wow i havent written in awhile. been busy, i guess.

today is weigh in day. again, i’m nervous. i was very pleased with 3 pounds last week, but i’m hoping that a good weigh in last week doesnt hurt me this week. i mean, i know it all averages out to steady weight loss, but seeing the scale drop every week is part of what keeps me motivated. i had a good week though, and aside from skipping my work out last night (it was freezing cold and raining/sleeting…i couldnt get myself up to go…no excuses, i know)

anyway. i think i’m going to treat myself to subway after weigh in tonight. actually, i think i’ll see how weigh in goes and then decide if i deserve a “treat” or not. either way, i’m working out afterwards (i’m trying to become a runner — yeah right) and hopefully going to bed early cause i’ve been really tired lately.

not much really to update on, i guess that’s why i havent written in awhile. i’ll post again after this week’s weigh in.

i forgot to mention this in my post this morning…

last night i had an amazing dinner that left me feeling extremely full and satisfied and i thought i would share.

now, let me preface by saying i’m a 23 year old single girl who lives with a roommate, but we have fairly different schedules and don’t ever have dinner at the same time. i don’t really “cook” unless using a microwave counts as cooking. i eat a lean cuisine/smart ones/healthy choice meal almost every night…but i’m trying to start incorporating more into my meals other than just frozen dinners…because really, they get old…and they dont leave me feeling very satisfied when i’m finished.

last night i had one cup of whole wheat pasta with a wedge of laughing cow cheese mixed in with it. i then topped it with one of those individually sized veggie bowl things that you steam in the microwave and 1/2 cup of pasta sauce. it was delicious! and i couldnt finish all of it. and it was nothing fancy…and nothing hard to prepare. it was easy and something different than a lean cuisine meal every night. i liked it so much that i’m making it again tonight. i’m hoping that this “cooking” will inspire me to REALLY cook and start making REAL meals.

down 3 pounds! whew i was excited!

that puts me at 180, with a total weight loss (this time around on weight watchers) of 10.2 pounds! i earned my 5% and another 5 pound star. i could get used to this

HOWEVER. last night after my weigh in, i skipped my workout. i know, bad girl. the past few nights i just havent been sleeping well (or sleeping much at all really) and my whole body is exhausted from going and going and going…so i thought i would take a break and try to get to bed early. (i STILL couldnt sleep though — not sure what’s going on with that, but i dont like it…i just want REST). i’m going to make up for skipping my work out though sometime this weekend. i’ll just make sure to go work out on friday night (or saturday if possible) to make up for it, since i usually take those 2 days off every week.

i’m excited for this weekend. my sister is coming home from college on saturday and she’s like my best friend and i miss her so i’m really pumped to hang out with her for awhile!! it’s kind of a family day…we have a bridal shower to go to saturday morning and then we’re going to eat crawfish (are boiled crawfish bad for you?? i should look it up) and going to a concert saturday night. should be a fun time with family!!! gotta finish up this week first though….

happy thursday!

wow, i’m really nervous today. it’s my weigh in day. and in previous weeks i actually havent been all that nervous. mainly because i wasnt expecting much. this week i have high expectations because i did so well. i have continually done well for 2 straight weeks — no slip ups! i’m pretty proud of this accomplishment, especially after the 10 day birthday detour that i took at the end of january. february has been good and i’m pretty proud of myself. i’m just really hoping that the scale will agree tonight!

i am cravvvvvingggg chili’s right now. chili’s skillet queso…and big mouth burger bites…or the chicken bites…yum yum yum yum. and beer. duh. or a big margarita. and molten chocolate cake for dessert. ok my mouth is beyond watering now so i have to stop. but really. chili’s is one of my favorites….for no reason really, i dont think it’s all that special…it’s just crazy bad for you food that i sometimes seriously crave. i want it so bad. but i’m not gonna do it. it’s not worth it. i’m over it.

