I have finally returned from Yakima (definition: a horrible ‘city’ 4 hours east of where I live, where every member of my immediate family now lives) and am recouping with a couple episodes of 30 Rock, six chapters of the book I’m reading (just for fun!! hah, suck it, school!), a bigass bottle of club soda and some dried mango.  I actually consider my visit to be an almost complete success: I saw all the family members I owed a visit to, helped out at the Seasons, threw my dad an early Father’s Day dinner, exercised 4 out of the 5 days I was gone, had NOT A ONE bad food episode (excepting a cup of frozen yogurt or two) and managed to get at least 5 hours of sleep every night I was there (which is quite a bit, considering I’m usually too anxious at my parents house to get more then 2 hours of uninterrupted sleep).  The hike with my sister was beautiful and a veritable paradise for my dogs, who have been sleeping for nearly 30 hours.  Every day, they swam in the lake my parents live on, ran around in the gigantic adjacent field, and generally had a blast.  My sister is looking extremely pregnant and her and Sandro seem to be in a fairly pleasant holding pattern, though the whole thing is a complete nightmare.  

I’m feeling pretty great right now; I’m back to having diet momentum!  Also, when I got home today, I called David, who I was seeing casually a couple months back.  We never actually did the deed, but we fooled around a whole lot.  He was pretty square and boring, but a nice guy, with a good job and a quality sense of humor.  Hot, too.  Anyhoo, I have been struggling with the sex thing for this entire year, since Jason moved away.  It’s been almost a year since I actually had sex with someone and I think I’ve been making too big a deal of it, wanting it all to be exactly as I plan it and with some wonderful, perfect, hilarious and weird guy that materialized out of nowhere, with no body anxieties or obsessive attachment on my part.  But, I’m over that now- when you stop getting laid for awhile, you forget how important it is.  In any case, my point is that I’m going to go for it with David.  I know he cares about me and we pass time together pretty easily.  I don’t want anything serious, but I’m freaking lonely.  I need some physical contact.  This has been the longest dry spell ever in my adult life.  I keep thinking that if I start having casual sex with someone, I’ll get all crazy like I used to when I was drinking.  Up until now, the risk has felt too scary to take, but it’s spring, I’m spending about 2 hours a day sexually fantasizing about my True Blood crush (ah, Sam), it’s been nearly a year since I knocked boots with anyone and I’m getting back in better shape.  It’s time; I’m going for it.  David’s into it, so we made dinner plans for Monday night and we’ll see what happens after that.  Noah’s promised me he’ll keep an eye on the situation; if I start getting overly attached to the whole thing, he’ll give me the heads up.  I’m a big compartmentalizer when it comes to my sex life, anyways, so I think it’ll come in handy for a sex-friendship.  I’m going for it; I’m sick of holding myself back from things that I want because of who I used to be (a crazy bar whore and someone who slept with the same complete douchebag for three years when I first moved to Olympia, even though I never liked his personality).  I’m a grown woman, I’m in control of myself, I can take control of my own physical needs as well.  I’m sick of living within my comfort zone.  

Also, I’m super excited to really kill it this summer.  I’m getting skinnier, I can tell.  It all seems like a drop in the bucket still, but it’s getting more and more obvious each day that I’m getting back in shape.  I’m sick of dragging my own fat ass around and it feels good to be back to doing something about it.  

Breakfast: no

Lunch: sushi restaurant, Chirashi don buri- sashimi over rice with raw veggies, miso soup, 2\3 sushi roll with avocado, tempura shrimp, crab

Dinner: 6 slices dried mango, 1 sandwich with 2 slices olive bread, sliced chicken breast, 2 slices swiss cheese, 2 servings tortilla chips with chipotle salsa

Snack: 10 wheat thins, about 2 ounces brie (shit!)

Exercise: not today

1000 miles in 2009: 508.5

Song of the Day: It Hurt So Bad, by Susan Tedeschi

Daily awesome: Stop motion video, yay!

I’m still in yakima, been busy with family stuff.  I’ve actually managed to eat responsibly, exercise and not go completely berserk.  It’s a very weird thing to arrive and check out the whole family scene and realize that I am possibly the least unhappy member of the group.  Things are pretty rough for everyone over here lately; when i come here, I lose momentum and focus, because there’s just so much mayhem.  I’m going for a hike with my sister today, doing laundry, trying to get my shit together.  I’ll probably write later, to actually write up my food\exercise details.  I need to start keeping better track of my mileage if I’m going to make it to 1000 by years end. 

