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I feel like I’m having a pity party day. I started feeling that way last night. I keep asking myself what is wrong with me? Maybe it’s because I feel ready to start dating again, but I have absolutely NO idea how to start. I am much more prepared this second time around and know exactly what I am looking for, which I think is going to make it somehow more difficult, not easier. I have already found my perfect man. Unfortunately, he’s already married. I just need science to catch up and clone him :D It’s awful, but I had a dream about him last night. I know, I know, I can’t control my dreams but I feel incredibly guilty when I wake up because HE IS MARRIED! I know it’s just a “school girl crush” thing but I feel so crappy about it! I would never, ever in a MILLION years act on it or let anyone know IRL (not even my best girlfriends!)!!! I guess last night I was just feeling like there must be something wrong with me. My ex left me for someone MUCH older and incredibly unattractive. It really does a number on your self esteem. I’ve been the chubby wife with a pretty face. And his constant negativity towards me for 18 years did not help. I am just having a bad day I guess
Today is another fast day. I feel like I still need to empty out my system and flush out the toxins from anything crappy that I ate! We weren’t able to get our lunch walk in yesterday because neither one of us were feeling well but I will be going today regardless if she’s able to accompany me. My brain and heart and emotions are just a mess and I need to walk and have time to think and time to not think…does that even make sense? My period is REALLY doing a number on me this time
Same Me, But Different