ok so random side note. i was just checking my online banking today and noticed that i have more money in my account right now at this time of the month than i usually do. i was pleasantly surprised, but then i started looking through all my charges and everything. and it’s funny HOW MUCH dieting has affected my spending habits.

i mean, i was kind of skeptical when i first started everything just because paying for weight watchers AND a gym membership was going to be a slight burden on my budget every month. but in retrospect, i’m saving so much more money. i go to the grocery store about once a week. every other week is a bigger shopping trip, with the other being just a quick one to replenish some of my weekly food items. but i dont spend as much money on eating out anymore. i dont eat out a lot at all. and not drinking this month has also kept my budget in check. i save SO much money by not going out like i used to (i used to go out at least twice a week…lots of times, three times a week)….i’m saving so much money by not drinking alcohol.

people just always complain that gym memberships are expensive, and weight watchers is expensive…and yeah, it’s another expense…but if i’m saving somewhere else, i can afford the extra expense…so it works out. and keeps me accountable, because if i’m paying for it, i feel like i HAVE to use it to get my money’s worth.

anywayyyy. back to work!

maybe i’ll update again tonight after i weigh in! wish me luck!

long, busy, crazy, EXHAUSTING day today. i didnt have time for anything today, including eating, which made the day even worse because i was cranky and irritable. i survived today on excedrin and diet dr pepper (healthy, huh?) but whatever…it’s finally over.

i worked from 6:30 am to almost 8 pm, without taking a lunch, then went to my weekly bible study with my mom (showed up 30 minutes late…but TOTALLY worth it…i’ll get to that in a minute). now i’m finally home and eating dinner (food that i prepared for lunch and actually heated up in the microwave at work twice with the intentions to eat, but never slowed down long enough to actually eat it…). i’m going to force myself off the couch in about 30 minutes and drag myself to the gym to work out a little bit because my weigh in is tomorrow and ive done well all week…i dont want to slack now.

anyway. although i was late to bible study tonight, i’m so glad that i put forth the effort and rushed there because as soon as i got there i started learning and thinking and coming to a lot of conclusions about things.

one of the points made tonight was that we’re not in this world for long. we have ONE life to live….ONE shot at it. why aren’t we being all that we can be? why am i not being all that i can be? and at bible study of course she was using this in a christian context, but as i was thinking, i kind of began to apply it to my personal goals, my weight loss goals to be specific.

i’ve spent 23 years being fat and overweight. 23 years. more than a quarter of my life probably. we’re not here forever. we get one shot. and i wasted a quarter of my life being somebody that i dont want to be. i dont want to be the fat girl. i never have wanted to be that girl. but i have been. for the past 23 years.

and you know you can turn it around…whenever i’m obsessing over food and exercise and “points” (weight watchers) my dad always says “life’s too short to be stressing so much about that, just enjoy it” (as he takes a bite of cake or whatever)…but you know what, life’s too short to be fat. life’s too short to be somebody that i dont want to be. it’s time for me to wake up and snap out of it and become something more. there is so much more i want to do and be before my time is up…and tonight just kind of put that all into perspective for me. yeah i am only 23 years old, i’m still young…i still (hopefully) have a lot of life left to live…but i dont want to live it like this. i dont want to waste it anymore.

anyway. i guess this has kind of turned into rambling. but a light bulb just kind of went off in my head tonight and it all makes sense now. it won’t happen overnight. but i know what i have to do, and i’m going to do it. it’s time for me to wake up and turn things around

and on that note….at 9:34 on this crazy tuesday night…i’m heading to the gym.

have a good night!

i dont really know what to write about today…but i need to blog to keep myself accountable.

i just watched my alma mater basketball team lose to the number one team in the nation. lammmmmeee. i was so upset because it was such a good game….but i’m slowly getting over it.

i then watched the chinese win the gold and silver medals in pairs figure skating. they are so amazing. like really. i was in awe watching their performances.

