Sometimes we need a day to do absolutely nothing..maybe its the laziness within speaking but this afternoon we had blowing snow….I stayed in bed w/ my pjs on and watched movies. It was nice to not have anything to do….well yes there is tons of things that could have been done around here (fold laundry..tidy up etc) but I said ‘Shag it all’
My mom called today……it was the first time I had spoken to her since Boxing Day. Yes I am that stubborn. She said “oh why haven’t you called?” I said, “well you do have a phone and honestly I just didn’t feel like calling.” –which is the truth…I don’t think I did anything wrong over the stupid comment I made during Xmas…..I think her bf went overboard and crossed a line. When I finished speaking to her today she said “I love you” which we don’t say a lot. I grew up in an angry household. When my father was around…and he was drinking…there was fighting…i mean heavy duty…and then when they separated (never married) I felt that my mom always felt like she was ‘stuck’ with us or that we were some sort of burden. Much to say, “I love you” wasn’t something said often. After speaking to her I felt kind of bad…for not calling her sooner..but I regretted not saying, “the reason I hadn’t called is because I am hurt over what happened over Xmas…I’m hurt that I have to feel unwelcomed when I go home, I’m upset that you let your bf flip out on me and didn’t see no harm in it….and I’m upset because I’ve decided that I will NOT be spending another Christmas at home”. My mother had heart problems back in the fall..and that sort of holds me back from speaking my mind..I don’t want her to have some sort of attack…but I should be honest. She spoke today as if nothing had happened….I guess trying to let bygones be bygones. I hold on to things….and when something upsets me it doesn’t just evaporate over night. It doesn’t help that it’s TOM…..i’m beyond emotional…watching sappy videos on Youtube and crying over them…bahhhh…..FML.
Anywho weight was 152 today…I barely ate…probably stress because of all that. Only had a wrap and small chilli (which is only 4 pts in ww’s but loaded in sodium—drinking LOTS of water tonight, lol).
I WILL go to Zumba tomorrow!