Angel Food (lowfat)

 So, 14 years after graduating from high school, I finally finished up college last Thursday. It’s still sinking in that I don’t have to study my way through my weeknights anymore.  I’ve not quite figured out what to do with myself. I have a wedding to plan, although we can’t set a date yet. I’m definitely in limbo, just waiting, waiting, waiting for the military to tell my DF what his pilot training schedule will be for the next year. But, I’m determined not to get too frustrated by this whole limbo thing. After all, I graduate in just a few days with a 4.0 GPA. Not too shabby for a former college dropout!

Also, the week back on Weight Watchers went really well for me. I lost 4.2 lbs! Now, I know that’s generally too rapid a loss, but there’s always an adjustment period the first week back on points. Perhaps more important than the number on the scale, my DF and I had a real breakthrough with our eating habits when I visited him this past weekend. He actually didn’t protest too loudly when I refused to go to Waffle House for breakfast. (Funny, I still ate a waffle for breakfast - although it was half a belgian waffle with no whipped cream or butter.) For dinner, we took advantage of his living so near the water and got shrimp and flounder from an amazing fish market (the boats unload their catch directly behind the counter). I’ve never had such fresh seafood in my life! Silly to say, maybe, but it was a real step forward for us not to dine out at every meal and make healthy choices at home.

This week, I’ve no big plans to go to Pensacola, so staying on points should go just as well as, if not better than, last week. Now, I’ve no expectations for another four lbs gone, but two sure would be nice.

Today has been quite the day for getting things done for me. I overcame procrastination and accomplished several languishing projects at work. I immediately set to cleaning house as soon as I got in from work. Then, I started a pot of vegetable soup (Barbara Kafka’s recipe) and planted tomato seedlings while the soup simmered. I figured, why rest on my laurels when I’m on such a roll? So, I pulled out my laptop and rejoined Weight Watchers online.

The timing of my return to WW has a lot to do with my upswing back to 159 lb and with two friends of mine admitting that they’re both working hard on their weight. My roommate H has lost 12 lbs in the last few weeks, mostly due to heart break (such a sad way to lose). She put on a maddening 30 lbs while dating a guy who didn’t deserve her. Although the first post-break-up week she could barely eat she was so sad, now she’s focusing on losing weight in a healthy way (exercising, cutting down fastfood, sweets and soda, etc). Also, a close friend of mine has joined WW, losing about 7 lbs in 3 weeks. Not too shabby! With two people I’m close to dieting, I’ll have the support I need to withstand the hunger pangs that come with only eating 21 points a day. Plus, H and I have starting walking together and doing goofy ab workouts on exercise balls.

I have a few goals in mind as I rejoin weight Watchers. I’d like to get down to 140; nineteen lbs seems doable. I have a black tie event next month; it sure would feel nice to buy a size 10 dress instead of a size 12. Of course, I also have a wedding sometime in the next year! Actually, it’s the honeymoon I want to look good for. I want to have the confidence to lay on the beach beside my husband without wishing the whole time that I could cover myself up. My sweet man says I look great now, but I know that I can be better - stronger, healthier, and even more lovely.

My perspective on life has been quite different lately, and somehow losing weight has been easier. Because of the events of the past few weeks, I’ve become a kinder person - to others and to myself. Since this is supposed to be a weight loss blog, I’ll write a bit about the kindness to me. I’ve tried to embrace behaviors and actions that give me more energy. That means turning out the tv or putting away my reading (or blogging) earlier than usual so I can settle into sleep easier. I’ve been a breakfast eating fool, too; I dug out Round’s recipe for muesli from a while back  (wish I could find that post of hers to link here). I’ve made a few substitutions using what I have on hand (e.g. pepitas/pumpkin seeds instead of almonds), and I eat a nice, filling portion of it with yogurt to start my day.

Probably the biggest change is that I’m trying to make good choices about what I eat, “noticing” rather than “focusing on” how I feel while dining. I’m thinking about my satiety level while I’m eating, instead of regretting the “I’m stuffed” feeling laer. Also, I’m not letting myself get bored in life. I’m keeping myself focused on the work in front of me, instead of stressing about what’s left to be done. While relaxing, I’m experience things that I really enjoy rather than watching any old TV show and putting random snacks in my mouth. Eating larger meals and then keeping boredom at bay have cut way down on my snacking these past few weeks. I’ve also embraced the reality I can get by on far, far smaller amounts of food than was the norm for me. Now, when I feel hungry between meals I drink a glass of milk, or eat a popsicle, or a couple bites of chocolate, and then I’m fine. Today I had an amazing breakthrough - I ate a normal portion of Lays potato chips. (We live near a Frito Lay factory, and I swear our chips are better than anywhere else because they are so fresh.) A month ago, I’d have gone back for a couple more handfuls of chips.

Counterintuitively, I’ve been more energetic since I’ve been eating less. However, what I’m not doing is starving myself. I’m trying not to let myself get to the point that I’m hungry enough to eat any old crap that is put on a plate in front of me. Surprisingly, I’ve lost 5 lbs in the last couple weeks without even trying very hard. I feel like I’ve had quite the breakthrough. This all sounds so hokey, but it’s really been working for me. And, I’m a “do what works for now” kind of gal.

Hope all the other 3fc’ers are enjoying their lives this week!

So, wouldn’t you know it? The couple of weeks leading up to my big car accident were really great workout weeks for me. My workouts got me outside, walking and jogging in the beautiful Georgia springtime air. Now that I’ve been cooped up for a week nursing my bumps and bruises, I’m aching to get moving again. I’m going to approach working out very timidly, which is sort of how I’m approaching life in general these days.

I’ve been back at work now for a few days, but my commute still creeps me out. I used to be fearless while driving, which is probably a cause of my running into a telephone pole. But, now i’m at the other extreme. There must be a happy medium where I’m driving with caution but not like a grandma. (Not that there’s anything wrong with grandmas; I just want to enjoy driving again.) Friends who’ve been in accidents tell me that my confidence will return, and I’ve just got to be patient. So, patient I am trying to be.

Back to exercise… I’m going to get walking again. My knees were banged up in the accident, but I think I can handle a nice stroll through the neighborhood. The dogwoods, azaleas, and cherry trees are blooming like crazy this week and are so beautiful. The azaleas are stunning this year, showing off their deep purples and hot pinks. The cherry trees went all out today, probably at their fullest for the year. I got distracted at work several times just looking out the window at the lovely light pink blossomes. The more subdued dogwoods, which are creamy and light green, are my sentimental favorite, though; I’ve loved them since I was a little girl. I say, “Allergies be darned. Where are my walking shoes?”

Walking is just a start of my exercise again; I’d like to run after my knees have healed. Of course, I really want to get back to my yoga, but I know I’m not ready for that yet. I’m trying to get by without my pain meds now; introducing yoga will probably not help with the soreness at this point. I’m still processing through my accident, and one desire that came out of it is that I have a stronger desire to do what I can to live a long and healthy life, to take good care of this body I’ve been given. I’ll never be an athlete, but I can be strong, lean, and well-balanced woman. I’m not too far from where I want to be physically, from feeling how I want to feel. For me, it will be important to ease back into a consistent exercise routine again (note: routine not regimen). I want to incorporate movement and activity into my daily life, so that some time well spent exericisng isn’t out of the ordinary, just part of who I am.