Angel Food (lowfat)

Oops. I let a few days go by without blogging on 3fc. So, here’s my update…

My “weight watching” didn’t go so well last week. Let’s just say that I watched my weight go up a couple pounds, and I watched my weekly points count go off the charts. I succumbed to a lot of boredom eating. I didn’t cook as much as I usually do and wound up trying to rely on salads and baked potatoes to fill the hollow spot in my tummy. As usual, when I eat smallish meals (and especially when I combine smallish meals with boredom), my snacking gets out of control. Lots of small meals do it for some folks, but they’re not for me at all. I need to feel satisfied by the food I eat.

So, this week I’m trying to think carefully before I eat, asking myself, “How hungry am I really? Can I wait until the next meal?” and “What can I cook for dinner?” I’m a foodie at heart, so when I go days eating nothing but Lean Cuisines and bagged salad I almost feel like I’m letting myself down. I’d rather save my points (er, calories for you non Weight Watchers folks) for really tasty, satisying dishes. This week, I made a simple fruit salad of diced mango, shallots, cilantro, salt, and lime juice that has kept my mouth very entertained at dinner. Seriously, this salad kicks the pants off of any fruit salad you can buy pre-made at the grocery store. I’ve been eating it almost as a chutney or salsa accompaniment to an eggplant curry from a recent issue of Cooking Light. The curry itself needs something (ginger, maybe); I love eggplant and I love curry, though, so I hope to tweak the recipe until it really zings.

Can you tell I’m dreaming of cooking when I really should be working on a grant proposal (my real job)? This is my Thursday post-Top Chef hangover, as it were, when I dream of perfectly braised meats, silky pastry cream, and making Tom Colicchio’s eyes crinkle in delight over a perfect meal. Sigh. Back to work. Hope everyone’s having a terrific week!

 So, 14 years after graduating from high school, I finally finished up college last Thursday. It’s still sinking in that I don’t have to study my way through my weeknights anymore.  I’ve not quite figured out what to do with myself. I have a wedding to plan, although we can’t set a date yet. I’m definitely in limbo, just waiting, waiting, waiting for the military to tell my DF what his pilot training schedule will be for the next year. But, I’m determined not to get too frustrated by this whole limbo thing. After all, I graduate in just a few days with a 4.0 GPA. Not too shabby for a former college dropout!

Also, the week back on Weight Watchers went really well for me. I lost 4.2 lbs! Now, I know that’s generally too rapid a loss, but there’s always an adjustment period the first week back on points. Perhaps more important than the number on the scale, my DF and I had a real breakthrough with our eating habits when I visited him this past weekend. He actually didn’t protest too loudly when I refused to go to Waffle House for breakfast. (Funny, I still ate a waffle for breakfast - although it was half a belgian waffle with no whipped cream or butter.) For dinner, we took advantage of his living so near the water and got shrimp and flounder from an amazing fish market (the boats unload their catch directly behind the counter). I’ve never had such fresh seafood in my life! Silly to say, maybe, but it was a real step forward for us not to dine out at every meal and make healthy choices at home.

This week, I’ve no big plans to go to Pensacola, so staying on points should go just as well as, if not better than, last week. Now, I’ve no expectations for another four lbs gone, but two sure would be nice.

My perspective on life has been quite different lately, and somehow losing weight has been easier. Because of the events of the past few weeks, I’ve become a kinder person - to others and to myself. Since this is supposed to be a weight loss blog, I’ll write a bit about the kindness to me. I’ve tried to embrace behaviors and actions that give me more energy. That means turning out the tv or putting away my reading (or blogging) earlier than usual so I can settle into sleep easier. I’ve been a breakfast eating fool, too; I dug out Round’s recipe for muesli from a while back  (wish I could find that post of hers to link here). I’ve made a few substitutions using what I have on hand (e.g. pepitas/pumpkin seeds instead of almonds), and I eat a nice, filling portion of it with yogurt to start my day.

Probably the biggest change is that I’m trying to make good choices about what I eat, “noticing” rather than “focusing on” how I feel while dining. I’m thinking about my satiety level while I’m eating, instead of regretting the “I’m stuffed” feeling laer. Also, I’m not letting myself get bored in life. I’m keeping myself focused on the work in front of me, instead of stressing about what’s left to be done. While relaxing, I’m experience things that I really enjoy rather than watching any old TV show and putting random snacks in my mouth. Eating larger meals and then keeping boredom at bay have cut way down on my snacking these past few weeks. I’ve also embraced the reality I can get by on far, far smaller amounts of food than was the norm for me. Now, when I feel hungry between meals I drink a glass of milk, or eat a popsicle, or a couple bites of chocolate, and then I’m fine. Today I had an amazing breakthrough - I ate a normal portion of Lays potato chips. (We live near a Frito Lay factory, and I swear our chips are better than anywhere else because they are so fresh.) A month ago, I’d have gone back for a couple more handfuls of chips.

