Losing and Gaining Control!

Posted by megems on May 11th, 2011 |Filed Under Uncategorized | Leave a Comment

It’s our goal to lose weight, not gain it.  BUT what about the control I need to keep on track?  I am dedicated for 3 months, and as soon as I meet a mini-goal I go off plan.  So, here I am 3 months after meeting my mini goal, and exactly the same weight I was.  SURE I haven’t gained anything.  BUT REALLY? I could just kick myself for not staying on track to keep losing weight.  If I would have I know I would be at least 15 pounds lighter.  I have no one to blame but myself.

So…how to I keep my control over myself?  What does one do? 

I have been exercising like a good girl, but not watching my calories at all!!! I started back up this week, and know that I will reach my next mini goal, but I am just so disappointed in myself.

Time to pick myself up, dust myself off and move on, right?  But what happens when I reach my next mini goal, then just get right back here again. 

I am always conscious of my calories, but stopped logging the information. Which then, I must ask myself…how conscious am I of those calories? Cause if I logged I KNOW I would be losing.  So back to logging I go.

I fully believe in my calorie counting, but I find it to be a hassle somedays.  But in the end, planning & dedication is what will work.  I can lose & gain control when I feel I am where I want to be, right? 

 

~ It’s time for change ~

Posted by megems on January 15th, 2011 |Filed Under Uncategorized | 1 Comment

Well, here I am again! Overweight.  I have struggled with my weight essentially all my life.  As a child, I was the pudgy girl, then my mom went on a diet and took our whole household with her.  So, I entered Junior high at a normal weight for a 5 foot, 12 year old girl.  By the end of high school, I had gained some weight, but not considered over weight.  Through my 20’s I gradually gained weight, and in March of 2004, was at my highest ever of 209 pounds.  (I am 5’4″ – Healthy weight is 115 -145). 

I was living with two other girls at the time, one was well over 350 pounds, while the other was about my size & weight.  The “other” is now my best friend Mandy.  The larger roommate’s sister joined Curves and asked us all to join with her.  Mandy & I jumped on the wagon and never looked back.  By March of 2005 (our goal deadline, for our trip to Vegas), we both were some HOT Mama’s!! I had gotten down to 164, size 12 (almost 10) jeans, and was loving every minute of it.  (I will go back through pictures, and try to create a visual timeline). 

AH! And what happens when a single gal feels good about herself, looks good in her own eye, and sends this confidence into the universe???  She meets a man..*DU DU DUUUUUU* Ah, my Jeff.  It was a love affair for many years, and finally stuck in March of 2005!!  He is a larger guy, big broad shoulders, bit of a belly, and stubborn as a mule (as most men are)!

Nonetheless from March of 2005 to November of 2007 (a wedding I was in) I got up to 187. In my head, I am thinking, I got this under control! I only gained 25 pounds, I can take it back off in about 6 – 9 months! I can do this.  I realize now my first issue was that I say ONLY 25 pounds!! Easy to put on, HELL to take off!

From November 2007 to December of 2009, I had reached my highest weight ever ~ 226.  I could almost cry thinking about it! I refused to buy clothes to fit that size, so I would just constantly wear the same thing over & over & over.  I was extremely unhappy with myself. 

On NYE of 09, going into January of 2010, Jeff FINALLY proposed.   The wedding is set for September 10, 2011, which gave me 1 year and 9 months to get my booty in shape, and get down to at least 150 (still 5 pounds over what is considered healthy for my height).  So, I started exercising, but not necessarily dieting and by May of 2009 was down to only 217.  From May – July I calorie counted and got down to 196.  After July, I just lost sight of what I was doing, and was like “Eh, I got over a year to go, I’m good.”  I need someone to kick me when I assume all is well when it comes to my weight loss!

As of January 1st I was back up to 206, 10 pounds in 6 months! But January also brought something else ~ Insight.  I am not dieting, I am changing.  I have goals, I can reach them with focus & determination.  I need to look forward and know that I can make the changes necessary!

Calorie counting & daily exercise is my way of life now, and once I reach my goal weight I can reassess…but for now it’s what I must do to reach my short & long term goals.  Change isn’t always bad, unless you perceive it that way!

Here’s to 2011, and a SKINNY BRIDE!!!