Well it was after 2 am before I got any sleep. Bf is leaving the weekend and he’s a little edgy. I got a call last night from my Grandmother saying that my ‘father’..if i can call him that..is here visiting..she was wondering if I was going home for Thanksgiving. NO and thank god for that…anyways I was stressed out and we (bf and I) were arguing all night…

I’ve only seen my father ONCE since I was about 13 yrs old. He lived with us up until then..used to drink and of course take it out on my mother..now let me add that my mother has red hair and is full of spite as well. Anyways he left NL and moved to Alberta and has only returned twice since…….once when my Grandfather was ill and now. What makes it so hard is that I’m extremely close to my grandparents..his parents. At the beginning my aunts would buy me presents and write “Love Dad” on them…yes perhaps he sent them the $$ for them but I honestly think they were just trying to compensate for them. So my grandmother said last night..oh perhaps you’ll get to talk to him on the phone before he goes back. I literally felt like screaming at her! I’ve literally spoken to him probably 5 whole times in 14 years! I hate that she has to try to make us close. A part of me hates him for not trying…for not being the father he should have. My grandmother is 80 years old..a heart of gold….so as much as I’d like to say something I hold it all in.

This is probably the most ‘private’ blog I’ve written on here..but in a way it’s like a diary..lol

Ohh..on a good note, the scale this AM read 144-145..thank god for that…off to work and a meeting after..Yay :-(.

Angela