Back on WW

So I gained 2 lbs, then lost them back. Leaving me at 250, again. I was really feeling like I’d never hit the 240s. I mean, c’mon, how long can it take to lose a few pounds? … A really long time when you keep gaining them back every few weeks. But I finally got on it this week and reached 248.2! I rewarded myself with a couple new tops. Then I tried on the old size 20 jeans from the SpaceBags in my storage closet, and they fit. Double-reward! I have like 8 pairs of jeans from when I was a size 20 before, so fitting into them again is like Christmas come early. Trying to keep it going. Especially going into the holidays. I know if I’m doing well and practicing good habits now, it will be easier to make the right decisions on Thanksgiving and beyond. I won’t want to sabotage all my hard work! I’ll try to actually update next week. Have a good week ladies!

291/248.2/155

I lost 0.8 this week. That’s a mere tenth of a pound shy of the goal I thought I’d easily reach. Ugh. Frustrating. I just want to be in the 240s. But I didn’t put in the work. I started the week pretty well and then got lazy. I haven’t been in the gym since Tuesday. I really don’t want to go today. I NEED to go, but so don’t want to. This time of year is always a battle. It’s cold and gloomy, and I feel lazy. Well I’ll get there next week; just gotta get off my ass first.

291/250/155

Honestly I haven’t even thought about blogging for the past few weeks. I guess I’ve been distracted. So here’s how the weigh-ins went: 9/24: +0.2, 10/1: +1.8, 10/10: -0.8, and this week 10/17: -3.0. It’s been frustrating, I want to get out of the 250s so badly. I want to be closer to the 100s than the 300s. I’m almost there. I just have to focus and stay on track this week. If I can loose .9 I will be there, the elusive 240s. According to my home scale I’m already there, but nothings official until I weigh in at WW so I just need to keep it up this week.

I’m still struggling to establish a routine. I’m a very routine person and when I don’t have a regular schedule my weight typically skyrockets. Since I’m subbing, and don’t know far in advance what day I’m working and what my hours will be, it’s been very hard to establish a routine. One decision I’ve made is that I HAVE to bring my gym clothes to work with me and stop by the gym on the way home. If I go back to my apartment first, it’s over; I’m never making to the gym that night.

I’ve been working on my running. I said I wanted to a while back but I was so intimidated by the idea of running in front of other people that it wasn’t really happening. Finally I bit the bullet and got on the treadmill at the gym. I promptly set the speed too high and almost killed myself. Thoroughly embarrassed by coming mere inches from being catapulted into the recumbent bikes, I regained my composure and found a more suitable speed. That was weeks ago. Now I’m increasing my intervals and starting to feel much more comfortable running. I still don’t have any kind of impressive stamina, but I’m improving and it feels great!

291/250.8/155

Well I weighed in on Friday last week since I was going to be up at my parents’ house for the weekend. I lost 2.2lbs which was about, well, 2 lbs more than I expected. What a lovely surprise. I got back into my workout routine last week. I’m still getting a little more tired than I used to on cardio, but I’m doing a lot better than I was when I last posted. I guess that week off from being sick just really knocked me back further than I expected.

So staying on track for my birthday, what a challenge. I went up to my parents’ house friday afternoon. I ate well for dinner that night and breakfast on Saturday. But come lunch (a very late lunch) I was starving and we stopped at this sports bar that didn’t have a single healthy option on the menu. So I had two sliders (those mini-burgers) and chips with guac and queso. Not too healthy, but honestly I would have done worse last year. Then for my birthday dinner Saturday night (for this meal I had planned to splurge) I had a 7oz steak
with steamed veggies, mashed potatoes, and a caesar salad. With two raspberry mojitos to drink. As for the birthday cake. I had told my mom that unless she could find something low fat that was actually good, I didn’t want a birthday cake. So she made me an ice cream pie using the double-churn fat free ice cream, low fat cool whip and a graham cracker crust. That’s supposed to be it right? Done splurging. Well, Sunday morning we had bacon, hash browns, eggs and toast for breakfast. And beef brisket for dinner (which wouldn’t have been so bad if I’d not had TWO servings). Then Monday morning I had left-over steak. Monday afternoon I left my parents to come back home. Marking the official end of the splurge… right?

Well I completely forgot I had a meeting with my boss at 5:30, and realized this at 4:45. So I had to haul ass downtown, and needed some food because I had inservice afterwards and would need the energy. And what’s the ONLY restaurant on the way to work? McDonalds. So I stopped there and was hating myself for it. Then, just as I’m about to poison myself with fast food that I don’t even really like (I was always more of a wendy’s girl), my phone rings. It’s my friend Jessica; the University is closed due to the flooding. (If it’s not in the news in your area, the Southeast has gotten some serious rain for the past week and we’ve had a lot of flooding in Ga for the past few days). So I no longer have the meeting with my boss. Before, I would have eaten the McDonalds anyways; I already paid for it right? But I threw it away! Then went to dinner with Jessica and had chicken fingers (ugh). No healthier but at least it tasted good.

So I now have 4 days to make up for all of that. It’s quite a challenge I’m facing but I REALLY want to lose weight this week. Even if it’s only .1 lbs. I want to lose weight on my birthday just to prove to myself that I can! I’m having subway for lunch today, then heading to the gym! Have a good week.

291/252.6/155

So weigh-in went well this week. A little too well for me to trust. I weighed in on Saturday, since I’m substitute teaching now that will probably become my normal weigh-in day. And I weighed in with a beautiful 4.4 pound loss! But I can’t help thinking I didn’t really earn it. I didn’t try that hard this week; I went off plan several times. I find myself thinking “well you gave blood this week so that’s part of it… and don’t forget all that time you spent sitting home sick. I bet you lost 4 pounds of muscle mass!” Plus it’s my time of the month and contrary to everyone else it seems, I lose weight at that time. I’m trying to enjoy the loss. I’m just terrified of it all being some weird fluke and I’ll weigh 270 next week or something.

