Healthy ME????

Okay, so since I’m moving to Korea for a year and certainly not planning on driving since I’ll be living in a city with good public transportation, I’ve been wanting to go on one last road trip before I leave. Well, I wasn’t actually planning on doing it.  I had to drive out to Lubbock today to pick up my brother from Tech.

It just goes to show that there are 2 sides to ever story.  My parents said they wondered why he couldn’t stay. (There were some problems with his financial aid and the emergency loan wasn’t enough and they couldn’t process it quick enough so he couldn’t start classes so he has to come back home And his car died only 20 minutes out of town :(  Okay, well I now know from my brother that the parents refused to cosign his loan that could have kept him in classes. I can’t believe they were complaining about him not working out the funds when they refuse to really help him. So wrong. This is my break from Capstone right now (final exams to get my Masters) and I really didn’t need to leave Dallas today, like totally not since I’m behind on writing the essays and was counting on having all of today to work on them. Now they are all started and are due 12 on Monday and someone agreed to look them over tomorrow, but she won’t be able to since I can’t finish them by the time I go into work. It’s just so frustrating. I don’t blame bro. I’m more likely to brain my jobless, but not carless sister, Mary who refused to go because she  didn’t want to.

What sort of sibling knows another one is in need and says, nah, I can’t because my husband says I can’t. Seriously, he’s under her thumb, not the other way around.  I’m just so mad at her and frustrated and actually a bit ready to wash my hands of anything to do with her. This is a sister who’s new mother in law sent everyone in my family curse-filled emails threatening us if we ever contacted Mary again. When wee showed them to Mary, she said her mil was simply upset and didn’t mean it.  The thing is that I don’t think Mary really wants us in her life right now. We try to invite her over or out to eat or the movies, but she almost never says yes. I think I saw her 2 times in the past 6 months(yes, no Christmas, they picked up the presents in January), Thanksgiving and a few weeks ago for my other sister’s son’s b-day.  Well, I’ve never been as close to Mary as I’ve been to my other sisters. I guess we are 2 very different people. When I would want to be outside playing games, she would be inside talking to the adults and hugging everything and throwing tantrums if she didn’t get enough attention.  Middle child syndrome I suppose.  :sigh:Well she’s certainly getting enough attention from her current family. I wonder if it will ever be enough. 

I suppose she could be avoiding our side of the family because during the b-day celebrations of a couple of weeks ago we finally confronted her about the emails her mil sent out almost a year ago. It was something we wanted to ask her about for awhile, but were kinda afriad to. That family is unstable. They’re all on meds and sometimes really don’t seem to be taking them.  I really hope they don’t have kids.  I’m just so angry at her right now for saying no to the drive.  You see, she said yes when I called and talked to her, but said she needed ‘approval from her hubby’. Then we called her and she said no and gave several excuses, cost, not wanting to use her car, someone to go with her, etc. We came up with solutions to all of them. Taking my car, another sister going with her, getting the parent’s credit card, etc. Eventually she just said no.  I know that no good can come from calling her up and calling her a horrible person, but I SO want to do that. Really, really want to call or email and ask her when she divorced herself from our family and why doesn’ just make the divorce final so we never have to speak her name again and can ignore her.

Alright, so that might be better for me, but not for my parents. They still love her. I feel less for her at them time, then I do for several of my coworkers that I only midly like. I mean, the girl who comes in to take the trash out and always says hi and how are you I like more than her.  I used to say I love my family and all of them, but when I really think about Mary, I can’t feel much love, just some disappointment and frustration. I only wish it didn’t hurt my parents so much to see what’s she’s doing with her life. She’s an ablebodied woman who is living with her hubby without a job or going to school. Now the hubby doesn’t have a job either and they live off the govt and his parents since they are happy to support the ‘kids’ in whatever.

In any case,  I really do not want to see her before I leave or talk to her because I know if I see her I will say something I’ll regret and I don’t want to make the rest of the family choose sides.  I mean, I have enough family that I can ignore her and her hubby at family get togethers without it being too noticeble. You see, I’m the one who calls and invites people to family functions. I also remind people of them in advance and help organize them. Seriously, I call all my siblings at least once a week whetherr they answer or not. Okay I lie, Mary doesn’t get many calls any more. I just don’t have timet to talk to an answering machine and don’t really have anything to say to her. So I’m organizing a family dinner to say goodbye to me (wells somebady’s got to do it) and I’m inviting some cousins, aunts uncles, siblings, the gparents, and stuff, but I really don’t want to invite her and was going to invite her anyway in the interests of family, but I really don’t think I care enough about her to want her to be there and this is MY going away dinner and she and her hubby are just not invited. I guess I just won’t speak to them if they do cross my path in the next few weeks. I really have nothing constructive to say and do not want to create any further divisions in the family.

Wow, more came out there then I expected. Um, yeah, so the road trip was cool and I ate a lot of really bad for me stuff including McDonalds bfast burrito with hash brown, sonic chicken fried steak sandwich with onion rings, some caramel flavored bugles, strawberry poptarts, gummi worms, Reeces Peanut butter cups, rice crispies treats, and soda(diet). I mean, this was a fun and highly calorie-filled day. Wow, I need to do a lot better today. I guess my excusee for the road trip was staying I awake. I found out at 11:30 last night that I had to do it and drove from 5:30am-12:30 and road from 1-6:30pm. It was an interesting drive through West Texas and probably a fitting drive for my last road trip before Korea.

Posted on February 8th, 2008 by anabolina
Filed under: General, food plan