‘Being happy doesn’t mean everything is perfect. It means you have decided to look beyond the imperfections’

Filed Under motivation | 3506 Comments

My best friend emailed me this weekend, and asked what would make me truly happy. She asked me to really narrow down my answer for her, and I thought I had when I wrote the following:

Lose 7 lbs to reach 130 before the end of the year. Which won’t happen in a month  *smile* So I guess that’s one of my “what makes me unhappy” things. Also what makes me happy:

  • * Watching an old movie while having BBQ chicken pizza and coke
  • * Coke makes me really happy - in fact, ice cold ones
  • * Notebooks
  • * Old cheesy songs
  • * Fat babies :)
  • * Hanging out with a fun, non-couple group of friends :) At a quiet, mellow lounge. Or at home, with food, feet on the couch, wine and coke.

I hit send, and then I went “Uh-oh!”. A) Most of what makes me happy involve food, or the consequences of food — i.e. fat babies. B) I started my answer out with a negative thought - i.e. with the premise that what would make me truly happy won’t actually come to fruition. And C)  all of my choices represent a deeper meaning.

The fact of the matter is, I associate food with love, comfort and meaningful relationships. To me, having friends over and eating together is a symbolic manifestation of the bonds of friendships. Friends who are close enough to want to just hang out with you, with no expectations of a formal invitation or entertainment. Old movies and notebooks are awesome in themselves, but I think old movies show my tendency to live in the past. Their reliance on dialogue over special effects, the dapper elegance of its actors over the designer-branded sophistication of today’s stars,  the fact that their characters are rarely without shades of black and white — if you ever see Holiday or the Philadelphia Story, you’ll know what I mean :)  — these things all appeal to my sense of how life should be. New notebooks always give me a sense of power - like a brand new start to my life. And fat babies are just cute. Especially when they’re crawling on the carpet with their diapers on  :)

 

My point is, I think I simplified my answer to my friend.  What will make me truly happy is very basic: I want my meaningful friends around me, spending time with me on a day-to-day basis. I want my life to be filled with love, warmth and laughter. I want a sense of direction in my life that may not set the world on fire, but which will allow me to wake up with a sense of anticipation, and a smile. I want to feel good about myself, and I want to make those around me feel good about themselves. 

A simple wish.

For a simple girl  :)

Keeping my morale up, in any way I can….

Filed Under Discouraged moments, Emotional eating | 5825 Comments

Weight-wise I’m back to where I started when I joined WW. On teh plus side, I’m on Day 10 of my 30 day challenge of running 2miles, or doing 1 hour of a physical activity. So far, I’ve 

  • run 5 days
  • walked 1 day
  • taken step aerobics twice
  • taken cardio bosu once
Which means that I’ve taken one day off - which is right in keeping with my plan :) I’m really sad I’ve gained weight again, but I am pleased that I’m forcing myself ot do something physical every single day… it’s hard motivating myself, but I do it. It doesn’t change the way I look, or the way I feel, except that for the 30 minutes or so after a workout when I feel like I’m distracted enough. 
Negative thoughts are the bane of my existence. I can’t seem to ever stop them, and I wish I knew how. It’s a recurring theme here, in my blog. I feel positive about other people, but I can’t translate that positive energy to my own thoughts, to my own approach to life. I am trying so many different tactics, including telling myself “I am worth it/beautiful/whathave you”, praying, reading self-help books and even agreeing with their mantra, trying to believe. I just hope something shifts in my head soon. 
If I am ever lucky enough to have kids, I will NEVER let them taste soda except as an occasional treat. They’ll drink milk and/or water with every meal. I’ll make them think that even juice is a decadent pleasure to be indulged in on the weekends ;-)  Maybe then they won’t have the pathetic comfort ties with food that I seem to have.