I don’t know if I should be thankful for what my bf did today..or his effort……or be a complete bitch and tell him to take it all back…What exactly am I talking about??

I asked him to go buy a veggie salad at the local grocery store as well as some bananas……..thats it! Well all I’ve heard from him since he’s been home is how I must not be eating because there is ” No food in the house at all!” So he picks me up from work and tells me he bought soo many groceries……..OH NOOOO….OOH GODDDDDDDDDDDD!!! Ok so I give him SOME credit..he did get the salad and bananas..also some peppers/tomatoes/yogurt…but NOT fatfree :(…….eggs..weight watcher wraps, and tuna..so he didn’t do ABSOLUTELY horrible……….and the other bad stuff??? Some peanut butter…and NOT light..I told him the peanut butter will be there forever….full fat cheese slices………again the yogurt w/ fat :(……ice cream…crackers…whole wheat GOLDFISH (as if i’m 5 yrs old..and why because he’s never seen me eat these before) Some chocolate cracker thingies…yes are only 1 pt for two but will I be able to stop after only 2 of these??? He also bought some oatmeal..god love him..but its not the weight control Quaker…just the regular packs of instant apple Quaker…I guess I can keep them for when I run out of my regular ones…….Oh and did I mention the Dairy Milk chocolate bar AND the regular Tostitos…not the Baked ones I buy or hell even multigrain which are even better than the regular ones………no the DAMN plain ol salty and fatty ones!

I don’t know if I should be fed up or just be thankful….I am trying to understand also that he’s not here long enough to know what I eat and I guess because I am perfectly fine eating the same ol things everyday it looks like I have no food here………I basically live off of fruit/veggies/oatmeal/tuna and I’m okay with that…………..

He takes things very personally so I thanked him and said calmly……….Next time you want to do grocery shopping could you PLEASEEEE make sure I am with you and that it puts me in an awkward position as well when I should be thankful but inside I’m screaming!!

Has this happened to anyone else before?? I think I’ve learned my lesson to stock up on the things he likes BEFORE he gets home so he doesn’t feel the need to go shopping and think that I’m starving….oh dear!

You’re right Patty..Men have absolutely NOOO idea on how we eat and how we buy groceries…As you can see my bf is a major snacker and he loves chips..don’t know if i can get away with throwing them out…perhaps I will pick up my own Baked Tostitos tomorrow…and he can have ‘his own’ lol……….

Also forgot to add that I am having a horrible horrible horrible horrible week……..pizza the night he got home AND chinese last night…….. Tonight i weighed 151……..I’ve been 146.5 in the AM for the past while..I know so not good to weigh in the evening…espeically after all the things I’ve eaten lately…….praying to god its water retention…I know I will have a gain tomorrrow…and its honestly all my own fault!

soo good day all around..stayed on track w/ my pts AND walked home from work–30 mins…

excited tonight!..bf is home tomorrow!! Every 20 days he is home for 7…which is great in a way because for those 20 days I can totally focus on myself and making myself healthier ( how selfish is that???) I plan to make a load of pancakes tomorrow AM for him as a surprise for when he arrives home…He loves them so much and I haven’t made them in FOREVER!

I feel like all I think about is food though..like these 20 pts are depriving me….not enough! I seriously need to incorporate more 0 pt foods (raw veggies/ ww soup) into my diet..perhaps its boredom and I am finding myself with a lot of time to waste and just THINK….nah perhaps not..even when I am at work I am thinking of food and I literally don’t stop for a minute at work….any ideas chicks???

Have a great night!

Oh reading “P.S. I love you” —-awesome book!!!..but wishing I had read it BEFORE i seen the movie…because it IS totally different and the movie kinda places images in your head of how it is supposed to be…oh well!

I feel soo lazy lately..I cannot remember the last time I walked OR jogged…I feel exhausted most of the time and just so BLAHH…Today is a beautiful day here and I’ve sat inside the entire day! I need to kick myself in the BUTTTTTT!

I made grilled tuna sandwiches for supper..soo yummy..I bought a little grill and the only thing I’ve used it for are sandwiches…they are my obsession lately..lol….with weight watcher bread of course!

