It’s been a while, here is what I have been up to!
It’s been a while, here is what I have been up to!
“Real generosity is doing something nice for someone who will never find out. ~Frank A. Clark”
*** daily calories count:
Gym: 417 calories
Total Calories: 1700s
So, Today, I was just sitting at home doing homework.. and procastinating.. as usual.
And, I was just thinking about my problems. I think about my relationship problem and the way I still struggle with myself and accepting who I am. And.. I just get all depressed and stuff. And then, I wish I didn’t have so much problems to worry about. I wonder how wonderful life would be without any problems. I wonder how crappy my life is right now.
And then, it hit me. My life isn’t crappy. And I don’t have that much problem. Sure, I have a few problems that drives me insane sometime, but everyone has problems. I’m not the only one struggling. And, then, I think about why I was sitting here and feeling all depressed in the first place. I don’t have to be unhappy. I do have control over my emotion. It’s such a waste of time to be unhappy.
I think that in this world, we all have problem. I think about 3fatchicks, and thought about all the bloggers on here. I’m sure you girls also have your own problems in life too and in the meantime, you also have to deal with your weight. And I realize, that there is a lot of stuff in this world that can mess with us..make us feel depressed. And sometime, in that depression, we lose sight of what is really important.
I don’t know, I’m not much of a writer. But I feel that I can make a difference in my life. I’m not perfect and nobody is. I have problems and bullshit I have to deal with on daily basis and I’m sure you have them too. But that is no reason to be sad or complain over. I think we can be the bigger person and deal with it, and make it better for ourself.
THus, I got up, and I decided I wanted to do something different today. Instead of shutting myself at home and procastinating, I will go out to lunch with people that I care about. I called up my baby cousin, and we went to eat thai food together. The meal was really fattening.. but we ate ourself silly. Just me and him. Haha, He ate so much that he could barely breathe. We didn’t talk much but I think we both had a really good time.
And.. that made my sunday! 🙂 It really does. Today was worth living and there really is something worth celebrating for. Instead of being depressed, I choose to make my life better. I choose to have lunch with my baby cousin and that made me happy.
So, if you are reading my post now, and you are sad about your life. I just want to let you know that things does get better. You just have to hang in there during the hard time, and it will be better. However, good things don’t come by itself. You have to stand up and make it better for yourself. You have to be strong and be the stronger person.
This goes with everything we do. Whether we are suffering from our weight, our life goals, our relationship with other people.. or anything else. We have to make it better for ourself. And it start by doing something different.
For me today, it was loneliness. The feeling of inadequate.. the feeling of lost. I know, it’s weird. But that’s what I’m struggling over. And, by having lunch with my baby cousin, I feel happy. He cheered me up without even knowing it. And this “better” thing, didn’t happen because I continue to shut myself at home. NO, I go up and did something to improve the situation.
So, that’s what I learn. We gotta be proactive! 🙂 THus, if you are frustrated and sad right now, you need to do something different to make yourself better. Things only get better only if YOU choose to make it better!!!
Here is a song that I feel really describe the moment:
[One Republic: Good Life] http://youtu.be/XckMvJYNZOc
Awhile back, a famous american poet, RObert Frost wrote a poem called, “THe Road Less taken”..
it’s pretty long.. and some part gets very hard to understand, but here is what it said:
THE ROAD NOT TAKEN:
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I marked the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference”
I could be wrong, and completely don’t understand what the poem means. But in my heart, I feel that it’s trying to say something about ..choosing a path that is right for you. The one.. that is less traveled by. ANd in a way, I feel that this path, my indeed be a harder and more treacherous one. But the poet took it anyway. Maybe he’s stupid. Maybe’s he couragous? Maybe.. just maybe, he had the confidence and ability to believe in his guts and instinct. Either way, he took the road less traveled.
I know, this had nothing to do with me. But, I could somewhat relate.
I have been through some really depressing time lately in the past few weeks. I recently discovered that I could be gay. That.. i could be harboring feelings for the same gender as me. I hated that feeling. I hated myself for having such feeling. It was wrong… or at least it felt wrong. It wasn’t normal. .. or that was my perception of normal. Nobody in my family is gay. None of my friend is gay. So.. why me? Why was I curse with such feeling.
