Happy New Year

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I thought I would start off the new year with a fervent wish to hit 125 by my 30th birthday. Any number below 125 will be a bonus ).  I have about 4 months and a bit before that momentous occasion, and I am optimistic (ish). I just have to remember the three M’s: (a) moderation, (b) motivation and (c) meaning.

Moderation: I am hoping that I can be moderate in my food consumption. I don’t have to give up everything I love, nor do I have to sabotage myself when I do have a bad day. I have to remember that it’s ok to have a little bit of everything, as long as I make sure it’s not in excess. Within points. Within reason.

Motivation: This is the hardest thing for me, I think. Staying motivated in the face of adversity, remembering that a little goes  a long way, maintaining a healthy attitude towards weight loss - these are things that don’t come very easily to me. And I definitely find it very hard to sustain any momentum I gain from my motivated “jumpstarts”. This year, I hope I can continually approach each day with a renewed faith, dedication and optimism.

Meaning: This is rather obscure, but I needed another “M” word :) Essentially what I mean is that I’m doing this for a reason. Weight loss has a special significance - losing weight will give me the confidence I need to tackle my other issues. It won’t solve anything, but that bit of self confidence is something I need. The process of losing weight is also making me realize what issues I do have, it’s also teaching me what I have to do, and it’s making me learn the value of things and people. I’m discovering myself, every day. And I hope to always remember that to me weight loss means learning to appreciate the hard work that goes into taking care of yourself, and that I can finally prove that I do believe I’m worth that.

Here’s to a wonderful 2009 for us all.

‘To wish you were someone else is to waste the person you are.’

Filed Under goals | 1351 Comments

Week One at weight watchers, and I’m down 1.4 lbs. I have a confession though: I did NOT write down all that I ate. I wanted to, believe me, but I could not bring myself to write down every single extra bite I put into my mouth.
I did go to Yoga though. Once. And kickboxing. Once. Thank god for small mercies.

The topic was “Managing Our Thoughts”. One lady brought up how she feels dejected everytime she realizes that she “will never eat like a normal person again”, not if she wants to lose the weight and maintain that weight loss.

That same feeling of bitterness overwhelms me sometimes. There are people out there struggling with their weight, but I’ll only notice the ones who can seemingly eat 2 cheeseburgers with extra large fries, and not gain weight. Or the ones who like eating steamed broccoli for lunch. The ones who can lose weight easily. The ones who dont’ gain weight easily. And I’ll somehow think that I should be like them. That’s the way I should be, that’s the normal way, that’s the right way.

This tendency I have of always assuming that other people’s lives are better, easier, nicer - preferable - must stop. I am well aware of my “Grass is Greener” syndrom. I just wish I knew how to turn that (the rose light glow I put on others)  onto me.

Do you know what you’re eating?

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I went to the Sparkpeople website today and signed up. Again. I do think that, despite my hitherto inability to stick to it, that Sparkpeople is one of the best websites out there. And best of all, it’s free!
Anyway, one of the first questions Sparkpeople asks is “Do you know what you’re eating?”

The idea is to be accountable for what you eat by tracking every bite :) It’s probably the hardest thing for me because (a) it means that I have to be honest about every morsel of food that passes through my lips, and (b) it’s just such a lot of work for someone who procrastinates… I put off journaling until later, by which point I either forget what I ate or grossly misrepresent the amount (I suffer from delusion). I think, “Surely I only ate a handful of the popcorn chicken”.

As I mentioned in a previous post, I also don’t make healthy choices. I eat carbs. Pure and simple. I love carbs in the refined form. White bread, white pasta, white rice. Potatoes. Sugar.  Ice Cream. Soda. The delicious stuff…

I also don’t make healthy choices in terms of timing. I eat after 8 pm. I often forget to eat breakfast. Sometimes I eat dinner at 5. Then I’m hungry again at 10, and will eat again.  However, I plan on making small changes for now. Starting today, I will limit myself to 3 cans of soda  a week. That’s doable, isn’t it?

‘Cheers to a New Year and another chance for us to get it right’ ~ Oprah

Filed Under goals, motivation | 335 Comments

Happy New Year! I rang in the new year in Shanghai, China !

