40% discount, also last weekend I picked my mothers garden clean (pears, tomatoes, basil, etc.).  There is no reason for me to be anxiety-eating like I have been;  I put in my notice on my apartment here, to be out by November first, to leave Olympia and move home to Seattle- gee, I wonder if I could be at all concerned about that?  I’m also feeling a little overwhelmed by the amount of work I have to do both for school and for our upcoming merchant processing site for work.  A lot of things are up in the air.  I want to be falling back on my healthy exercise routine and diet plan- a constant during chaos, you know, but I haven’t been able to rally myself out of this funk.  Earlier this week, I went to the movies with Noah (District 9- seriously, I feel like that movie was made specifically for me, so much did it appeal to my every sensibility.  Loved it!) and ended up getting some gross-ish licorice from the grocery store.  I had like almost a pound of the stuff and it was not really that good.  Usually, I would either throw it away or just let it sit in the cupboard for months until my sister discovered it during her next visit and gobbled it up.  But no; later in the night, I ate piece after piece of the awful stuff as I watched old episodes of Lost.  I’ve got to snap out of it.  This was a major backsliding week and I cannot have another one if I want to continue my progress to my next goal (my birthday\movie screening).  It’s getting a little bit down to the wire and I still have another 70 pounds to go, god help me.  Also, I hate feeling like shit- I like the way my body feels when it’s mostly free of processed garbage like what I’ve been eating all week (strawberry licorice wheels and canned ravioli-WTF, people, seriously) and it’s not as if I don’t have all that at my fingertips.  Tomorrow, I’m going to wake up at a reasonable hour (also, I’ve been sleeping late, another indicator of capital-D depression), do my dog walking and my workout, then have healthy meals, all day, watch not a one minute of television (though, fellow fans, how good has True Blood been lately?  Amazing, yeah?  Mmm, Sam Tramell. . . ), finish my book and work on my school projects.  Then, tomorrow night, the casino!  I’m pretty broke but I’m going to spend the voucher they sent me this month on some mindless recreation, I think, to get back into a more pleasant mindframe.  That’s the plan.

Breakfast: 1 can low fat beef ravioli

Lunch: chicken teriyaki and tonkatsu, 1 cup rice, small green salad

Dinner: can o’ beef ravioli (god, what is WRONG with me?)

Exercise: 2 miles with the dogs, 30 minutes stationary bike (8.5 miles), 30 day shred

1000 miles in 2009: 619 (added weekly tally plus todays)

Song of the Day: Do Re MI, Ani DiFranco covering Woody Guthrie

Daily awesome:  Well, this is nerdy web designer stuff, but Smashing Magazine often has extremely useful design articles and blog posts, as well as nut-and-bolts practical stuff very useful to those of us in the oft-boring web field.