Went out w/ some friends last night…and I usually drink Hydra coolers but I’m sure they’re loaded with sugar and empty calories….instead made a drink of Crystal Lite, diet 7up and flavoured vodka! Really great but full of chemicals!! lol

My boyfriend is home on Tuesday..YAY!!! I’m not going to fret about my eating while he is home..he’ll eat most anything and never complains…thats why I prefer to do the cooking..let’s me be in control! We may go out to eat next weekend so I will have to save some points!!

I have an evil craving lately of fries and gravy…went out shopping/supper Friday night with two of my girlfriends and totally wanted to give in but instead had Extreme Pita (at the Food court)…soo yummy but darn expensive…$11 something for the pita/drink/baked chips combo! But also worth every cent!

Happy Friday Y’all

Just weighed in…Still 146.5..YAY!!! Wondering what to take for lunch today…hmmm…maybe a boiled egg and some of that fruit..lol!

Short on time so I will try to write later!

ok so seems like EVERYTIME i go to the grocery store I buy more and more and MORE fruit……..just a habit I assume by now………Just went out and seen all the fruit in the fridge………I have pears, plums, apples, oranges, grapes, bananas, and watermelon in the house….YUMMMMMMMMMMM..I eat at least 2-3 pieces of fruit a day and find it soo delish and only buy 2-3 of each so it won’t go bad and so I can mix it up and not get sick of a certain one!

Realized today that my “new” size 8 jeans my boyfriend bought me a few mths ago seem loose on me…I HAVE to wear a belt and the bum is loose…….I should try another size out of curiousity this weekend if I’m out shopping but they still look okay and not baggy…I was so proud when I got these and I will hold on to them for a long time!!!……..the first pair of single digit sized pants I’ve own in about 8-10 years!

This morning I was still 146.5…yay..hoping my weigh in tomorrow is the same or even less..but would be pleased with it not moving….that would be down 1.5 lbs since last Friday!!!! Keep your fingers crossed chicklets!!!

Have a fabulous weekend!!

A good shock that is……curious to see my weight so i got on the scale..like I do every morning..yes i know it’s a horrible habit…….Anyways it ready 146.5!!!! That’s 1.5 down from yesterday?? Is that even possible? Perhaps my mini binge on the weekend put me through a plateau?? I’ve heard before that it possibly can..because it makes your metabolism work even harder to get rid of all the calories..it tricks your metabolism! Well I’m so excited…I’m NOT going to let my work get me down today….and I plan to not SNEAK or even have a forkful of ANYTHING at work……………Seeing the scale this morning means so much more to me then have a bite of food that only lasts two seconds!!!

Soo…it’s been a few days since my last blog…stayed at a friends house ALL weekend (even though she literally lives 10 minutes away..lol)…

So three reasons why I haven’t written……..guilt/avoidance because a) didn’t have a particularly healthy weekend…mcd’s for fri supper…subway..not too too too bad for lunch on Sat. and two tim horton’s peanut butter cookies for dessert :-(. I literally crave PB and these cookies are insanely delicious! I bought one for my friend and myself and she didn’t eat hers..so who ended up eating it? of course, moi………..b)…..I’m literally DRAINED!… I came home from work last night and had a wonderful two hour nap…wondering if it’s my iron again…really really should get this looked into..I’ve had headaches for the past two weeks straight at work and I know it’s stress related…pretty terrible when I am awake at 430 am thinking of the problems at work :(. C) Again guilt because I have not walked or even done Day 3 of Week 3(C25K)…….two reasons…..1) physcally and mentally exhausted and all I care to do is sleep….2) I know that after this week it’s going to get harder! I have to jog for 5 minutes in a row..which I am finding a little intimidating…I wonder if a part of me is putting it off to prolong the big scary 5 minute jog..also I only found a good podcast for week 4 Sunday night that I have to load on my Ipod…there is NO way I can do it all by keeping track with the timer..too confusing!

I think I am going to do W3D3 tonight………it’s now or never and I hate hate hate quitting things! If I had planned to quit the c25k why did I even bother starting it in the first place????????

