So, this was my first REALLY bad food day in awhile; it started just fine and progressed into something of a fiasco, by the end.  I’m still at the parental home, I did the interview with my grandmother (who is now less mentally sound then she was even one month ago and also incontinent enough to have had to change and wash her pants twice today- it’s heartbreaking and I wish I lived in this area to help her and my mom), but I was inside the house ALL day, with a brief-dog walk exception.  For starters, I slept until 11 am, woke up, walked the dogs, cleaned up the house, interviewed grandma, made dinner with my mother, played about 4 games of scrabble.  Many other things happened, but we didn’t even end up going to the show at the Seasons tonight (Eliane Elias- I would have loved it, being a big bossa nova fan, but my preggers sister was far too ill to go).  I ate like a pig, did not exercise and felt like shit all day.  Just goes to show, I suppose.

Well, I’m going to get back on track tomorrow, not going to be derailed.  This is a little glitch and there are bound to be more throughout the course of this (hopefully final) diet and lifestyle change.  I need to get back to my home environment, so I can regain my sense of control.  I can hardly bear to look in the mirror around here, because when I’m with my family, I just feel so ugly- read into this what you may, it’s just the way things are.  I don’t normally dwell on that when I’m at home- I get ready, preen in the mirror, check out how my jeans fit like a normal girl, but here I sometimes just feel like a lost cause.  Three days with ample family time is enough; I really do feel thankful to be an adult. . . I’m going home tomorrow, Noah gets home on Monday, it’s going to be a great week for diet and exercise.  Positive, positive, positive.

Breakfast: 1 slice grain bread with tuna

Lunch: crackers with tuna, slice swiss cheese, orange, handful craisins, handful cashews

Dinner:  oh lord, huge dinner.  2 1\2 slices marinated flank steak, 1 cup rice, 4 spears asparagus, lots of spinach salad with hard boiled egg, chives, feta, balsamic vinaigrette, 1 cup light mint chocolate chip ice cream (I did manage to pass on the cream-cheese frosted cupcakes)

Snack after dinner (bad kitty!!!): 2 large handfuls cashews (I cannot believe I just kept eating and eating one of the most calorie-dense foods I can think of), 1 handful craisins.  I don’t even want to consider how many calories and how much fat I took in tonight- it was the damn cashews.  Subtract those motherfuckers and I could have been okay with the ice cream.  Ugh.  Clean slate tomorrow, a long drive home, Nancy’s baby shower and the Oscars. . . I LOVE an award show (don’t judge me), I’ll be watching my favorite one at my friend Kathy’s house, doing laundry and generally relaxing.  I can’t wait.

exercise: nope

Song of the Day: “Carry The Zero” by Built to Spill

Daily awesome: My mother mended a favorite sweater of mine today that I believed was beyond repair; it’s flaming red, breasty and fabulous, I love the thing but haven’t been able to wear it for awhile.  Looking forward to doing so tomorrow; thanks mom!