Yay almost out of the 200’s

I’m so over being over 200 lbs. Today I am 201… I just can’t wait for the scale to never show me a 200 again whether it’s the morning, evening or night. Losing weight so fast in the first week has been a true blessing that I needed for me not to give up this time around. I already feel 100% times better. It’s silly of me to ever get off good eating habits in the first place.

I’m considering posting my blog somewhere because I feel like nobody reads this section and I need extra motivation. I also decided to only update my ticker when I have lost weight instead of every day. It’s just more motivating for me personally.

It’s hard tonight

I am really happy with what I accomplished up to now. It’s only been a few days but it’s the first time in a long time that I’ve even had the motivation for a couple of days of dieting.

It’s hard tonight to keep focused so I am posting my tracker and going to bed before I eat something I’ll regret. I found a new strategy to avoid impulse eating. When I get really agitated because I want to eat, I look at websites that sell really nice clothes I’d like to wear. It puts me back on track.

So pleased with my results up to now. I had so much water retention but losing all these pounds so fast has motivated me beyond belief…water weight or not !

Back after a year

Well here we go again. I am ashamed to say I haven’t been back in almost a year. With very obvious results of weight gain and still dressed in black pants every single day. As though black pants hide the fact that I am at the fattest I have ever been. A whooping 213 pounds. I will keep it short tonight as I am at the bottom of the bottom. I will read my blog again for motivation and read all the other blogs as well. This blog helped me so much the first time to jump start my diet. I’m certain this time it will make me lose weight even more.

Too long

Well I am shamefully coming back to my blog after falling off the wagon HARD CORE. The diet gods were thankfully on my side and I gained 4 pounds while on break. These past two weeks I went back at it and am now 188. Seeing the 8 is extremely motivating. So here I am and not willing to give up again. My daughter’s baptism is in 3 weeks I want to lose 5 pounds before that. :)

This says it all

Not happy with myself

So it’s been a few days since I’ve written my blog because I was ashamed of my weekend. A disastrous weekend filled with wine, pizza, chicken bites, chips, tortellini…I won’t go on because I am making myself hungry. Needless to say when I stepped on the scale it was at 195. STUPID STUPID me. The worst is that the more I eat, the more I want to eat badly. I find myself fantasizing about huge cheats and daydreaming about food. I mean cookie dough ice cream on top of cookie dough chunks on top of a warm cookie.

So back on plan since Monday (My famous I will start Monday diet). Thank god this morning I am at 192, but I am angry because I could have been should have been in the 180’s this week.

All I can do is keep blogging and stay away from the food that I love. I’m really craving sushi today but I will stick to my salad. This is hard !!!

Here I come 180s

I am so thrilled. I went on the scale this morning and bam ! 191 :) I have two more pounds to go to hit my goal #2 of being in the 180’s. Last night I wanted to cheat so badly, I am happy I resisted. It was definitely worth it this morning.

My husband can be so nice some days and so snarky the next. When I told him I was happy this morning, he replied : When I met you, you would’ve freaked out if you weighed 190.

I know captain obvious but 191 is a progress and I’m losing weight and feeling better about myself so that’s all that should matter ! Men I tell you !

14 pounds

Yay ! I have up to now lost 14 pounds. I am so happy with myself. I know I’m losing fast because it’s baby weight but weight is weight and I am starting to feel like my old self. :) I cannot give up this time, I want to look and feel pretty and girly. I am so excited to be out of the 190’s soon.

Why eat one when I can eat twelve ?

So I went to the store to buy food for my whole week. I was mainly missing fruit and veggies so I decided to buy a variety. Figs, papaya, apples, etc. When I got home I felt a little dizzy and I was super hungry. I decided to eat half a papaya. WAY too much sugar but unlike normal eaters I can’t eat only one cup. My stomach was hurting a little but hey, that has never stopped me, so I attacked the figs. Did I have one or 2 ? Of course not. I ate 12 friggin figs. That’s about 550 calories of figs. And why stop when you’re on a roll ? I had a bowl of won ton soup bigger than my head.

So the day after, regret, shame and realization that my relationship with food is awful. I eat like tomorrow there will be no more figs. My husband told me : chips, ice cream, pasta etc. will all be there forever, but looking great at your friend’s wedding…that’s once in a lifetime. You need to make that decision every single day. You are beautiful to me, but you don’t think you are beautiful and that’s a problem.

He is right. Back on plan now.

Stuck

The scale is stuck at 195. I hate when that happens. 5 days and no movement whatsoever. I’m drinking all my waters which makes me a) cold and b) pee every 5 minutes. I am eating very well. And still not budging. Sooo frustrating. I know I just have to keep going and push through but man it’s hard when the scale doesn’t show results. This weekend has been so hard. I was watching the food network (stupid I know) and then I started getting all these cravings. Thankfully I didn’t succumb but what an inner battle I’m having. I hope tomorrow that for my weekly weigh in I will be at 194.

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