I didn’t want it one bit. I wanted out. I wanted a way to stop all of this stuff. Just 3 weeks ago, I was living my life happily. Everything was fine.. I was going to lose weight.. and live a healthy life. Everything was fine.. until this came along. How am I going to live with myself? I don’t want to be gay. I don’t want these feelings and all the burden that comes with it. Eventhough I am fortunate to live in a society where people are now opening up to accepting gay people. I still don’t feel right. Maybe, I’m homophobic towards myself.
I couldn’t accept myself. Please.. go away. Make these things all go away. But it won’t, it can’t. And I can’t do anything about it. I am left with feeling that I harbor.
So.. I had a choice.. to choose to live with myself and accept myself the way I am. Or.. to pretend none of these feelings are here, and PRETEND everything is fine.. and continue living myself like none of these things ever happen. I can pretend.. and hold it within myself.. until I cannot hold it anymore. I can pretend to be normal. I can pretend to be straight. I can pretend i love a guy. I can pretend.
But…I know this path isn’t right. It isn’t something I would do to myself. I owe myself so much. ANd despite how much I hate myself right now, I still love myself too much to let myself to go back into the closet. I know this is crazy and stupid… but, I’m not going back into the closet.
I love myself too much to do that. ANd.. I don’t believe in living a life where I am lying to myself.. and to the people that I love. I don’ t think a life like that is worth living. I don’t think that is a life at all.
So, I’m going to do something. I am gay. And, I might not know what I’m getting myself into… but this is who I am. I’m going to accept myself. I’m going to love myself and I’m going to be okay. It is hard. Who would ever choose to be gay if they have a choice? I know I wouldn’t. I don’t want to be different. I want to be normal. I want to fall in love with a guy, and grow up having a family and children. That’s how I always imagined myself. Funny.. how things like these turn out.
I don’t like it. Not one bit. It’s going to take sometime for me to be comfortable with myself. Its going to take sometime for me to accept myself.. and be “okay”. Because I still feel that what I am doing is wrong. But, it’s okay. I’m going to be alright. I’m going to be strong and live my life the way I feel like I should live.
I want to live a life worth living. I want to pursue my dreams. I want to make my parents proud. I want to fall in love with the person I love, regardless of which gender they are. I want to be happy. And.. shit, it’s going to hard. But, fuck it. I’m going to live. I’m going to be me. And, I’m going to be better than okay. 🙂
..and NOW, i’m going to study!
Continue: HArd work:
Success literature going back hundreds of years espouses the benefits of hard work. But why is it that some people seem to feel that “hard work” is a dirty word nowadays?
I define “hard work” as work that is challenging. Both hard work and “working hard” (i.e. putting in the time required to get the job done) are required for success.
A problem occurs when people think of challenging work as painful or uncomfortable. Does challenging work necessarily have to be painful? No, of course not. In fact, a major key to success is to learn to enjoy challenging work AND to enjoy working hard at it.
Why challenging work? Because challenging work, when intelligently chosen, pays off. It’s the work that people of lesser character will avoid. And if you infer that I’m saying people who avoid challenging work have a character flaw, you’re right… and a serious one at that. If you avoid challenging work, you avoid doing what it takes to succeed. To keep your muscles strong or your mind sharp, you need to challenge them. To do only what’s easy will lead to physical and mental flabbiness and very mediocre results, followed by a great deal of time and effort spent justifying why such flabbiness is OK, instead of stepping up and taking on some real challenges.
Tackling challenges builds character, just as lifting weights builds muscle. To avoid challenge is to abandon one’s character development.
Now it’s natural that we’ll tend to avoid what’s painful, so if we see challenge as purely painful, we’ll surely avoid it. But in so doing, we’re avoiding some very important character development, which by its very nature is often tremendously challenging. So we must learn to fall in love with challenge instead of fearing it, just as a bodybuilder can learn to love the pain of doing “one more rep” that tears down muscle fibers, allowing them to grow stronger. If you avoid the pain, you miss out on the growth. This is true both for building muscles and for building character.
While a common philosophy says to go with the flow, the downside to this belief system is that you must yield control of your life to that flow. And that’s fine if you don’t mind living passively and letting life happen to you. If you feel you’re here to ride your life instead of drive it, then you’ll have to accept where the flow takes you and learn to like it. But sometimes the flow doesn’t go in a healthy direction. You can go with the flow and end up in a pretty screwed up situation if you don’t assume more direct control when needed.
On the other hand, there’s the alternative way of looking at life with you as the driving force behind it. You create and control the flow yourself. This is a more challenging way to live but also a much more rewarding one. You aren’t limited to those experiences that can only be gotten passively or painlessly — now you can have much more of what you want by being willing to accept and take on bigger challenges.
