I have six days left in Scranton.  Then I return home to work the summer away as a dresser for a show at an amusement park.  I’ll be glad to be home, this semester has really drained me and I feel somewhat broken.  I need a couple of months where I’m not stressed out 24/7.  I’m joining the gym near work and plan on taking as many classes as I can this summer.  I’ve set a “get your butt in gear” goal for myself.  I’ve let myself slip on my eating and exercising.  I start work on May 4th, and I want to get myself down into the 150’s.  I don’t care if its 159.9, I need to do this.  As of this morning I was at 168.2.  I may not make it, but I will not let that number get any closer to the 170s.

Back to work I go, hope you all have a great weekend!

Life for the next couple of weeks is going to be beyond hectic so I probably won’t be updating much until after I’ve gotten through this semester.

I hope you all are doing well.  The scale was up this morning, but I’m going to work harder so its down down down next week.

I really don’t want to throw it away.

I think I just have a really bad case of the blahs.  School is getting to me, work is getting to me…and there is that lurking problem that’s been plagueing me all weekend.  Well I guess there are two lurking problems, my thesis (duh) and I’ve been having some self image issues. 

I’ve always had a problem seeing any real change in myself and up until this weekend…it didn’t bother me much.  But at zumba, both saturday and sunday, I felt really bothered by my reflection.  Now, I know I’m not that 200+ pound girl that I used to be.  But I still don’t see any difference and after losing 40 pounds I should see a difference.  Its almost sad that I feel this way, it shouldn’t matter what I look like.  But in such an image driven world, I do.  And I think I need to face up to this now because in four weeks…less than four weeks actually…I’m going to start working with actors again.  Yes, these bubbly beautiful people will be a part of my life for the next four months.  They’re all skinny and eat what ever they want and then complain taht they are too fat.  And all I can think of is “honey when you are the size of my leg…you aren’t fat.”

Maybe this is just something I have to adjust to.  I know I’m never going to be a skinny girl, I just would really like to see some other girl in the mirror.  One that preferrably doesn’t look like she weighs more than 200 pounds (not that I’m saying that is bad, but when you don’t weigh 200 pounds…its frustrating).

I’ve probably stuck my foot in my mouth a dozen times during this post, I’m sorry if I’ve offended anyone.

I don’t know why I feel like this because I know I’m going to get up at 8 tomorrow and head on over to take a zumba class, and I’ll probably do the same thing on sunday.  Heck I spend 6-7 days a week at the gym or taking a class.  So lazy, is nowhere near how you would describe me.

Maybe my workout needs a tune up.  I’ve been saying how I want to start lifting again.  Because as a kinesiology masters student, I know the importance of weight training.  I just never feel like doing it.  I’d rather beat myself up doing cardio.  I have to keep telling myself that I’m going to be asking MS Patients to do resistance training, if they can do it, I surely should suck it up and do it.  If the instructor obviously isn’t doing the plan (or more than the plan) that she’s giving you, why should you follow it.

Change…is essential for moving forward to a better you.

That’s it, I’m going to step up to the plate and throw in some weight training.  Couldn’t hurt could it?

Anyone that knows me knows that I love fiber… a lot.  I search out foods with high fiber content, and since starting my clean eating lifestyle it has been easier and easier to find fiber.  I consume anywhere from 5-10 fruits and veggies a day.  I also choose breads that are high in fiber (and flax too).  I can safely say that I average around 35-40 grams of fiber a day…which is really good (even above the recommended daily intake).

Do you struggle with fiber?

Here are some tips from me to you:

• Choose a variety of fruits and veggies - at least 5 a day
• Choose breads that are high in fiber (look for whole grains)
• Choose whole grain pastas
• If you must eat something that is processed…try a fiber one bar.
• Make a fruit smoothie and toss in some metamucil or other fiber supplement

Hope you are having a fiber filled day!

I’ve been doing a 5K training program and for the first time (I’ve been doing this on and off for over a year) I made it to week four.  I’m so excited to do day two of week four tonight.  Its a 9-week program so I’m half-way through.  Day three of week five is a little scary.  They want you to be able to jog 2 miles straight on that day.  But I know I can do it.

Hope all of you out there in blog land are having a great day.  Its back to work for me!

And that’s just what I plan on doing, I’m not going to be uber strict about it like I was this past week, but I am going to try and stick with it.

Here’s a list of benefits that I’ve seen:

• Loss of 3 pounds
• More energy
• No stomach issues
• Never hungry
• Food tastes pretty darn good!
• Don’t crave sweets as much

And that’s just a short list of things I’ve noticed.  I’m sure there other benefits that I’ll find further down the road.

Now its time to go back to the thesis.

So what’s new with me?  Clean eating.  Today is day seven of my clean eating diet and it has been an amazing experience.  So what is clean eating?  Well its pretty much eliminating any processed foods from your diet.  You focus on eating healthy fruits and vegetables and lean meats.  I have more energy and the food tastes pretty good too.  The other night I made turkey tenders with a cranberry yogurt dipping sauce.  Tonight is skillet ginger chicken with cilantro and lime.  They’re really good and good for you.  Tomorrow for breakfast I’m making a family favorite…whole-grain buttermilk waffles.

Hope you are all having fabulous weight loss journeys, remember, no matter whether you take one step or fifty towards your goal, even half a step gets you closer to where you want to be.  Keep at it!

That’s what I’ve been doing the past oh week or so…work.  Lots and lots of homework and I don’t feel like I’m getting anywhere.  But that’s because I’m working within such a short deadline.  If you’ve never taken on a graduate thesis…don’t worry you’re not missing anything and I think you may be smarter than me. I may not be around much because I have to get my first three chapters written, have my committee review and approve it and get it submitted to the IRB by April 2nd.  Which is cutting it very very very close (ok…almost impossible…but I’m going to to try).

So that’s a quick little update from me.  I started a clean eating plan (after getting pretty sick on something I ate this weekend).  Pretty much I eat whole foods…no processed stuff.  After 7 days I’m supposed to start feeling better.  I’m only going about 90% clean because I know I won’t stick with it if I cut out all processed foods.
Hope you all are having a great Monday and have a great week!

• Calories: 1544
• Water: 10 Glasses
• Exercise: 1 hour 20 minutes