Yeesh, I am in Yakima for the weekend and it is hotter than hells very fire over here!  They were doing a ‘Yakima’s Got Talent’ Show Friday night, so that was a blast of instant mayhem, as soon as I arrived at The Seasons, the performance venue my family owns.  Today was much more relaxed, hung out with Ellie all day, went for a walk this morning with Mom, went to the movies, scrabble, the usual.  I’ve been doing a whole lot of thinking the past couple of days about what I want my life to be in the next few years.  I’m trying to weigh my options.  I know that one of my top priorities is to get all my body bullshit back on track.  I’ve been feeling pretty motivated since my bad spell.  I need to write this all out, everything I’m thinking about, but it’s hard for me to focus on anything like that while I’m with the fam.  

Anyhoo, pretty good day all around.  

Breakfast: nope

Lunch: wrap with a wheat tortilla, light cream cheese, 2 slices turkey breast

Dinner: out at Ozeki, had pork donburi: bowl of rice with lots of veggies and strips of cooked pork on top, with an egg

Snack: I just had a single serving bag of Sun Chips, and I ate a bunch of cooked broccoli with tahini when I got home an hour ago

Exercise: 2 miles with the dogs, 30 day shred

1000 miles in 2009: 493 (I missed some miles the past few days, so am adding them now)

Song of the Day: Bixby Canyon Bridge, by Death Cab For Cutie

Daily awesome: Article about how we interpret the term ‘domestic terrorism’, specifically as it pertains to the murder of Dr. Tiller.  Crazy thing, really- doesn’t matter which side you fall onto in terms of the abortion thing, it’s an interesting point.

Another nice day today- I’m worried we’re going to spend our limited Northwest allowance of gorgeous weather in June, then be left with a grey summer.  Noah and I worked, pretty standard day, glad to have him home.  Since there are apparently no men in town who I’m even passably interested in, at least my gay boyfriend is a reliable, platonic good time.  We watched some True Blood (much more fun to watch with a buddy and someone who can understand my brand new, horribly lascivious crush on Sam Trammell-hairy forearms drive me wild, heyo!)  ate some fish tacos.  Tonight, I am incredibly hungry and cannot figure out why, as I ate a TON of food today.  Just having a day where I feel like a bottomless pit, I guess.  I’m trying to figure out a cohesive list of health and lifestyle goals for the summer, because I’m feeling a little drifty.  I need to get on a good vitamin regimen, enact a more stringent workout routine, clear my house of all the clutter I can stand to part with, and figure out some creative goals to accomplish before my birthday.  

Breakfast: 2 eggs with 1 slice swiss cheese, sliced chicken

Lunch: had a horrific false start where I made these elaborate salads for Noah and I with seared yellowfin tuna, bean sprouts, cabbage, homemade sesame vinaigrette, then it turned out that the tuna just didn’t taste right.  I know from a tuna steak and these were off enough to have made us sick if we’d eaten them.  So then we went to subway and I ate an ENTIRE chicken breast sub, with cheese, dijon mustard, lettuce, spinach, lots of tomatoes, olives and pickles.

Dinner: made delicious fish tacos. 2 small flour tortillas, with about 6 oz baked tilapia with chili and lemon, 1\4 cup black beans, lots of pico de gallo, salsa, cabbage, 2 tablespoons light sour cream, 5 slices pineapple

Exercise: 30 day shred, 2 miles with dogs

1000 miles in 2009: 477.5

Song of the Day: Electro-Socket Blues, by Rogue Wave

Daily awesome: Stephen Colbert’s Craziest Fucking Thing I’ve Ever Heard.  One of many, many gems from this handsome, hilarious genious.  Another daily awesome from Hulu, I know, but I’m feeling lazy the past couple days. . .

I was still feeling a bit yucky and weak today, but I managed to basically clean house and go grocery shopping.  It was muggy today, which I hate, and my house was frigging boiling.  I’ve been watching True Blood, because it just came out on dvd, while I cleaned the house- I’m a big fan.  I don’t like all that Twilight nonsense- vampires aren’t supposed to be abstinence\anti-feminist metaphors or any bullshit like that, they’re not supposed to be completely insipid either.  They’re supposed to be violent and horny and this show pretty much nails that whole deal: everyone on the show is dead sexy, always sweating, speaking with a southern accent and is constantly either narrowly escaping death, actually being murdered, fucking, using drugs or biting Anna Paquin’s bare boobs.  It’s super crazy and all horned-up, Alan Ball-style, but much more awesome than I thought it was going to be.  Noah and I are back to work tomorrow; he flew in tonight and we have to work three solid days before I leave for Yakima for the weekend.  God, it’s just the worst being fat in the summer; I really would like to wear less clothes and be more comfortable, but rolled-up jeans and a tank-top are as minimal as I can feel okay with.  No shorts, skirts or dresses.  That will hopefully change by the end of the summer.  I have a fabulous dress that I’ll fit into in about another 20 pounds- it’s very retro an fabulous, with pastel sailboats and decorative buttons in the back, pleats, all kinds of crazy shit. It perfectly matches my favorite fun shoes (turquoise suede heels, with a gold cutout window on the side and a peep toe). I love this dress and I swear, I’m going to wear it before the end of the summer.