now it’s time for keeping up with the kardashians…dont judge me…but my favorite show on tv. dont hate.

it’s been a long day though, time to unwind with some good tv.

work is seriously stressing me out right now. we got an extension on our project…which is good…seeing that it wasn’t done…but bad because i seriously just want it to be OVER and sent out and finished so that i can BREATHE at work for a little bit.

after work i went to my cake decorating class…it was fun. i wasnt great at it, but i still had fun…and i ate a little more icing this weekend while preparing for the class than i would have liked…BUT it doesnt matter, i didnt eat any of the cake and i dont plan to, so it’s fine. anyway. my cake kind of sucked. i wish it had been cuter, but i’ll get better…no big deal!

i worked out for over an hour tonight because i started watching the basketball game at the gym and was waiting for a good time to leave so that i wouldnt miss anything important in the game. so. that was good for my fitness goals i guess

i’m nervous about weighing in on wednesday. i think i get more nervous the weeks that i do well than the weeks that i do badly. on bad weeks, i expect a gain. i walk into my weigh in knowing what’s coming and expecting the worst. on good weeks, i never know. i hope for a loss…but you never know…losses can’t be expected like gains can…there are so many factors that go into it.

ahh. i dont even know.

omg i just realized it’s almost midnight. bedtime for me! 5:45 is going to come early tomorrow…vomit…

Wow. It’s coming…
I may not really be in college anymore, but some of my friends still are…so we’re going on spring break
Meaning…it’s beach time. Or, one month from beach time. Ew.
On the plus side, I have a short term goal: be hardcore on diet and exercise for the next month. This is even more motivation for me to keep up with everything…I have to be in a swimsuit on the beach in one month. I’m ready for it. Or. I will be.
I had weight watchers last night. I lost 3 pounds!!
Before you start congratulating me, let me preface with some weight watchers history.
I just recently rejoined weight watchers, because honestly, I never was as faithful to my weight loss journey as I was when I was going and weighing in at weekly meetings. ANYWAY.
Four weeks ago I rejoined weight watchers, starting at a weight of 190.2 pounds.
First weigh in…184. Down 6.2! Woo! My body was in shock. But a good kind of shock.
Second weigh in…186.2. Up 1.2. Honestly, I didn’t do as well as I did the first week, but also I lost an abnormal amount of weight the first week, so I felt like my body was probably just adjusting…and I was ok with the average 2 pounds or so per week weight loss.
And then I skipped a week. It was my birthday. Not going to lie, I celebrated for probably about 10 days straight. Sushi, stuffed crust pizza, Mexican food (on more than one occasion), steak and mashed potatoes, MARGARITAS (on more than one occasion), and obsessive amounts of alcohol.  Good weight watcher, huh?
But, it’s out of my system now. I’m back on plan, and I’ve lost 3.2 pounds since I’ve been back on plan, putting me at a total weight loss of 7.2 pounds since I rejoined weight watchers. One month. 7.2 pounds. I would have hoped for more, but honestly, with the “break” that I took, I should be thankful that I got that much.
Whew. That’s out there. It’s hard for me to actually type out how much I weigh. Just because I’m mad at myself that I’m here again when I was SO close (close being about 20 pounds) from my goal, and then let myself let it go and let my weight go back up. It’s fine though, I’m working on it now. Better now than never!

oh nightclub cardio. hands down my new FAVORITE thing.

i’ve always loved to dance. i never took classes or anything because i know that really, i’m not any good. but i love to go out and dance. it just makes me happy

anyway. when i saw the sign at my gym for nightclub cardio classes, i was interested, but also kind of nervous. i mean i had worries about doing something new with a bunch of people that i didnt know. however, i conquered my fears and i’m so glad i did because i LOVED IT.

they turned off the lights and had strobe lights going and the music pumping. i was basically in heaven for the whole hour i was there because i got so into it and just had so much fun. and on the plus side, i was actually getting an awesome workout from it. they worked arms and legs and the whole thing was high intensity cardio. i’m always dripping from sweat every time i walk out.

tonight is nightclub cardio night. this will be the fourth class i’ve taken…and i’m excited!!!

