I spent a very nice evening with the somewhat-bouncing-back Nancy- she’s going to the doctor next week about her horrible post partum, and seemed to more strongly resemble her spunky old self.  We had a Sex and The City marathon, had dinner, she took a bubble bath while I spent time with little Max.  It was a good night- I’ve felt like since Nancy got pregnant, it’s been sort of like she got a partial lobotomy, she hasn’t really been too interested in anything other than babies, marriage-related topics or similar in a long time.  But she’s starting to seem more interested in the outside world now and that is a very hopeful sign (at least for me).  She also seems like she’s getting more confident in terms of taking the baby out and about.

I have the blues again today; I’m listening to a lot of Velvet Underground, moping around, resisting the urge to call John to get some kind of testosterone fix.  I want to meet someone really wonderful and it’s just not freaking happening and if it did, I’m in no shape to perform the kind of sexual acrobatics I’d like to so that’s out of the question anyway. I just feel lonely for a man in my life.  I also need some new friends.  I have a very full social life, but I need to spice things up a bit with some new, interesting people.  There’s a girl in my class that I’m kinda becoming friends with who seems promising- funny, smart and interesting.  I need to meet more people that have common interests with me- a lot of my friends are in baby or boyfriend land (including my sister) and I need to meet some people who are more into going to interesting events, seeing music, into art or writing or activism.  I feel like I’m doing a lot of stuff lately that falls under the category more of ‘being supportive’ to my friends than in the ‘actually fun and interesting’ column, and I need a better balance of both.  All my close friends (except Noah) are people I met working in the restaurant, and not a one of them (Nancy, who is my closest girlfriend in Olympia, included) has made it to one of my film screenings, the secret cafe we threw, the activist panel sponsored by the city (which Noah and I were on) or any other event pertaining to my life.  The sole exception is Kathy.  They are amazing friends, but I feel like I put a lot more into the relationships than I get back, and I want to expand my group of friends to include more people who share my interests, or at least can muster the wherewithal to show up for me and pretend like they do.  The problem really lies here: my three BEST girlfriends (Lynn, whom I’ve been best friends with since the age of six; Rachel, since age 13, and Holly, who was my sisters best friend and later my roommate and sanity preserver here in Olympia, up until September this year) live out of town, so I’m already at ladyfriend disadvantage and it’s a small town.  Oh well, I’ve never had a problem making friends and I think I just need to cultivate a few of the many acquaintances who I’ve known from around school and town.  I have a lot of peripheral friends who I enjoy a night out with and could potentially be better friends with, if I could put in the effort.  I haven’t really had the time to do that lately, but I think it’s probably time to make time.  Ugh, I’m just complainey today; feeling dissatisfied with my love life makes me dissatisfied with EVERYTHING!  But, a good day.  

Breakfast: mango, 1 cup yogurt

Lunch: sammy with 2 laughing cow cheeses, spinach, 3 slices turkey bacon

Dinner: salad with mixed greens, tomato, cucumber, carrots, feta, 1 chicken breast, non-fat balsamic vinaigrette (pretty good, Healthy Choice)

Exercise: no

1000 miles in 2009: 269

Challenge!

Water: 96 oz

Exercise minutes: 335\290

Clean Eating Days: 5\6

Song of the Day: Changed The Locks, by Lucinda Williams

Daily awesome: The All New Slump Busters Challenge Home Blog Page.  Check it out for next weeks challenge, y’all!!!