So I went to the store to buy food for my whole week. I was mainly missing fruit and veggies so I decided to buy a variety. Figs, papaya, apples, etc. When I got home I felt a little dizzy and I was super hungry. I decided to eat half a papaya. WAY too much sugar but unlike normal eaters I can’t eat only one cup. My stomach was hurting a little but hey, that has never stopped me, so I attacked the figs. Did I have one or 2 ? Of course not. I ate 12 friggin figs. That’s about 550 calories of figs. And why stop when you’re on a roll ? I had a bowl of won ton soup bigger than my head.
So the day after, regret, shame and realization that my relationship with food is awful. I eat like tomorrow there will be no more figs. My husband told me : chips, ice cream, pasta etc. will all be there forever, but looking great at your friend’s wedding…that’s once in a lifetime. You need to make that decision every single day. You are beautiful to me, but you don’t think you are beautiful and that’s a problem.
He is right. Back on plan now.