And speaking of lost muscle mass, something IS wrong. I don’t know if it’s from giving blood or being sick, but I’m not recovering properly from something. I’m just so tired and working out (especially cardio) exhausts me in no time. I walked up Stone Mountain yesterday, something I’ve done a hundred times before. And on my way up I was feeling like I’m 290 lbs living a fully sedentary lifestyle again. It was just WAY harder than it should have been. I didn’t even make it to the top and I felt like I was about to black out. I was so disappointed. I’m really hoping that whatever is up with my workouts will go away within the next week. Otherwise I guess I’ll have to go to the doctor and pray it isn’t something awful like diabetes. The reason diabetes concerns me in this is that I had these dizzy/near-blackout spells as a kid, the first thing the doctors did was test me for diabetes. The doctors never did figure out the problem and I grew out of it. I’m afraid this time I won’t be so lucky. Sorry for another negative post, it’s just how I’m feeling lately.

291/254.8/155

About two and a half years ago, I fell into a deep state of apathy. My grades dropped, my weight skyrocketed. This apathy in addition to my binge eating caused the last 50 lbs I put on, and kept me from even attempting to lose weight for 2.5 years! The past couple weeks, I’ve felt that apathy creeping back in. I still worked out… and I thought about eating right. I thought it would be nice to lose some more weight, to reach goal some day. I had a lot of thoughts while eating pizza, general tso’s chicken, ice cream, and God knows what else because I wasn’t tracking at all. I had occasional bursts of motivation: an on plan day here, a healthy meal there. And I had my gym time. I started running some, just a minute or so at a time with walking in between. So I managed to skate by the first week with a minor loss of .4, but the second week of this behavior caught up to me with a 2 pound gain. That should shock me back on track right? Eh, kinda. I’ve been half-assed tracking and eating MOST of the day on plan. And to make matters worse, I got sick on Thursday so no more working out either. So I’m trying to get back in my grove. I don’t want to let all of my hard work go! I’ve done well so far today. I had an english muffin with egg beaters and 2%milk cheese for breakfast, and baked chicken with snap peas for lunch. The evening is when I’ve been screwing up though. I’m really trying to take control today. I joined the 3FC’s biggest loser challenge, and weight watchers is starting it’s Lose for Good campaign (every pound = food for the needy). So hopefully those will help keep me motivated. It’s not just for me right now, but for my team and to help others. Wish me luck… and strength. I’ll check in with y’all in a couple days to let you know how well I’m doing!

291/259.2/155

So I didn’t check in here after this weeks weigh-in.  I lost 0.4, not too exciting but it’s a loss.  Kinda been feeling bummed out this week.  Went off program the past couple days, getting back on today.  Still not feeling too chatty though.  Have a good week!

291/257.2/155

This week went pretty well. I had a consultation with a wellness coach at the Y and set up some goals to work on. She started me on a workout plan. Some of the machines I’ve been using, others were new to my routine and left me pretty sore. Yesterday I went swimming for the first time in around a month. I was feeling really sluggish to start. Partly because I’m not swimming regularly anymore and partly from my sore muscles. But once I got going it felt good and I got to that “I could do this all day” mode. That’s my favorite thing about swimming, once I get warmed up it really isn’t tiring to me. It’s like the more I swim the more I can swim. Overall, despite feeling sluggish, I could feel the difference in my weight while I swam. I’m definitely pulling a lot less these days

I’ve recently discovered those ziplock steamer bags for microwaving veggies. I heard of them a long time ago but never tried them until last week. They are awesome. As someone who hates to cook, they’re a lifesaver. I just bake some chicken and microwave the veggies. BAM! A healthy meal in 18 minutes with very few dishes (use aluminium foil under the chicken for easy clean-up). As for weight loss this week, I lost 2 pounds. That’s my biggest loss in one week for a while. I need to lose 2.6 next week to reach my 255 by the end of August goal. I’m not too hopeful about getting there. But I’ll still try, and I’ll be happy with getting close. Have a great week everyone!

291/257.6/155

I’m feeling especially impatient today.  I went rafting through a program called Touch the Earth at my work.  Touch the Earth offers a lot of really awesome outdoors programs at reasonable to downright cheap prices.  On the way back we were discussing upcoming trips and classes: kayak school, rock climbing certification, hiking trips.  It all sounded so fun.  And it’s a great way to meet people my own age.  Doing things like art classes, I only meet people much older than myself.  All this outdoors stuff seems to be where the younger crowd is and it’s where I want to be.  But I feel so held back by my weight.  There isn’t a chance in hell I could pull my own weight in rock climbing.  I’d fall behind the group in hiking.  I took kayak school once before: I had to use the biggest boat, and I was 20 lbs smaller than I am now.  It’s one of those days that I can’t help being mad at myself for not losing weight sooner.  I found out about Touch the Earth 5 years ago and have wanted to be more involved in it ever since.  But I’ve just gotten further and further from the fitness level needed for this stuff.  I found me telling myself, “you’ll do those things next year when you’re smaller.”  But I’m sick of putting things off.  I’m so fucking sick of waiting for next year!

I made it. I hit my 10% target, even with last weekend’s blunder. It was awesome. I really needed this. For so long now that goal has felt so close but every time I reach it pulls away. I finally caught that bitch. Wahoo. So I’ve got one more week of my candy ban, doing better on the sodas. Next week I’m looking to hit -30. That should be easy since I’m 0.2 away, but I have a tendency to gain the week after an important loss. So I guess that’s my real goal this week. To try not to fuck it up. Have a great week ladies!

291/259.6/155