Thursday, day 2 1/2 of low carb

8 Mar 2012 In: March 2012

So the meals went well yesterday.  I only craved carbs a little…it wasn’t overwhelming or anything.  I’m grateful that I actually have been doing relatively lower carbs the past few months anyway since starting my weight loss back last summer because otherwise I think I would have found it to be torturous!

Meals

Breakfast was my sugar free latte and a low carb protein bar

Lunch was a big huge salad with romaine, chicken, cheese, avocado, salsa and sour cream

Dinner was the most delicious cauliflower casserole along side a turkey and cheese plate I made for the kids and myself…there were crackers too (for the girls!)

Snack - I attempted to make a recipe I saw online for a chocolate pudding using cocoa powder and avocado.  I absolutely could NOT eat it…I couldn’t get over it.  Maybe I didn’t make it right but I thought it was disgusting.  I resorted to a sugar free lime jello cup with some whipped cream on top!  That was yummsville!

I had the absolute WORST headache known to man yesterday but I think it’s got to have been a coincidence and not really related to the carb thing.

I still don’t really have the get up and go to start walking again.  I so want to be a runner but I’m not.  I know I’m not and I know I probably never will be.  I haven’t found that exercise that I love, something that will always make me want to get up off the couch!  Guess I need to experiment a little more!!!

I’m here, I’m here!!!

7 Mar 2012 In: March 2012

My fellow chickeroos!  I am so sorry that I have not been around to write any posts…my life has been SO busy.  I feel like I haven’t even had time to sleep, haha!

I’m still on a plateau.  I’m happy to not have gained (not much anyway) but then again, I really haven’t been putting much effort into it either.

I am changing things up a bit.  The past few months I have been trying to still eat as healthy as possible but I admit that I have not been as strict as I should have been.  There have been a few french fry incidents, and maybe some brownies or chocolate chip cookies.  But for the most part, my stomach is still much smaller than it once was so I don’t worry about it all that much.  I had been severely restricting my diet and calories and I’m just fed up with that.  So I am trying a new approach to kick start myself back into losing and that is a low carb(ish) diet without restricing on meats, and veggies.

I went grocery shopping last night and bought some good healthy things to keep around for this type of plan.  I made a great low carb dinner last night.  Chicken breasts topped with a mixture of mayo and parmesan cheese that I baked up in the oven and then some sauteed garlic brussel sprouts and baked pizza zucchini.  It was a veggie palooza around these parts last night :)  I have a friend that’s been doing low carb for a few months and has had great results.  Another friend and I are joining her on this plan and have a good little support group going.  I will be popping in here to record my meals (again!) and for support :)

So far today I have had my sugar free morning coffee and a high protein low carb bar for breakfast.  I was running late or I would have had 2 eggs for breakfast.  I made a yummy salad for lunch with romaine, chicken breast, avocado, cheese and salsa and sour cream for the dressing.  Can’t wait for lunch :)))  For dinner I think I will made steak with sauteed onions and mushrooms and top it with goat cheese…and a side of garlic spinach!

I know that I must force myself back into my walking routine but I just have NOT had the motivation.  I could probably break the plateau by just getting back into it, but I have not had time or inclination to get out there.  I wish I could get that mental drive back that was spurring me on all those months ago.  I am confident I will get it back, it will just take time.

I’m off now to catch up on all your blogs :)  Have a great hump day (I’m so looking forward to this weekend already!)

Wednesday and finallllly weighing in

25 Jan 2012 In: January 2012

*editor’s note*  Holy crap I’m so irritated!  I just typed up a huge post and my computer crashed and the whole thing went kaput!  WordPress didn’t even save the draft…I can’t find the post anywhere!!! This second version won’t be near as good :(

Anyway.  I was finally brave enough to step on the scale this morning.  I had been off and on plan ever since a little bit before Christmas and have spent a month celebrating the holiday season.  But I just felt like today was the day that I had to know.  I’ve been so nervous and afraid to find out what I had done to all my progress.  I don’t know why I was so worried.  My clothes fit the same, I look the same.  My last weigh-in before Christmas was 176.  So I step on the scale this morning and it waffles back and forth between 176.5 and 176.  I take the higher number as my official weigh-in.  I’ve essentially been worried over nothing.  1/2 a pound…more likely 1/4 of a pound because the scale wouldn’t settle.  I’m really relieved to see that I was able to maintain which is always the hardest part and why I end up on the lose/gain/lose/gain/lose cycle.  It makes me optimistic.  Now I just have to refocus my efforts back to losing!

