did not exist.I had to work at 8am….got up got dressed and realized…CRAP! forgot to weigh myself…Yesterday was the first Friday I didn’t weigh in and write down how much i weighed since LAST January..and no I was not trying to avoid weighing myself..lol…I was running short of time and didn’t feel like undressing just to weigh.

I weighed this morning and I am 143. Quite surprised considering yesterday was such a horrible day for me food wise…ate mac and cheese with the children at lunch…regular cheddar cheese and pasta..nothing lowfat and whole wheat. I also admit to you all that I had 3 very small children bowlfuls. What a complete glutton! I came home from work feeling like the biggest pig alive. THEN to top it all off my bf and I tried a new restaurant and I chose the hot turkey sandwich with fries. It was a complete binge day and I came home literally wanting to make myself throw up. It isn’t healthy to eat so much that I feel sick. I’ve only done that one other time throughout my journey…that I had a complete blowout and ate whatever was in sight..making myself sick.

I have given a lot of thought into my Christmas staff buffet next weekend. I think I am going to allow myself ONE plate..and that is all. There is no need for me to go crazy with food. Afterall it’s just that FOOD! Nothing more or less. Yes it’s good but there are other yummy and better things in life besides food. I am leaning towards just having turkey and salads or a little bit of everything. I have no idea. I think it will depend on how this week goes…If I do well all week I may allow myself to eat a little more.

Okay as you all can tell I am obsessing over food..and that is exactly what it has become…an OBSESSION. I hate it. Sometimes a little part of me wishes I never even dieted. Yes I am much happier with the weigh/ size I am now and the new healthy lifestyle I have taken on (well on most days) but I despise how much this whole thing has taken over my entire life.

I have even noticed occasionally that I take my frustrations out on my boyfriend regarding food. For instance..If I am wanting something unhealthy so badly but won’t allow myself to eat it I become irritable and unbearable. He just thinks I am being contrary but how do I deal with this???

Anyways we were out Xmas shopping today and I picked out two pairs of jeans for myself from bf…one pair of Skinny Jeans..my first ever! Size 28!! And a regular pair of lowcut flares Size 29. Perhaps every time I put a bite of junky food into my mouth I should picture those jeans and ask myself if I want them to fit when I open them up Xmas morning..lol.

Have a great night Sisterchicks! Gonna go watch a movie!! My bf bought a projector and he has it connected to the DVD player..plays movies on the wall!! My own movie theatre!! lol

Angela