Angel Food (lowfat)

After a couple weeks of being particularly undisciplined with my weight loss, I’m trying to get back on my plan today. I’m doing the Weight Watchers thing - 21 points a day with 35 flex points a week. It’s so hard. I am really hungry and am having trouble not thinking about food. Unfortunately, I also have this little ounce or two of self doubt in my head that I will never be able to follow the points plan to the T. You see, despite losing 75 lbs on the plan once, I was never really successful at it. That is, I never, ever once just ate the prescribed amount of points. I always went over by a few each week - and I still lost weight.

Since then, though, I’ve gained between 20-25 lbs back (depending on the weigh in). When I decided to stop gaining and tried the points plan again over the past year, I always went much more than a few points over - I’m talking I was going over something like 30 points a week. Gee, wonder why I’m having trouble losing weight? I’m having trouble accepting hunger as a normal state of being and with having energy while dieting.

Hunger and depleted energy levels don’t help, but self doubt seems to be my biggest problem. I’ve been able to maintain easily between 153 and 158 lbs without paying attention to what I’m eating. I’ve been wondering, is staying below 153 maintainable for me? Also, is the WW flex plan really doable for me? Perhaps, more importantly, am I confident enough to pull of my skinny jeans again?

The answer to the first two questions is, I’m pretty sure, “yes.” Reaching my goal weight of 135 via flex plan is doable - I did it before. Although I didn’t maintain as well as I’d like, once I was determined to stop my weight gain, I’ve been able to maintain my weight pretty well. As for the confidence question - that’s definitely the million dollar question. I hope to be able to answer “yes” one day. I want to feel good in my body. At 135, I didn’t, and it was a shame. It wasn’t too long before I started gaining weight. Now, I’m feeling pudgy and soft again. I’ve slacked on my New Year’s resolution of working out. I’m starting to be out of breath on certain flights of stairs. I don’t feel as attractive around my fiance as I’d like to. I figure, I can either bury my hopes for a healthier body. Or, I can choose to feel motivated by them and do something to feel better physically while I work on my self confidence. So… flex points counting it will be for me.

Briefly — here is my weigh in update for the past couple weeks –

 Feb 6: 160.0 lbs   Feb 13: 158.6 lbs

My weigh in day is changed to Wednesday for the forty days of Lent. I’m incorporating flex points counting into my Lenten disciplines. My first week was not good, prompting this post. I definitely fell off the points counting wagon on the weekend. It looks like a good weight loss, I know, but it really isn’t. I totally pigged out on Mardi Gras, which skewed the weigh in on Feb 6. I was down to 158 by Friday, but then didn’t lose anymore…

Thanks for whoever’s reading my ramblings. If you have any tips for keeping up a high energy level while points counting/dieting, I’d appreciate what you have to say! Also, any suggestions on how to deal with the hunger?