so. i’m obsessed with cereal right now. ive eaten a bowl a day for the past…2 weeks probably. crazy. last week it was special k red berries. this week it’s special k vanilla almond (YUM). so delicious. i just cant get it enough. ive been pretty good tho at limiting myself to one bowl (with only a small splash of fat free milk to go along with it…), except last night i caved and had two…but i had the calories for it, so i gave myself permission i’m going to try to get off this cereal kick soon, but who knows if i’ll be able to…i’m obsessed right now!

i like it when i get so into my diet and exercise. i know that i have the power to control my weight and my body…sometimes i just let my taste buds and my lazyness do the controlling for me…but i feel kind of powerful when i take charge and make good decisions that will affect the way i look and feel about myself.

yesterday i was toying with the idea of whether or not to weigh myself soon…and i think i’ve decided that i’m not going to for awhile. i feel good right now. i feel healthy. i want to keep this up. i dont want a discouraging number on the scale to get me down. eventually i will weigh, and i’ll be good with whatever it says…but honestly, right now i dont care what i weigh. i feel good and i’m proud of myself, and when i feel good, i look good…so who really cares? not me.

i’m doing really well with my diet and exercise right now. i’ve been running on the treadmill the past two nights and it’s safe to say that my legs (and ass) are in serious pain right now…but it’s a “beautiful pain”…my body is changing…hopefully….

diet is going well too. i’ve stuck to my plan so far all week…i decided that next week i may change it up a little bit to get in more fruits and veggies and lean meats…lately i’ve been eating in my calorie range, but i’ve been eating cereal every night for breakfast…which, while good for me…could be better substituted with a salad and grilled chicken or grilled fish and veggies. also i’m going to try to cut back a little more on the processed foods and try to eat “cleaner”. we’ll see how the rest of this week goes though. i just went to the grocery store a couple days ago, so i’ll have to wait until at least sunday to stock up on more healthy food.

i havent weighed myself in awhile and i havent decided yet if that’s good or bad. part of me just wants to be healthy and then weighing myself will be a pleasant surprise whenever i finally decide to do it…but then on the other hand, i need to know if what i’m doing is working or not and probably the best way to measure that is to weigh myself. except…i guess i will also be able to tell by how my clothes fit…maybe i just go with that for now? we’ll see….

time to get to work…today is deadline day!!! we’ll see if it actually gets it done today or not…just waiting on stuff to be approved before i can send it all out…ughhhhhhhh. long dayyyyyyy.

I’m back on the wagon! Yesterday was my first day back to WW eating and working out and let me tell you…it feels GOOD. I feel so much better when I’m taking care of myself. Last night I slept SO good after a day of healthy eating and running on the treadmill and today I have the “beautiful pain” of soreness from running. I hope I remember this feeling because it was so hard to try to run after going so long from not doing it.

This week needs to be good. I need to eat well and exercise. And hopefully I’ll get a chance to lay out by the pool a little bit because it has been GORGEOUS outside lately.

Work has been busy and stressful…but this week is one of our deadlines so after this, all the stress and busy-ness should significantly decrease.

My roommate and BFF is having surgery this week, so she’s off of work on Thursday and Friday and going to her parents house so that her mom can nurse her back to health. Sooooo aside from going to check in on her during my lunch break, I’ll be by myself at the apartment at the end of the week and I have to say that I’m kind of looking forward to it….

It’s nice to have some time to myself sometimes.

Here are my goals for this week:

-work out 5 times

-make my lunch and take it to work everyday (except Friday when we go out – but make healthy choices!!)

-write down everything I eat this week to hold myself accountable

I think I can do it!!!!!

so i’m still not doing well on the diet thing. last night i went to a baseball game and ate chicken fingers with french fries and then we stopped for ice cream on the way home. i suck.

i mean. i guess at LEAST i know i’m doing bad and i feel guilty eating what i’m eating, and i have a plan to get back on track…it just sucks that i keep slipping into unhealthy habits.

this weekend it’s supposed to be gorgeous here. i dont really have plans yet…but i’m predicting a day by the pool and maybe some apartment hunting…

i’m also going to try to workout and go to the grocery store to stock up on “good for me” food. it’s time to get back on track. i HAVE to get back on track. summer is so close….i cant let this downward spiral continue.

i suck at this diet thing.

