It’s funny. I just realized I didn’t actually put on much weight during my transition from keto back to WW. About four pounds – and they say that the first 5 lb you lose on keto is your excess glycogen stores and the associated water weight. So I don’t think I actually put on any fat weight out of all that. I feel like a big ol’ lump after coming off low-carb, telling myself I had failed yet again, that I was just going to be overweight forever at this rate. But when I remove all the emotion and self-talk and look at it objectively, I really haven’t done poorly for myself. I’m right where anyone would reasonably expect me to be.
Man, I need to work on my inner monologue. I used to be way better at talking kindly to myself. I don’t know where that got derailed! I’ve been fighting recently to even not have some comeback to every nice thing B says to me. He calls me beautiful? I point out some flaw. He comments on a body part? (By body part I mean boobs…) I find some reason why they aren’t that great. He was picking up on it and hates hearing it from me… So I’m trying to silence that knee-jerk reaction. Trying to accept and love myself. I used to pride myself on my healthy sense of self-worth, back when I did WW successfully before – I may have lost slowly but damn did I love myself.
In the kinda-sorta words of Liz Lemon, “I want to go [back] to there.”
Had a good day yesterday. Going to continue that trend. Have to plan ahead for my dinner-on-the-run as I’ll be in class. Let’s see. Ideal world, I will eat:
B1: plain yogurt, kashi, strawberries
B2: english muffin, pb
L: asian salad (bagged mix), edamame
D: turkey, cheese, tomato, lettuce on flatout wrap; apple?
S: triscuits and laughing cow