Archive for October, 2010

Part 2

Thought I’d make this post another entry, last one is a little long. Myra and I decided to NOT go downtown shopping etc…said maybe next weekend when I am NOT detoxing, lol. The weather is very chilly and windy here today too. We went to the mall so I could return and shirt and believe it or not, I didn’t buy a thing! My anniversary for work is tomorrow (6yrs) and the company buys a gift ($25 1-4 yrs, and $50 for 5 yrs and after) for the employee. I asked for a Smart Set gift card..my favorite store..look up www.smartset.ca

I came home and I did something I shouldn’t have done. I ate half tsp of light peanut butter…felt very headachy again..guessing sugars were low, and I also ate a 60 calorie Hallween treat (Twizzler) I felt so bad after! but I didn’t think it was too too bad.

Just seen this video on facebook. It’s titled “The Meaning of Life”

Please please check it out! It’s awesome!!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aNN1VKeS61g

Angela

Detox Day 2

Yay I am down to 153.5! TWO whole pounds. Just ate half cantaloupe and another egg white omellete w/ broccoli in it (that I had to force down–I get sick of foods easily) and two pieces of turkey bacon. Along w/ a huge glass of water too. Now I feel full..hope this feeling lasts.

Still not sure if I’m going downtown shopping w/ Myra..a teeny part of me feels like not going–We always get lunch there or go to a cafe. I refuse to pay for a salad just to eat the green lettuce…I can stay home and do that. I guess we could go somewhere and I could just get green tea. Detox says nothing about drinking that and it’s good for you.

Tomorrow is SUPPOSED to go like this :

4 starch (none after 2pm), 3 dairy, 3 fat (meaning oil, margarine–this will be hard for me..I don’t eat a lot of this, can you believe it??) 3 veggies, 3 fruit, 3.5 servings of protein (chicken, fish, eggs, beans..you know what i mean)

Avoid bananas and carrots (high in sugar).

Off limits list:

NO chips
NO bars
NO fattening sauces (high in fat mayo, etc.)
NO soft drinks
NO juices (water ONLY)
NO Alcohol (this is more for me, not you haha)

So when I get home this afternoon I am going to do a food plan for the next few days. After looking at the list I have come to realize that I don’t eat ENOUGH….most of my food lately consists of high carbs/sugary things..its no wonder my ass is getting fatter!

Have a great Sunday! Oh almost forgot! Happy Halloween!

Ang

MIA~~~Detox-Day1

I have been MIA lately..sorry girls. I just really didn’t feel like blogging..plain and simple. Perhaps afraid to face the truth. Weight for the past few days has been 155-155.5. Sometimes I feel so disappointed in myself. Like I just want to sit down and cry about it all. I really get down so much about weight and food.

I vowed on Thursday that I wasn’t going to eat any junk on Friday (Halloween costume party for the kids at work). I couldn’t even keep that vow to myself. Why is it that I do so many things to help others or when I make promises to others I keep them but I can’t promise myself anything!? Am I any less important ?? I ended up going out on lunch to a local pizza place to get a slice. Couldn’t eat it all and threw it out. Then a parent made homemade cupcakes (that were amazing) and I ate one of those (scraped icing off). I did eat a lot of fresh fruit ( i asked parents to please bring healthy foods if possible). But after eating the pizza..the cupcake..everything..for the first time in my life I felt like making myself throw up. I physically felt gross as well as mentally.

Today I woke up with a new attitude. I said the ONLY way to make myself do this is to do the detox (read back thru my older blogs) I know I can’t do the first two days while working and be so limited while the kids are eating so many other things so I decided to start it over the weekend where I know I won’t have any outside influences and I can control it. I went to the grocery store and bought two cantaloupes…one for each day..broccoli, romaine lettuce, turkey bacon, salsa and chicken breast. I am going to allow myself to eat egg whites as well as salsa during the first two days. I ate 3/4 of the cantaloupe (to catch up because half is for breakfast and half for lunch). I made an eggwhite omelette with steamed broccoli in it and i had four pieces of turkey bacon. (Says you can eat as much as you’d like because of the limited choices). I also ‘fried’ all the turkey bacon in a non stick pan w/ PAM and put in a container..to have available, lol.

I hope this works! I need to do something that is controlled. Like weight watchers or this. I am hoping by Monday to have a few lbs lost and then continue with the 5 other days of detox (a lot more food choices, thank god!)

Have a good weekend!

Angela

update: detox is going good so far. Just woke up from a nap and felt really hungry/headachey…Gave in and ate ten Craisins..SOMETHING with a teeny bit of sugar..lol. I wouldn’t call it cheating tho. I then cooked chicken breast and ate two wraps (chicken on the romaine w/ salsa). I had 3 but it was kind of sickening so I gave it do bf. Yes even my boyfriend ate this and didn’t complain at all. I said by all means, take the car to go get something better if you want. Instead he just sat, ate it (thank god he’ll eat anything) and said, “hmm I feel like we live in the jungle”. Oh well. I am HOPING to god I can get thru tomorrow. Myra and I initially said we’d go downtown shopping and get lunch. I told her lunch is out for me, lol. But how the hell am I supposed to go walking around all afternoon? Not like I can bring a ziploc baggy of steamed (I hate raw) broccoli.

