Angel Food (lowfat)

A friend of mine, who is a recovering alcoholic, likes to quote this line from the Big Book: “insanity is doing the same thing over and over, but expecting different results.” Following that definition, my dieting lately has been insane. I keep doing the same things over and over, and then I’m upset when I lose only a few ounces each week. Some of my habits are good. For instance, I have been writing everything down faithfully into my food diary, even during the weekend when I went way beyond my remaining flex points. I’ve also been trying to make healthier food choices (this morning, I forewent [?] the cheese danish at work for a half of a whole wheat bagel). Also, I’ve been honest and forthright with people about the fact that I’m dieting again. But that’s about it for healthy, sane diet behaviors for me.

So, what are some of my insane diet behaviors? Primarily, going totally bust on my food points. Additionally, I bring my workout clothes with me everywhere I go, yet never seem to make it to the gym. Another insane behavior of mine is that I weigh myself every single day (sometimes twice or more) as some sort of not very helpful motivation. Clearly, three weeks into Lenten discipline of points counting, I need some sort of dieting intervention.

I’m staring down my Wednesday weigh in tomorrow with dread. I want different results tomorrow than I’ve had in past weeks; realistically, I know that I won’t weigh any less this week. The good news is, tomorrow is the start of another weight watching week for me. I’m going out on a limb here and saying that things will be different this week. I’m finally mad enough about not seeing any progress with my weight loss to change some of my insane behaviors. My absolute number one behavior change has got to be sticking with the Weight Watchers flex points plan. I’ve chosen the plan as my weight loss tool. It makes no sense for me to be writing every morsel of my meals into my food diary for no good reason, no good results. Additionally, I commit to 3 short cardio sessions this week. These work outs probably won’t spur much weight loss; however, getting into the habit of working out is a very sane behavior that I want to incorporate into my life.

My AA friend tells me that no one can get sober until they decide that they’ve had enough, until they decide to make a change. I’m so tired of doing the same things over and over, knowing all along that I’m not doing what I need to do to be healthy. May this be my “enough” moment, the moment that I believe that I can be restored to sanity.