So there I’ve laid out all of my reasons for not blogging..out there for the world to see..lol. Also when I am stressed I EAT..finding this so difficult!

7:35 pm…Just home from w3d3……feels amazing as i usually do afterwards…a little harder to get back into because I haven’t done ANY exercise in the past few days..Also the last 3 minute jog of the whole thing I pushed myself further and jogged for an entire 5 minutes! YAY..So I know I can do it without dying because I am still here..lol……….my face was lobster red by the end of it but I did it!!!!!!!!!!!!!..also nervous though because there are TWO 5 minute jogs in the whole run! My problem is that I sit and waste time dwelling over things and worrying…instead I should just get off my ass and get out there and do it…I should be proud of the fact that I am attempting these runs and not worry so much about how ”good” i will be at doing them! Does that make any sense?

I am beyond happy that it’s Friday..this week has been soo hectic that I don’t know if I could manage another few days…thank GOD the director is scheduled to be back on the 15th ( if the Dr. gives her the go ahead) and that means that only one more week of being left in charge..I like the responsibility but because this is such a crazy time of year I find it a little difficult!

So this mornings weigh in…148.0..whoo hoo…I usually weigh myself a few times in a row because sometimes it is different the 2nd time……..and I even saw 147.5 poking out…but it stayed at 148…Thank you lord…..So glad that yesterdays mini binge didn’t effect today’s weigh in and i didn’t gain….Last night before I went to bed I was curious to see how much i weighed and I was 149.5…so I said..”If i wake up tomorrow and it’s MORE than that there’s something wrong!” lol..

Anyways chickies have a wonderful weekend…I’m gonna hang out with my girlfriends..shopping and perhaps a sleepover!LOL

I’ve been dreading blogging tonight………today was an extremely stressful day at work..and i cannot control myself….When I’m stressed I eat…..arghhhhhhhhhhh……ate 3 oatmeal choc chip oatmeal cookies..and 3 tiny slivers of bday cake…….oh my I find that I am constantly thinking of food………..OCD! Seriously all I think of is work or something related to my diet……..I’ve had a headache for about 3 days straight and extreme tiredness…..I am doing 2 peoples jobs at my work..the director’s and the cook’s jobs…also with all the children back to school and figuring all that out (we drive children to and from school)….

I am wondering if I’ve deprived myself for so long that now I have lost all control ???????? And of course here I am beating myself up over today and knowing that my ‘weigh in’ is tomorrow is stressing me out even more ! It’s TOM and I am feeling constantly hungry..I even just ate 2 small tomatoes raw! I feel like I am spiralling out of control!

Today was a good day…finding that I’m constantly hungry though…ate tons of fruit..apple, plum and peach….had oatmeal for lunch and corn bran for breakfast w/ half cup of milk…….leane cuisine for supper w/ a cup of steamed stirfry veggies mixed in….I brought a 5 gm fibre granola bar to work but didn’t eat it because I had to make oatmeal choc. chip cookies……ate two small cookies hoping that in small way to substitute the granola bar that i didn’t eat…..also had a 60 cal. fudgicle for dessert…….sugar is my weakness :-(!

Thinking of doing W2D2 tonight..just to get it out of the way..it’s beautiful outside and the weather here is so unpredictable..could be pouring rain tomorrow…I also don’t feel sore from last night’s run..felt so good afterwards..sooooooo……….

Have a great evening chickadees!

Scale was back UP to 150.5 this morning……TOM so I may be retaining or perhaps because I haven’t ‘used’ the washroom in daysssss..i drink tons of water, eat tons of fruit/veggies..and every grain i eat is whole wheat ( tortillas, bread, pasta, oatmeal..etc….) I don’t know what’s going on inside ??? :-(! I know too much info but it may be affecting my weight!

8:26..Just went outside and did W3D2….oh god I feel so alive and great! The last 3 minute jog I kept going until it was 4 minutes and 35 seconds..whooo hooooo! Sweating like a beast but i did it!! No nauseousness tonight! What a gorgeous evening!