The guy, let’s call him Jack, came over Sunday and ended up staying the night.  I was a nervous wreck because essentially I haven’t “slept” with anyone but my ex for the past 20 years!!!  I only slept about 2 hours.  The funniest thing ever though?  Dude walks in his sleep!  He warned me so that I wouldn’t freak out if I saw him but the hilarity of the actual situation is beyond words.  I heard him get up out of bed so I figured he was looking for the bathroom in the dark but he’s trying to walk through the corner so I ask him what he’s doing and get no response.  I get out of bed and grab his arm to steer him towards the hall and he tells me to stop scaring him.  Now I’m laughing because I realize he’s asleep.  I get him into the hall and turn on the bathroom light and go back to bed.  Next thing I know he’s going out into the garage.  I get out of bed laughing my ass off because it’s just so damn funny.  Here’s this naked guy sleep walking in my house…let that sink into your brain for a moment!  I manage to get him to the bathroom and then wait and walk him back to bed.  The funniest part is that in the morning he had absolutely no memory of any of this.  It was the funniest thing ever :) If nothing else, I have a GREAT story haha!

We actually had plans for dinner, drinks and a DVD last night but he has the fetching flu!  Great.  I will probably be coming down with it in a day or two.  Ugh!  I will keep you all updated!

I got dinner for tonight made last night since my plans were cancelled.  White bean, Turkey, Pumpkin & Green Chile Chili!  All I had to do this morning was turn on the crock pot :) I love those days!  I will serve it with some diced avocado and light sour cream…YUM!

Have a great day fellow chickeroos!

Weekend Update starring andly

20 Jan 2012 In: January 2012

This has seriously been the craziest, busiest week at work in the year and a half I’ve been here.  I wish that I had more time to get on here and post because it really keeps me grounded in my health and weight loss goals.

I had a great food day yesterday.  I haven’t been able to take much in the way of a lunch break this week because of the aforementioned busy-ness but I have had 2 clementines and a protein bar everyday for lunch.  I tend not to cook dinner for myself when the girls are at their dad’s house but last night I did make a turkey burger for dinner and had a couple of baked Dorito’s and a giant glass of iced Crystal Light.  It felt good to eat a meal.  Usually when the kids are gone I eat either a yogurt or a bite of whatever left overs are in the fridge or a frozen “diet” entree of some kind.  The night before I did make 2 scrambled eggs and had them with a bit of leftover shredded buffalo chicken and it was fantastic.  I’m still on a tight catch-up budget because of Christmas so I haven’t been spending really anything on groceries.

For those curious and wanting an update on last weekend I give you the following.  The young cutie called me the following night really late wanting to meet up again but I told him no because 1) I was already sound asleep and 2) I had my girls at home with me.  We spent the better part of Sunday and Monday texting back and forth.  We only text maybe once on Tuesday and that has been it until yesterday afternoon when he sent me a text apologizing for not having been in touch the past few days.  He’s been busy trying to catch up, on what I don’t know, but I’m assuming school work (haha!) and that maybe we could hang out this weekend and watch the game or get a drink or something.  I figured the entire thing for a one night stand so I was pretty shocked.  It’s still definitely just a “fun” thing.  He’s a good kid, very nice and polite, fun, charming, intelligent and absolutely adorable but so very young!  As for my friend, well, she ended up going home with the guy friend that we went all the way to Timbuktu to see that night after I left the bar with the “guy in the red hat” (apparently that’s what I was calling him most of the night because I couldn’t remember his name).  Both the kid and I thought that the guy was completely smitten with my friend but it turns out he was just a total player.  This guy asked her out on a date 6 months ago and so after she slept with him that night she text him the next afternoon asking him when they were going to go on that date and he replied with “Let’s leave it at one night of fun”.  I was actually shocked because I really did think he was crushing on her but no, just a bar-crawling hook-up player!  She was pissed off, but then again, she did sleep with him that night so…!  I had absolutely no expectations other than one night of fun so for me it’s all bonus if we hang out again or even become friends.

