Angel Food (lowfat)

When I first started Weight Watchers back in 2005, food journaling was a revelation to me. It taught me how much I was eating, how much I should be eating, what “quality” foods are, and why I tended to overeat. But, now in this “second leg” of weight loss - that is losing some of the 30 lbs I gained back after losing 75 lbs - I have a much more complicated relationship with food journaling. Now when I journal every day, I tend to beat myself up when I overeat. For some reason, when the “bad days” are down on paper, they hurt deeply. The negative feelings overwhelm me, and it’s draining trying to deal with negative emotions and diet at the same time. I find myself back in a messy cycle of losing/gaining.

I’ve been faithful with a new food journal technique, using it not so much as a daily record. Instead, I use it as a simple tool to get me back on track. If I gain one week, then I’ll journal for a couple days to get my appetite regulated again. This new technique has been difficult for my compulsive little soul to get used to. At first, it felt weird not to write down my food every day. But, I’ve found security in knowing that the food journal is there if I need it. It’s on my desk nearby, and I look at it every now and again to realize my progress, to remember healthy meal choices, and just to mentally check in.

Miraculously, this journaling technique has really been working for me. I stood on the scales this morning and was stunned. I weighed 155. I’ve lost about 9 lbs since January 1 and am on track to meet my goal of being below 150 by my wedding. I was able to wear a dress to work this week that I couldn’t fit into a couple months ago. What a relief! I wish I could get to a healthy enough point where I don’t stress out and judge myself by “good” or “bad” food days. However, progress is progress, and I’m pleased as can be to have a weight loss strategy that’s working.