Breakfast: 1 cup plain yogurt

Lunch: stir-fried tofu with broccoli, teriyaki and soy sauce, bean sprouts

Dinner: 2 cups coleslaw with vinegar, 1 piece baked tilapia with chili sauce

Exercise: 30 minutes stationary bike (8.5 miles)

1000 miles in 2009: 475.5

Song of the day: Virginia Reel Around the Fountain, the live Built To Spil version

Daily awesome: Oh yes, they did put Intervention up on Hulu.  Most addictive show ever, so to speak.  They don’t yet have the most upsetting one of all: Naked, Crazy Cristy and her meth teeth and sister-beatings.  Hopefully, they’ll put it up soon.  Even a real hard-ass would be scandalized by some of the stuff on that crazy show.  

Well, I guess I’m not immediately back to regular posting.  I took it reeeeeeeaaaaalll easy this weekend, after completing my last class ever.  Saw a couple of movies, relaxed, worked out a fair bit, saw friends.  Now I’m lying in bed, totally miserable, because I’ve been puking for the past two hours.  I have no idea what I could have eaten that is making me ferociously, vigorously vomitty but it definitely did not agree with me.  I’ve been stomach-fluish much more than usual this year- I never used to get puking sick, but there’s been some gross bugs floating around this season, I guess.  Anyhow, hopefully I’ll be ship shape tomorrow, but for tonight, yuck.

I had my last class on campus ever tonight.  I’m back to regular posting tomorrow but I’m too tired tonight.  I got everything done but it came right down to the wire.  No exercise the past couple of days but nervous energy alone should have burned off at least a couple kilos of cellulite:)  I just have to do my contract over the summer and I am officially done.  Great god almighty, I am free at last!!

And I will be done with the quarter!!  Today was good; Noah got home, we worked, had lunch, rehashed our weekends and I went to class, where my writing workshop was a success (as much as possible, anyhow).  I’m just so frigging excited to finally be done with my seemingly endless college career.  I have summer quarter to finish out my las 6 credits, but that’s on independent contract, so I’ll be working solo (just the way I like it), with Rebecca (my faculty advisor for all my contract work this past year).  And then, I will finally have slain this beast of burden.  I don’t even care so much about the actual degree, I’m not walking in the ceremony next week (though my parents and academic advisor are both pushing me to) or sending out graduation announcements or any of that crap.  But this is something that’s been weighing me down for literally YEARS now and it’s one of my final steps in establishing myself as the person I truly want to be.  The other large piece of that puzzle is losing this weight, but I’m feeling encouraged, after my bad week.  This week has been going well and I feel like I’m gathering momentum again.  Whew!

Breakfast: no

Lunch: teriyaki chicken, salad, miso soup at the Japanese restaurant (but small portions of all)

Dinner: class potluck, 1\2 cup pasta salad, 1 piece frybread, 1\2 cup roasted root vegetables, 4 apple slices

Exercise: 30 day shred, 3 miles with the dogs

1000 miles in 2009: 467 (forgot to include crazy stationary bike yesterday, but tacked it on today. . . no bike today, still have the calloused-ass feeling)

Daily awesome:  A topic of heated debate around the office (and by that I mean my converted spare bedroom and it also refers to me and Noah- ah, working from home) has been about the upcoming release of Bruno, the Sasha Baron Cohen movie.  We’ve been wondering: promoting homophobic stereotypes?  Subverting them?  Awesome or not awesome?  We just won’t know until we see the damn thing.  Weird to have two Gawker items in a row (I don’t read it every day, or even every week, I swear), but here is Richard Lawson’s analysis of this same issue: Is Bruno good for the gays?  I do have to say that I totally agree with most of this article, especially the part where he takes Adam Lambert to the mat for not publicly coming out.   I mean, it’s that kind of attitude (a clearly gay, out-n-proud-in-his-regular-life guy staying in the closet for the media) that makes people think the whole Prop 8 fiasco in California is anything other than a straight up civil rights violation.  I mean, honestly.  

Well, I did not get my homework done today.  Only a couple more days of this, then I’m done.  I am extremely fatigued.

Breakfast: no

Lunch: sandwich with wheat bread, sliced chicken, sprouts, mustard

Dinner: burrito with beans, light cheese, sliced chicken, tomatoes, onions

Exercise: 1 hr. 20 minutes on the stationary bike (21 miles)  This was a real chore; I’m resting the ankle today and also I think I want to do this insane bike ride to Montana in early September, so I need to start training now.  But boy, do I have a sore fanny!!

Song of the Day: Not a Crime, by Gogol Bordello

Daily awesome: Autotune the News, y’all!!  Beginning of the video is amazing, but it kinda falls apart at the end.