That’s all for Weekend Update I’m andly Goodnight!

After divorce party girl

17 Jan 2012 In: January 2012

*WARNING* This post is rated R.  If you don’t want to hear about me being crazy and drunk and hooking up with a guy then keep moving to the next blog*

OK, so I was a hermit throughout my marriage.  Not by my choice mind you.  My ex-husband was a homebody, couch potato.  He left the house to go to work, to go to the gym and that was pretty much it.  Very few exceptions, maybe once every 2-3 months a movie, but normally we sat around and watched TV.  (No wonder I am here trying to lose weight!)

Now that I’m free and single, I so thoroughly enjoy going out with my girlfriends every once in awhile for a cocktail or a movie.  Last weekend was just such an occasion.  My friend’s boyfriend broke up with her last week and I was trying to make her feel better by taking her out for a drink or two.  Her marriage ended at the same time as mine.  I have only been on 2 first dates in that time frame.  She has been with a couple different one night stands and just came out of a 6 month relationship.  If you can’t tell, she absolutely does not like being alone.  I jokingly have nicknamed her the female Jerry Maguire.  So after a beer or two at a bar close to both our homes, a guy that had asked her out back several months ago when she was beginning her relationship with break-up guy, text her and asked us to come meet him.  She begged me to go.  I did not want to.  It was a trendy bar clear on the other side of town.  But I was trying to cheer her up so I went along.  We both ended up drinking WAY too much and neither of us had eaten anything that day so we were fairly drunk.  I don’t know when or how but next thing I know I’m making out with a guy.  The next morning as we were talking, we realized that neither of us recall meeting.  All I know is that a cute young guy took me home and I had sex for the first time since before my separation.  It’s been 3 years people!!!  And when I say young, I mean young!  He’s 23…I’m 39.  He’s closer in age to my youngest daughter than he is to me!  I don’t care either.  I’m allowed 1 crazy passionate night right???  One night stand or not, I had the best weekend ever :)))

I did not eat on Friday or Saturday which I know isn’t healthy but at least it made up for the amount of calories I drank.

I’ve been walking every day at lunch and I’m so happy about it.  I am guaranteed to get in 30 minutes of exercise at least 3 times a week.  (Sometimes work is just too busy for me to leave, but I try to anyway if for nothing else but stress relief!)

Cheers party people!

Links!

11 Jan 2012 In: January 2012

I love seeing new people here :)  I like making new friends and encouraging others who are going down this crazy, difficult, challenging, rewarding road with me.  If you are new, please, please, link your blog in your comment so I can stop by and say hello!

I feel like I’m having a pity party day.  I started feeling that way last night.  I keep asking myself what is wrong with me?  Maybe it’s because I feel ready to start dating again, but I have absolutely NO idea how to start.  I am much more prepared this second time around and know exactly what I am looking for, which I think is going to make it somehow more difficult, not easier.  I have already found my perfect man.  Unfortunately, he’s already married.  I just need science to catch up and clone him :D  It’s awful, but I had a dream about him last night.  I know, I know, I can’t control my dreams but I feel incredibly guilty when I wake up because HE IS MARRIED!  I know it’s just a “school girl crush” thing but I feel so crappy about it!  I would never, ever in a MILLION years act on it or let anyone know IRL (not even my best girlfriends!)!!!  I guess last night I was just feeling like there must be something wrong with me.  My ex left me for someone MUCH older and incredibly unattractive.  It really does a number on your self esteem.  I’ve been the chubby wife with a pretty face.  And his constant negativity towards me for 18 years did not help.  I am just having a bad day I guess :(

Today is another fast day.  I feel like I still need to empty out my system and flush out the toxins from anything crappy that I ate!  We weren’t able to get our lunch walk in yesterday because neither one of us were feeling well but I will be going today regardless if she’s able to accompany me.  My brain and heart and emotions are just a mess and I need to walk and have time to think and time to not think…does that even make sense?  My period is REALLY doing a number on me this time :(

I really hate this

10 Jan 2012 In: January 2012

TOM.  I must be having an unusually heavy one this month.  I am dying of cramps :(  Plus, I never get “period cravings” but boy this time I have!  I have done very well and kept myself in check but that doesn’t make the craving any less intense.  I had a few nibbles of some chocolate peanut butter treats last night to tide me over and that seemed to help.