Counterintuitively, I’ve been more energetic since I’ve been eating less. However, what I’m not doing is starving myself. I’m trying not to let myself get to the point that I’m hungry enough to eat any old crap that is put on a plate in front of me. Surprisingly, I’ve lost 5 lbs in the last couple weeks without even trying very hard. I feel like I’ve had quite the breakthrough. This all sounds so hokey, but it’s really been working for me. And, I’m a “do what works for now” kind of gal.

Hope all the other 3fc’ers are enjoying their lives this week!

Have you heard the one about the girl who ate nearly all of her Weight Watchers flex points in one day, and had nearly six days left before her points started over again? Not a funny joke, isn’t it? We’re not all points counters, I realize, but my guess is that many 3fc’ers can relate. Yesterday was one of those days for me. I went along swimmingly with my points counting until a bag of chips appeared in my office’s kitchen. There are not many foods I completely avoid, but I have a hard time resisting the salty crunch of chips. I had a bunch yesterday. Since I didn’t measure (who measures a binge?), I’ve no idea how many points I consumed but probably more than I wrote down. I could have recovered from the afternoon’s excess by eating the tomato soup that I planned to cook for dinner (I’ve a new recipe to try). Instead, I went with a can of coke, 2 slices of everything pizza, and a salad for dinner.

I’d like to blame my car battery - it chose to die on me last evening, prompting me to make a dozen phone calls to figure out what to do and prompting me to guzzle coke while I waited on the servicemen and to forego cooking dinner because I didn’t want to eat so late. I’d even like to blame the fact that I’m totally bummed to be away from my sweetie and constantly annoyed at work these days, which seemed to prompt the chips fest earlier in the day. Honestly, though, I really need to take a hard look at myself. Why do I let little stresses hijack my dieting? I always feel worse, not better, after going so way off track. It’s not just feeling emotionally worse and beating myself up over eating so poorly. My body gets all out of whack as it doesn’t quite know how to process all the grease. To boot, I am staring down six days of hunger as I’ve only a few measly flex points for the rest of the week.

I am trying to look upon my next few days’ worth of empty food diary pages with a steely-eyed gaze, but I’m wondering what to do. Do I just chalk up yesterday’s calorie laden cold comfort up as a missed opportunity for weight loss and start over with a full roster of flex points today? Or, do I just accept that I’ll feel very, very hungry until next Monday? I’m leaning toward the latter option, mostly because whenever I try to to just accept a “bad day”, I find myself on a slippery slope toward a string of bad days. I’ve never been good at rebounding from overindulgence, but some crazy part of me really wants to try this time. Am I being foolish for thinking that I’ll feel great on Sunday evening if I can say that I stuck to my points this week?

My weigh in this morning reflected 155.6 lbs, a loss of .6 lbs last week. As usual, my weight loss is puttering along slower than I’d like, but still I happily say “woo-hoo” to my few ounces of progress. 

I had some interesting moments while eating last week that I’d like to share. Having been writing my meals fairly faithfully for a few weeks now (weekends are still a problem), I’m much more conscious that apparently my diet can be pretty carb-o-riffic. When I make dinner, I may make one carb side dish. But, while eating at my parents’ house or dining in a restaurant, I’ve noticed just how often two or more carbs are offered as choices. Mashed potatoes and a biscuit? Rice and bread? Pasta with a cake chaser? It’s all a bit much, isn’t it?

I’m not some anti-carb Atkins or South Beach nut, but I recognize that I’m not getting a lot of nutritional bang for my buck by eating refined white flour products. I’m a fan of some whole grain products out there, like whole wheat pasta, bulgar, and whole grain Krispy Kremes . Yet,  I’ve still a ways to go to accept other whole grain foods. Despite years of trying, I have yet to identify the charm of brown rice. So, instead of finding whole grain substitutes for all of my carbs, my focus lately has been on just eating half of whatever carbs find their way to my plate. I was visiting my fiance this weekend, and he was impressed when I simply ate half a serving of potatoes and bread at mealtimes. In addition to cutting down on carbs, I’ve been totally loading up on vegetables. My mom gave me a startled look the other night when I took a whole forest of broccoli florets for dinner. I have learned, though, that whereas bread makes me feel very much like a stuffed potato, vegs leave me feeling satisfied yet light. So, it is baby steps for me for now, substituting vegetables for carbs as I write what I eat. Still, I have an eensy bit of hope that perhaps, one day, I’ll be the queen of quinoa.

This morning, my scales read 155.2 - a 1.6 pound weight loss for the week. Now, that’s a result a girl can be happy with! I have finally hit my weight loss stride. Who knows where my motivation wanders off to? I’m just glad that the prodigal has returned, and I welcome it with open arms!