yesterday was one of my best friends’ birthday…so of course we went out to celebrate. a huge margarita, quesidillas, and countless chips with salsa and queso later….we left and each went our separate ways. I, of course, knowing that i’m going home to an empty apartment where no one will be able to judge me, stop at jack in the box on the way home and got an oreo shake. why? i dont know. i wasnt hungry, but i ate the whole thing anyway…to the point that i was feeling sick. why?? why do i do that?? i was very upset with myself. and today is cinco de mayo…i hope my friends dont want to celebrate more because i need to lay low and maybe celebrate at the gym.

i need my motivation and willpower back. i used to do so well and now….i just cant keep it up.

any suggestions??

so after over a month of a hiatus…i have returned

i actually kind of forgot that i had been blogging…life got interesting and busy and i havent had much time for anything “extra” lately!

so–time for a recap.

spring break was so much fun. we had a blast…i wish we could go back. however, there was a slightly interesting development…i got drunk and made out with one of my best guy friends and then he confessed that he’s into me and has been wanting to make a move for awhile and now things are just DEFINITELY different. he’s graduating from college in a couple weeks and moving back to where i live/where he’s from…i mean…there’s something going on between us, but we arent dating or anything…yet…i’m hoping he’ll make a move once he moves back to town and we can spend more time together. i’m into him. i never thought that i was before…i guess i just didnt really think of him in that way…but now that i do, i’m into him…and i’ve given him the green light…now i just hope he takes the hint and moves forward with it once he graduates…we’ll see!!!!

work has been crazy busy lately, which sucks…but is also good. busy makes the day go by quicker!!! i also got a raise the other day, so i must be doing a good job

my BFF and i are looking to move sometime this summer, so we’ve started “browsing” some apartment options…we want to move closer into town, near where a bunch of our friends live…however, we’ll need to find a sweet deal on something because i dont want to be spending ALL of my money on a nice apartment closer into the city…we’ve made it work this long living right on the outskirts of the city, that if it will save us a couple hundred dollars a month to have to drive in to go out with everyone, it would be worth it to me. does that make sense? i dont know/care.

the diet was stalled for awhile, but i’ve kicked it back into gear. lingering along the same weight…but i’ve been eating better (except for cheating on weekends that needs to stop…) thankfully, i havent slacked at all on exercise…i bought some new exercise clothes the other day so that has give me motivation to get myself to the gym…and it makes me feel good to know that i look cute while i’m there

anyway…i’m hoping to keep this blogging up for awhile now that i’ve remembered that it existed we’ll see how that goes…

happy monday!!!

well. i gained 0.6 at weigh in last night, putting me at 177.6….

i’m not upset. maybe i should be. but with rodeo and birthdays, i’m actually kind of surprised that i didnt do worse. now it’s back to being hardcore…at least until spring break next week…

spring break.

pros.

4 days on the beach.

a great group of friends — 12 of us total…4 of us girls (less girls means less drama…works for me!).

perfect weather.

2 badass condos.

getting a tan.

being drunk for 4 days straight.

cons.

being drunk for 4 days straight.

eating whatever the group decides on.

no exercise.

wearing a swimsuit for 4 days straight.

this is the thing. i’m excited for this time with my friends. we’ve been looking forward to it. in the scheme of things, it’s FOUR DAYS. yes, i will drink a lot. i’m prepared for it…eating actually probably wont be that bad…i tend to eat less when i’m with a big group and when i’m drunk…i just know i dont make good choices when i’m drunk…

it’s fine. we’ll see what happens. i’m not going to stress over it, i’m just going to know that i’ll do the best i can…and when i get back i have to be ready to face the music.

until then. i have to make it through 3 more rodeos without messing up. i can do it. tonight i’m eating a lean cuisine before i go. food out there is so expensive anyway, it’s not even worth it.

my boss is out all week next week — WOOHOOO! i’ll be out thursday and friday, but monday tuesday and wednesday will be pure bliss at work. I CANT FREAKIN WAIT.

happy thursday. i love thursdays.