We had a great big salad last night with beans and turkey meat in it.  I made individual serving sized pizza cups for dinner also. That way the kids could each choose the toppings for their individual cups.  I had turkey pepperoni and olives on mine.  I ate half my serving last night and brought half today for lunch at work.  I usually do something like that.  I hate having to think of something to bring for lunch so I will usually wrap up half my dinner to take the next day :)  It saves me calories and makes my life a little easier too!

My oldest brought me a delicious coffee today at work :)  She works at Dunkin’ and gets free coffee so she will occasionally get something for her mama, she’s such a good girl!  She works just around the corner from my office so it’s pretty convenient.  Iced coffee with a splash of skim milk and sugar free caramel!  Mmmm, can you say delicious???

I went to the movies with a friend over the weekend.  We saw The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.  My friend didn’t read the books or see the original Swedish films (I did) so she had no idea what to expect.  I thought it was brilliant…very much like the Swedish version, which seemed like a book walked into real life!  It really is one of the only book to movies that seemed like you were watching the book unfold in front of you.  I don’t know if it is because the book was that brilliant or if the movie was made so well.  Hmm that’s an interesting question!!!  She had a jumbo popcorn with butter and I only had a Coke Zero (my favorite :D )  I think if I can make a better choice at least once a day then I am on the right track!

Friday

6 Jan 2012 In: January 2012

Last night I felt as if I was getting the flu.  You know that achy feeling you get before or while you have the flu?  That’s kind of how I was feeling.  My back was stiff, my hips, knees, thighs…everything just ached.  I was worried when I woke up this morning, assuming I would be sick.  But I wasn’t.  I’m not.  I’m still really achy and sore though.  And it’s not like workout sore, it’s definitely sick sore.  Hmm.

Onto today.  Work has been crazy busy until right now.  There is an hour and half left in my work day and I will probably do nothing the rest of the day, it’s just dead.  I wish the boss would let us close down shop…he could still pay us (because he’s paying us anyway) but if the building is shut down at least we aren’t wasting electricity and so forth.

I went on my lunch time walk with my co-worker.  It was great to be outside and moving.  We went for 30 minutes exactly.  There is a smallish hill that we go over both directions so that makes it more of a workout than just a stroll.  We were walking at a brisk pace and it was great :)  I’m hoping we will do this at least 3 times a week.  I brought my old workout shoes (yay, new ones for Christmas…thanks sis!) to keep under my desk so I can change into them any day and head out the door.  It was a great stress relief.

I hope you all have a great weekend!  Be back with a post on Monday :)))

Here we go

5 Jan 2012 In: January 2012

I woke up this morning just feeling it.  Do you know what I mean?  I came here yesterday and posted hoping to pump myself up into really feeling it again.  Last night at home…still wasn’t feeling it.  I had a very reasonable dinner, a very small portion of angel hair pasta (probably a loosely filled cup) topped with some leftover homemade sauce that I made with turkey sausage and turkey pepperoni.  I was feeling OK, like I could do this again (I say that like it’s been months since I was completely on plan and like I went face first into the deep end of a vat of chocolate, which I didn’t!  But somehow, that’s the way I feel!) and be on plan all the time and stop eating by 7pm…and then the munchies struck.  I nibbled my way through the next hour or so.  Gah.

But today, when I woke up, I just felt like I was back in that zone.  I decided that I needed to do a fast.  I have typically been doing about 1 24 hour fast per week, occasionally more or longer and I haven’t for the past 2, almost 3 weeks.  I feel like my body needs that right now.  I like the clean feeling I have after I fast.  I feel energized.  This is going to be one of my hardest fasts because now I’m back to feeling hunger pains more often because I had been eating more often.