The next time my motivation goes on a bender, I’ll refer back to this entry to review my techniques for a successful weight loss week. So, here’s what I did during the week:

Technique 1 - I recorded what I ate. Monday - Thursday, I was the food diary queen. I wrote down my meals, sans point values or calories, and noted the WW “good health guidelines” that I acheived - fruits and vegs, dairy, H2O, exercise, and vitamins.  When I got home Friday, I put away my little yellow notebook. This wasn’t planned, just forgetfulness on my part. I had a moment this morning when I said, “oh hello there,” to the notebook before putting it with my purse to go to work with me. Despite the lack of recording over the weekend, I think I did fine because of technique 2…

Technique 2 - I ate real meals and did not snack. I love food. I crave complete meals. I do not do well with the six mini-meals concept that so many people swear by when losing weight. So, this week I made a concerted effort to enjoy my meals (sometimes even eating ice cream!) and to put away the snacks. I ate just until satisfied and no more; I allowed myself to get decently hungry before eating again. This technique worked really well, and I plan on keeping it up this week!

Technique 3 - I was kind to myself. I finally owned up to the fact that I might very well make a weight loss mistake every single day. I realized that I didn’t have to be perfect in order to lose weight. I enjoyed eating real food with real fat and real calories. If I made a mistake, I simply acknowledged it and told myself to make a better choice next time.

I’m looking forward to my weigh in next week to see how I do over the holidays. Last year, I was freaked out as the holidays approached. I knew that pumpkin pie and stuffing could decimate my points allowances. I was terrified of gaining weight. I found myself eating little at meals, then finding pieces of candy or another spoonful of potatoes to feel full. I wound up putting on a couple of pounds. This year, I’m not afraid that I’ll gain weight. It’s odd, but I’m confident that I’ll keep losing weight during the holidays. I’m not thinking about point values at all. Instead, I’m thinking of all the joy I’ll have hanging out with my family and friends. I’m thinking of how much fun I’ll have stealing some moments alone with the one I love. And, I’m thinking of how much I’ll savor that piece of pumpkin pie that I’ll eat on Thursday. 

This morning, I weighed 156.8. I had hoped to have lost 2 pounds this past week (putting me at 155.8), but I’ll definitely take 1! This past weekend was one of those times when things could have gone horribly wrong with my diet. I was spending the weekend with my BF in Florida. We went to an air show with plenty of fair food offerings - funnel cakes, corn dogs, etc. I compromised, drinking a Coke but splitting a grilled chicken sandwich with my BF.  I disagree with those diet nuts who say that it isn’t good for us to link food with celebrating. However, it is good to realize that you can have fun and celebrate without eating a ton of calories. There’s a balance, and I found it this weekend.

I’m still shooting for a 2lb weight loss one of these weeks…I hope to be a 154.8 by next Monday. That’ll set me up for almost hitting my Thanksgiving goal weight of 153.8. Writing what I eat down in my little yellow notebook is helping to keep my tendency to snack too much at work in check.

At lunchtime today I wasn’t hungry for food. Everything I thought of eating sounded unappetizing to me. I still feel all hollow and worn out inside from arguing with my boyfriend last night. He’s coming for a visit this weekend, and I have no idea how it will go. I’ve not been able to see him for more than a month, so I will be genuinely glad. But, I still am sad and hurt because he never seemed to get what was upsetting me. He keeps talking about being married, but I’m hurt that it is taking so long to get engaged. I feel like until I have a ring on my finger that my parents and coworkers will just think I’m crazy to be expecting to be a Mrs. next year.

So, I’m blogging now becaue my way of “dealing” with feeling crappy at lunch today was to grab fast food at Chick-fil-a. I wasn’t even hungry. I just wanted something that might be comforting. But, my chicken wrap and waffle fries didn’t make anything better. Why in the world would such food be a comfort? If anything, they’ve made my day more difficult now. The food I ate wasn’t healthy and certainly won’t keep me feeling energized for very long. But, I’m pretty much stuck not eating anything the rest of the day to make up for my lunchtime excesses.

I’m blogging to remind myself that there are other ways of dealing with the bad days in life besides eating. Also, I’m blogging to remind myself that my healthier life and dieting will continue on in spite of this minor failing. Writing about this setback is reminding me that with another blog entry comes another chance at redemption. Here’s to a healthy rest of the day.

It feels absolutely blissful not to be counting WW points. I am steadily losing pounds (well, okay, ounces) this week and no longer feeling like everything I eat will have a negative affect on my diet. On my other blog (see the blogroll), I wrote today about a West Indian Vegetable Curry that I’ve been eating all week. It is wonderfully tasty, healthy, and low in points for those who care. I do care about how the food I’m eating will impact my overall health. More important to me, however, is that what I eat tastes good. The stuff I was starting to eat while still on the WW flex plan was as interesting as cardboard, tasteless but low in points. So, I’m enjoying my meals again. Enjoyment, in turn, leads not to overeating but to true satisfaction with my diet.

So, with my diet in a happy place, I’m going to try to get my exercise routine into a happy place, too. It has been in a decidedly unhappy place lately - actually, in a non existent place. My week’s photography assignment is finally finished and under control, meaning no more getting home after midnight this week, so I’ll be heading to the gym after work. It will feel good to jolt the muscles out of their rusty confinement. They’ve been aching after I’ve spent 11 hours over the past two nights standing in the photography lab. It is as my muscles are practically shouting to me, ” we need to be stronger, make us stronger.” So, I’m gonna try.