So far this week, my food intake has been… mediocre.  I am really struggling to get back on the health wagon.  I was doing well Monday, until I allowed myself to get too hungry, and ended up practically binging.  Not good.  Tuesday, I was having a stellar day, and then my super-sweet hubby surprised me by showing up at work!  …With ice cream.  I’d never ever criticize, as it was a really sweet thing to do, and he doesn’t do that often at all.  So I ate it (and enjoyed every bite, thankyouverymuch).

Today has been my best day yet, although the lowfat strawberry Pop Tarts did get a hold of me about 4pm.  I am having trouble with the mid-afternoon munchies.  I really need to work hard at surrounding myself with healthy snacks so I won’t blow my whole day in a 20-minute period, nor give myself a nervous breakdown trying to ignore the pangs.

Tomorrow is a new day!

Tonight I had a heavy dinner of nachos (albeit made lowfat in every way possible).  It served two purposes: to get rid of some chips we had in the house, and to be a grand finale to the weight gain I have put myself through in the past year or so.  I refuse to start a “diet” on a Monday - and I’m not.  After all, this is no diet.  I’m finally getting my head back in the game of being healthy.  I deserve to look as good outside as I feel inside.

Anyway, for dinner I had a small layer of Tostitos Baked Scoops (about 2g fat), a good size dollop of fat-free refried beans (0g), probably two tablespoons of ground buffalo, which has 1/4 the fat of beef (3g), about 1/4 cup of Tostitos cheese (9g), fresh tomatoes (0g), fresh red onion (0g), and a couple tablespoons of fat-free sour cream (0g).  A big plate of nachos for around 14g fat isn’t too bad.  Sure, it was still a calorie bomb and a salt bomb, but at least it wasn’t as bad as it could have been.

I’m going to honestly document this meal and that’ll be my strategy for the next few days: to get back into the habit of documenting EVERYTHING I eat.  By doing that, I’ll not only learn exactly how many calories and fat grams I’m consuming, I’ll also force myself to be accountable for my choices.  I’m not saying my eating will be 100% on track starting on any particular day, but I really feel strongly that this is the first step to getting healthy again.

One of the ladies on 3FC, in her “journey” story, said the following: “Enjoy the journey. Celebrate each and every day God gives you. Love yourself to do whatever it takes to succeed.”  I’ve printed those thoughts out and they will be pasted on the bottom of my monitor, to help me remember why I’m doing this.  Maybe I’ll tape one to the center of the steering wheel in my truck, too.  (If the airbag goes off, it’ll get printed on my forehead and then I’ll REALLY remember!!!

Off I go.  Goodnight.

This weekend I have had an epiphany… again.

It’s time to get healthy… again.

I know I can do it, because I did it before.  I just have to DO it.  I worry about things that I know I will use as excuses.  It is ridiculously hot outside and I can’t comfortably exercise like I would like to.  This summer has been a waste in terms of being able to ride my bicycle - too hot and smoky!  I have been avoiding indoor exercise as well, not because I don’t want to exercise, but because I overheat inside too when it’s this warm out.  Maybe I need to bite the bullet and join a gym.  Perhaps I should stop by the one near my work in the afternoon and see if it’s air conditioned.

At any rate, even if I only start with getting my food intake under control for now, that’s what I’ll do.  I know that my body is a machine and I only get out what I put in.  If I insert junk, I get junk back.  It’s time to stop expecting this problem to solve itself and start taking an active role.

Wish me luck!!