One of the ladies in my office decided that we need to do 30 minute walks on our lunch break now, which I think is fantastic.  I’m going to bring my shoes tomorrow and off we shall go!  It’s really hot here right now (for winter).  We have the AC running at work as I am typing this and it’s set to about 72 so it’s probably close to 80 out!  It’s nuts!!!  I will probably bring a trashy t shirt to change into also so my work shirt doesn’t get all stinky!!!  And I need to remember deoderant too!  I’m really excited :)

Today was rent day and that is so depressing.  Now I just have to figure out which of my remaining bills I am going to pay :(  I will be feeling the effects of Christmas until March I believe, yuck!  I have been seriously contemplating getting a second job for a few nights a week or the weekends.  I don’t want to, obviously, but I desperately need the money.

The end of the Holi-daze!

4 Jan 2012 In: January 2012

I’m a mess.  With all the holiday days off, vacation days, long weekends, kids not in school, junk food, alcohol, staying up late, sleeping in…I feel completely out of sorts!  I haven’t weighed in yet either.  I’m kind of scared honestly.  It’s not that I went insanely crazy but I did let myself indulge a bit.  I figure that if I can’t enjoy the holidays, what is the whole point of this journey?

I’m going to be getting 100% back on track.  I realize that despite my knee pain I have to start doing SOMETHING again.  I am saving for an elliptical trainer.  I have seen a fairly decent one for around $400 at the sporting good store and I really REALLY want it.  I have NO idea how long it’s going to take me to save this money, I think I’m going to list a few more things for sale on craigslist to help me get there faster.

Christmas:

My girls absolutely loved their gifts and were very surprised at what I was able to save for and get them.  They bought me a new blouse and a new tank top with a sweater jacket.  The blouse is a large and the tank is a large and the sweater is a medium.  I kind of freaked out when I saw the sizes (and said to the girls “Wow these are awfully small looking” to which they replied “well, you are smaller now Mama”) because I NEVER, never EVER have worn anything smaller than a large.  Even when I was pretty small because I am super busty, I always have been.  But the sweater actually fit (color me SHOCKED!).  The blouse in a large is a bit snug on my “girls” but not uncomfortably or noticeably so.  Maybe it just fits and I’m not used to that, haha!  They also got me a new purse which I need to switch over into tonight.  I’ve been putting off the switch because that means I have to clean out my purse YIKES.  I tend to be a junk magnet in my purse.  I know for a fact that I have a few plastic spoons in there, my camera, my old cell phone, a stack of paper about 3 inches thick, probably $3 in loose change (iced tea money!!!)  My youngest picked up my purse yesterday and said “Good grief Mama what’s in here, it’s so heavy!”

Food:

I feel like even though I ate some crappy items during my holiday I still ate better than I would have in the past.  My littlest absolutely adores Buffalo Wild Wings, which if you don’t have one near you is just a wing restaurant.  So I took her out a few days after Christmas because we had a coupon for some free wings.  I ate my wings, 5 medium, and a few (maybe 15 pickle chips - the serving size was HUGE, like probably 2 full cups or more even of fried pickle pieces!) fried pickle chips (at the urging of my cousin who thinks they are Ah-Mazing!)  In my prior eating life, I would have probably ordered 10 wings and eaten the entire serving of fried pickles plus either an order of fries or onion rings to go with.  I also on NYE made a breakfast cake.  I used a box of butter pecan cake mix and mixed it with a can of pumpkin puree and made a crumble topping.  I used less butter than the recipe calls for and I used a lot of whole oats and nuts, pecans and almonds, for the extra fiber and protein.  I feel like I made better choices and I guess that’s all that matters, aside from my NYE night home alone, 6 chocolate chip cookies and 1/2 cup of (light) ice cream!  GAH, never again!!!  I only drank alcohol once during the holidays.  On Christmas night after I dropped the girls back off with their father and went back to my parents house for Christmas dinner.  It started out innocent enough.  I adore Captain Morgan Lime Bite Rum so I had a lime bite and coke zero.  Then my brother in law decided that I needed a refill (in which he doubled the rum!) By the time dinner was over I had probably had about 5 shots worth of rum and knew that there was NO way I’d be able to make it home and decided I would just sleep over at my parents house so I poured myself another…after that I don’t remember anything.  I woke up on the day after Christmas not knowing where the heck I was.  And by the time I drove home I was SO sick that I completely lost everything I ate on Christmas night (probably not a totally bad thing!!!)  But I was absolutely worthless that day.  I did NOT get off the couch.  I won’t be drinking any time soon!!!

Here’s to being back on track :)