Help!

Angela

Happy Friday!

So I haven’t blogged in a while….think it’s because I’ve been feeling really good (emotionally/mentally) lately and when I come here it reminds me of the fact that I’ve fallen off the wagon and it depresses me. 🙁

Weighed myself yesterday (after a few days of not) and was 152.5. Losing it you’re almost there!!!

Eating bran cereal w/ banana in it and skim milk as we speak.

Myra and I skipped the Zumba class last night for work because I don’t enjoy it much as my other one in Paradise and instead we went to a Chinese buffet. I know …baddddddddddd!

Altho I did eat a lot of veggies and salmon…but buffets are just horrible. I have been craving this particular place for a few mths so I said heck with it..now its done and over with.

I need to get on track

I need to drink more water.

Have a great day! Ang

Is it Friday yet? Please say it is! lol

Hi everyone…I am feeling a little better..however I snapped at my sister tonight. Last week I asked her to pick up a few necessity items for the house (she hasn’t bought ANYTHING in forever and gets 30% off at her store)..she hasn’t picked up anything yet. As I was about to leave (Zumba!) she comes asking if i’m going out..of course i assume because she wanted a ride somewhere…..i said yes going now..couldn’t you have gone out earlier in the day to get whatever it is (we LITERALLY live 5 minutes walk from a shopping centre that includes Walmart/ huge grocery store, etc)..of course she asks what is my problem? I said my problem IS that i’m not your taxi..i’m not going to be anymore..I’m not your cook or source of food every night (she sometimes will say, “what are you doing for supper?” or expect to be brought to buy takeout) and i’m not your house cleaner (she does NOTHING unless repeatedly asked). If she thinks I’m all about myself I am going to start being about myself. I have done nothing but bend over backwards and I get no cooperation from her whatsoever to make this a better place to live.

On the good news..weight still 151.5. Went home for two nights and had turkey dinner..yummy! and ate a lot of bad foods. Mom made blueberry cheesecake (with Coolwhip)..and I ate a ton.

I didn’t eat supper tonight. Went to the evil Bulk Barn..got some dry roasted unsalted almonds…a few choc covered pretzels and this chocolate drizzled caramel popcorn. Shit i didn’t need besides the almonds. Ate some of each and went to Zumba..felt very sluggish. Haven’t been to Zumba in over a week because I had a cold last week..I just would have diedddddddddd!

Have a great day!

Ang

Onion!

Last week I felt like an onion. Sometimes I really do. And each layer on an onion was a layer of stress on me. Eventually I felt like an onion that was going to blow up..well sometimes I actually did.

My family stresses me right the fuck out..and sometimes I wish I had nothing to do with them…seriously. Two weeks ago my sister (who I have been supporting for four months when her EI had run out..I know stupid me) messaged my friend Myra on MSN to ask if she knew where I was. Myra said a movie w/ other friend. Somehow because I told sis earlier in day that the cinema had ticket specials on..she assumed she was going to a movie w/ me. Yet she didn’t have any money and assumed I’d pay for her?? Anyways she said to Myra, “Oh I thought I was going but you know Angela, all about herself.” This pissed Myra because she KNOWS how little sis helps out and that I have paid her share for the longest time. Myra said, “Well its none of my business but Angela doesn’t have to invite you when she’s out w/ her friends..just like you do your own thing w/ yours. Sis replied, “yah you are right, it is none of your business…ttyl” What a rude bitch!

I FELT LIKE KICKING HER ASS INTO OUTER SPACE!

I was soo furious. She wasn’t home til 12 am. I couldn’t sleep. I hate confrontations but I COULD NOT let this go. I went into her room and said..how dare you tell myra that I’m all about myself??? She said well i thought we were going? I said how can you afford a movie and supper??? I don’t go out w/ you/your friends etc. She then said well that pissed me off what she said…I said well she said it because she knows how fucking untrue it is. I also said..IF I were selfish and about myself you wouldn’t be living here and off of me. I walked out and slammed the door.

Then there’s my brother…texting me telling me how broke he is…well don’t fucking waste it by partying and smoking dope…He knows not to ask for $$$$$$ because Sis owes me so much. I then had to call and ask mom for him..arrange for him to get money etc.

Bf and I were arguing all last week…..over shitty stuff that really has no meaning. I screwed up my BC pills..and took two in one day….hormones out of WHACK! I was up til 2-3 am a few nights….and was tired/ cranky and extremely irritable.

And on top of that my weight went to 155.5 and that was just one more layer on my onion. I snapped at co workers and honestly don’t know how I managed.  I felt like I needed medication.

I am also going to ask my Dr. to get bloodwork done to check my hormones. I am on the pill and the week before my period I feel insane. seriously.

It’s thanksgiving weekend now and I think we’re going to drive home tonight. 3.5 hrs…gee funnnnnnnnnnn. Yay Turkey!

My weight is back to 151.5. I ate like shit all day long. We cooked turkey for the kids. A parent made blueberry cheesecake and pumpkin shortbread cookies for dessert. Anyways I am not going to fret over it…been doing well lately.

Have a great weekend!!!!!

Ang