 China was extraordinary. The cultural shock notwithstanding, I had fun traipsing through the thousands of years of history of Beijing, Xi’an and Shanghai. One of the oldest civilizations in the world, and its people have somehow perfected the art of eating a carb-heavy diet and still retain some of the thinnest figures around. Remember my gorgeous friend who gets all the guys? Well she was still gorgeous in China, but the weirdest thing was - she was considered a “large” size ! Holy crapola - i didn’t even dare pick up something to try on,  not wanting the saleswoman to screech - “you no small! you large-a size” the way she did at my friend. In my case, the poor saleswoman would probably have had a heart attack, since I don’t think stores in China carry anything that goes past a US size 2. Even their XL would have been snug on me, and I’m a size 4/6 now.

Haha, well the food was great - the travels wonderful, but I’m glad to be back. It’s time to take Project Aino to the next level. Kick it up a notch. Or two. Even though I know it’s cliche to make resolutions come January,  I must make them. If I want to see the change,and feel the change I desperately whine about in this blog then I must write down my goals , if you will (I like to think of it as THE PLAN) . So without further adieu:

Be more active.

To that effect, I signed up for a 5K in February and a relay in April. The relay will  be 199 miles of running divided among a group of 12. The distance depends on the level of the course you run, so a runner could run anyway from 15-20 miles. Definitely harder than the half marathon but sounds like more fun too! The 5K in February will be a precursor.

Like myself.

I will never be as pretty as Angelina Jolie. But I have to remind myself “So what?”. I have to stop feeling so insecure about my looks, and just enjoy myself. For every time a person compliments other people in front of me, ignores me or compares me and finds me lacking, I’ll have to tell myself that it’s ok. It’s their taste, and their judgment. It doesn’t have anything to do with me. Hey people may always love tiramisu, but most times plain vanilla is awesome too ! :)

Blog more often.

Self-explanatory really but the idea is to be more accountable to you. Do I make the right decisions daily? Do I have the right attitude for weight loss - and more importantly, the right reasons for weight loss? Do I maintain my selfrespect and my self worth? Blogging is a great way to be grounded, to track my progress, to vocalize my fears/accomplishments and to garner support in my journey. I must take full advantage of this wonderful resource! :)

Here’s to a better, healthier 2008 you all!

Filed Under Discouraged moments, goals, motivation | 149 Comments

Thanksgiving, two root canals, three fillings, traveling to Toronto, Vegas and San Diego and finishing my run have all had effects on me: I am now 2 lbs heavier than I was in October, and haven’t exercised for about 2.5 weeks. Hmm….seeing a pattern? I am already sluggish again. I need to remotivate and rejuvenate myself asap!!!

Why is it so easy to slide back to old bad habits of eating and not exercising? I mean, why can’t I just do 20/30 minutes of walking a day, just until I’m ready to kick it up a notch. At least I’ll be getting some exercise…

Ok, that’s it! I cannot end the year heavier than my 125. I was 126.8 this morning. I’m going to sign up for a 5 or a 10K to ease my self into running again, and have a goal to work towards. I think I’ve realized how lazy I am, and how I always need something to work towards because when I don’t - I’m easily persuaded to delude myself into thinking that I can procrastinate some more!

Filed Under goals, motivation | 4107 Comments

Without any further ado, here are my top reasons for wanting to lose weight:

  • I will feel better about myself

Having lost 15 lbs, I already notice a change in the way I feel, the way I react and the way others react to me. It’s definitely more positive. But I still have a bit of a way to go.  I’ve noticed an increase in my self-esteem, and I love that feeling. I’ve missed being okay with myself, and  if I can lose the remaining 15 lbs, I’ll be in seventh heaven. It’s something I definitely want to be able to achieve.

  • I will be able to eventually run a FULL marathon!

13.1 miles was a huge accomplishment - something I wouldnt’ have imagined 5 months ago. But in May, I took the plunge and signed up for the Nike half-marathon. When I started running, I was barely able to run half a mile! My next goal: to be able to run the distance of a full marathon, even if I do it on my own.

  • So I can indulge a little bit of my shallow side:

I know this may seem shallow, but I want to be able to experiment with different styles without always worrying about bursting at the seams, too much cleavage, whether or not an outfit camouflages the rolls of fat on my body. I also want to be able to look into a mirror and go “Hmm.. not too shabby” :)