PUMPED PUMPED PUMPED PUMPED PUMPED PUMPED PUMPED PUMPED.

happy thursday everyone! it’s a freezing cold, rainy day here…hard to be motivated to do anything, but i have lots of work to do!!!

so i might be the stupidest dieter EVER. a few weeks ago, one of my friends asked if i was interested in taking a cake decorating class with her. i’ve always really wanted to take a class like that and i’ve been looking for some new hobbies to do after work, so we signed up. and the thing is…i’m SO pumped about it. but at the same time. what am i doing?!? am i TRYING to sabotage my weight loss efforts right from the beginning??

our first class was monday night. of course right at 5:30 when i’m about to leave work to rush to the class (that starts at 6), it begins POURING down rain and i get stuck in traffic and have a hard time making it on time…but, i finally make it and the second i walk in, the smell of yummy cake and icing smacks me right in the face and my mouth starts watering. and of course, i’m starving because i havent been home to eat dinner and i just have the image in my head of eating yummy cake. but, of course i dont.

sometimes i think that i should give myself more credit. when i want to, i really do have strong willpower and when my mind is made up, i can stick to it. and i did last night. i mean, there wasnt really any opportunity to eat cake while we were in the class. the true test will come this weekend when i have to do my “homework” and make a 2 layer round cake with icing and bring it to class ready to decorate…i can just see myself licking the spoons and bowls while i prepare it and then devouring the cake as soon as class is over.

i mean, i can definitely see myself doing it…but i’m not going to. my mind it made up. i have a plan. i’m going to chew gum while im cooking so i’m not tempted to induldge in licks of batter and icing here and there…and the cake goes directly to my parents house after class. there are more people there to enjoy it…and if they dont want it, they can throw it out.

i can do it!

ahh tuesdays.

i have always been a firm believer that tuesdays are worse than mondays. mondays are easy. they fly by cause you come in to work and have to get re-acquainted with everything your working on…and you have to talk to your coworkers about their weekends and everything…mondays arent so bad. it’s tuesdays that suck. today will be a sucky, busy day, and i’m not excited about it.

i am, however, looking forward to tonight. tuesday nights i meet up with my mom who lives across town, and we go to this women’s bible study at a local church. it’s something that we did in the fall together, and we started it up again for the spring session. i really enjoy spending this night with my mom. we have a really good time together and it’s a weekly thing that i can count on and look forward to.

i’m feeling skinny already. i really havent been at this for too long (on and off for about a month)…but both last night and this morning, i’ve felt thin. which, i know i’m not (yet) but sometimes it’s nice to at least feel like it. it’s a good motivator.

so far in february i’ve done really well with diet and exercise. i wish i could say that i started jan 1 with a healthy lifestyle, but the truth is, it took me a month to get ready to make the change into healthy living. and january was hard, because it was my birthday…i dont know, i did my best, but now february is here and i’m being hardcore on plan with eating and working out.

one of my goals is no alcohol in february. i dont know if i can do it. so far i’ve made it 9 days without it…only 19 more to go…week days are no big deal. i can do week days. weekends are hard. this past weekend i felt kind of lame because i stayed in on both friday and saturday night because i know that the second i go out with all my friends, i’m going to drink…superbowl sunday was also hard, but i made it through…even after telling myself that i was “allowed” to have ONE beer…i didnt do it, so i was kind of proud. just three weekends to go. these next two weekends shouldnt be TOO hard…but the last weekend in february might be a little bit harder with rodeo season starting here in texas and chili cook offs and concerts…but i think if i can make it through the rest of february without drinking anything, i’ll have the willpower to make it through the last few days….we shall see!!!!