<3

i’m sucking at the blogging lately. i’m sucking at the diet lately. gosh. let’s recap the past couple days.

so i missed my weigh in last week. not really that big of a deal. i was feeling bloated cause it was TOM and i didnt think i lost any weight anyways. the next day (thursday) i was out of work because i was sick. however, my aunt was in town and pressured me to hang out with her since i didnt go to work so instead of laying in bed and recovering, i went shopping at the outlet mall for a couple hours and then went to the rodeo that night with my whole family. i ate mexican food for lunch and had a turkey bbq sandwich at the rodeo…

friday was back to work even though i wasnt feeling up to it. i ate well though…jason’s deli for lunch and a lean cuisine for dinner. i stayed in and slept while all of my friends went out cause i was feeling like crap.

saturday was back to the rodeo all day with my friends. i had a blast. however, things did not go well for my sickness or my diet. i had….3 beers, chicken tenders and curly fries, 2 deep fried oreos, and 2 vodka/sprites. oops. my cough also worsened throughout the day and by the time we got home at 2 in the morning, i didnt have a voice and my throat was burning from coughing so much.

sunday was recover day. i probably ate a couple too many 100 calorie packs…but for the most part, i ate well. AND i went swimsuit shopping so if that isnt motivation to kick my ass into gear, i dont know what is.

i havent worked out since last monday…exercise makes my coughing worse…and tonight is my BFF’s birthday so i wont be able to tonight either…my goal is to try to work out in the mornings starting this week. ive been waking up early lately…i dont know what my deal is…so might as well take advantage and go work out as long as i’m up….

today it’s time to face the music on the scale. time to get back in the swing of things….ugh….

why is it so hard??? i WANT to do well. i have the motivation to do well. i just cant seem to do it and it’s really starting to get to me….ugh.

i also have the motivation to run lately…but i cant because i cant breathe still…i’m just frustrated all around and i dont know what to do. i’m having a hard time right now…

i have to miss my weigh in today

i’m a little sad…but also, kind of indifferent because my aunt and uncle are in town and i have to meet them all the way across town for dinner…and i’m feeling pretty sickly, so weighing in is like at the very bottom of my list right now. i also dont really feel like i’ve lost any weight this week, so maybe giving myself one more week will result in a bigger loss next week…who knows though…

i feel horrible today. if this keeps up i’m going to have to make a doctor’s appointment and take a sick day tomorrow. i cant be sick…not with rodeo and spring break going on right now…i need to take care of this and get well NOW.

i hate being old with responsibilities. i just want to go home and curl up in bed right now. i’m so achey and tired. ughhhhh.

i lost 3 pounds at weigh in this week!

i’m extremely happy with it. 3 seems to be my lucky number with weight loss lately i’ll take it. i like the momentum that i have right now with losing weight…my fear is just that it’s going to slow down and/or stall completely. i dont know. only time will tell i guess.

i’m starting to feel more confident. at 177, i’ve now lost 13.2 pounds since i first started weight watchers in january. i still have a way to go, but i feel better about my body…and my clothes are starting to fit differently. my goal right now is 169 by our trip over spring break, which is exactly 3 weeks away from yesterday. 8 pounds in 3 weeks. if i keep going at the pace that i’ve been losing, i’ll be able to reach it, no problem. but expecting to lose 3 pounds each week is expecting a lot. i’m going to do my best…and we’ll see!

i think i mentioned in an earlier post that i’m not drinking any alcohol in february. it’s february 25th. ZERO sips of alcohol. i am EXTREMELY proud of myself, and think that this could have a lot to do with my weight loss this month. i go out and drink a lot socially with friends (happy hours, margaritas at dinner, etc) so it was kind of an intimidating goal when i first started trying to cut back on the drinking. but i’ve almost done it, the whole month of february! so i’m proud.

this weekend will be a test though as one of my friends is having a party and everyone around me will be drunk. i’ve learned tho that no one else really cares if i’m drinking or not. if i have a cup in my hand, it looks like i’m participating in the fun, but really i’m getting my daily water in

i know that march will be tougher, which is why i set my original goal for february. march is my best friends’ birthday (which will involve many celebrations, just like there were many celebrations for my birthday), the rodeo (where i cant NOT drink beer…well, i could…we’ll see), and spring break (another one of those situations where EVERYONE around me will not only be drinking, but be drunk). I think i’m just going to have to talk it all day by day and see what happens. i know i’m strong enough to not do it, and the positive effects the not drinking is having on my weight loss is really good motivation to keep not drinking…i dont know we’ll see!

happy thursday everyone!