If I only went with the perceived easy flow of my life, I’d never have learned to read, write, or type; those were all challenges where I felt I was going against the flow of what was easy and natural. I wouldn’t have gotten any college degrees. I wouldn’t have started my own business. I certainly wouldn’t have developed any software. No way I would have run a marathon — one doesn’t exactly flow into such a thing. And I most certainly wouldn’t be doing any public speaking. This web site wouldn’t exist either; it was definitely an entity created more by drive than by flow.
I do believe there is an underlying flow to life at times, but I see myself as a co-creator in that flow. I can ride the flow when it’s headed where I want to go, or I can get off and blaze my own trail when necessary.
When you step up and learn to see yourself as the driver of your life instead of the passive victim of it, then it becomes a lot easier to take on big challenges and to endure the hardships they sometimes require. You learn to associate more pleasure to the character development you gain than the minor discomforts you experience. You become accustomed to spending more time outside your comfort zone. Hard work is something you look forward to because you know that it will lead to tremendous growth. And you eventually develop the maturity and responsibility to understand that certain goals will never just flow into your life; they’ll only happen if you act as the driving force to bring them to fruition.
When faced with the prospect of saying to yourself, “If I always avoid hard work, I’ll never in my life get to experience X, Y, or Z,” it’s a little easier to embrace the benefits of hard work. What will you miss out on? You’ll probably never run a marathon, marry the mate of your dreams, become a multi-millionaire, make a real difference in the world, etc. You’ll have to settle for only what going with the flow can provide, which is mediocrity. You’ll basically just take up space and die without really having mattered. The world will be pretty much the same had you never existed (chaos theory notwithstanding).
If you want to achieve some really big and interesting goals, you have to learn to fall in love with hard work. Hard work makes the difference. It’s what separates the children from the mature adults. You can keep living as a child and desperately hoping that life will always be easy, but then you’ll be stuck in a child-like world, working on other people’s goals instead of your own, waiting for opportunities to come to you instead of creating your own, and doing work that in the grand scheme of this world just isn’t important.
When you learn to embrace hard work instead of running from it, you gain the ability to execute on your big goals, no matter what it takes to achieve them. You blast through obstacles that stop others who have less resolve. But what is it that gets you to this point? What gets you to embrace hard work?
When you live for a strong purpose, then hard work isn’t an option. It’s a necessity. If your life has no real purpose, then you can avoid hard work, and it won’t matter because you’ve decided that your life itself doesn’t matter anyway. So who cares if you work hard or take the easy road? But if you’ve chosen a significant purpose for your life, it’s going to require hard work to get there — any meaningful purpose will require hard work. You have to admit to yourself then that the only way this purpose is going to be fulfilled is if you embrace hard work. And this is what takes you beyond fear and ego, beyond the sniveling little child who thinks that hard work is something to run away from. When you become driven by a purpose greater than yourself, you embrace hard work out of necessity. That child gets replaced by a mature adult who assumes responsibility for getting the job done, knowing that without total commitment and lots of hard work, it’s never going to happen.
Desire melts adversity.
Show me a person who avoids hard work, and I’ll show you someone who hasn’t found their purpose yet. Because anyone who knows their purpose will embrace hard work. They’ll pay the price willingly.
If you don’t know your purpose yet, then in the world of mature human beings, you don’t yet matter. You’re just a piece of flotsam on the flow created by those who do live on purpose. And deep down you already know this, don’t you? If you want to make a difference in the world, then hard work is the price. There are no shortcuts.
Purpose and hard work are buddies. Purpose is the why. Hard work is the how. Purpose is what turns labor into labor of love. It transmutes the pain of hard work into the higher level pleasure of dedication, commitment, resolve, and passion. It turns pain into strength, eventually to the point where you don’t notice the pain as much as you enjoy the strength.
Once again it all comes down to purpose. Create a purpose for your life, and live it each day. And many of the other success habits like hard work and working hard will fall into place automatically. Figure out the why. Why are you here? Why does your life matter? That is the ultimate test of your free will.
This article is priceless.
The big secret in life is that there is no big secret. Whatever your goal, you can get there if you’re willing to work.
– Oprah Winfrey
Hard work — yet another dirty word.
Hard Work Defined
My definition of hard work is that which challenges you.
And why is challenge important? Why not just do what’s easiest?
Most people will do what’s easiest and avoid hard work — and that’s precisely why you should do the opposite. The superficial opportunities of life will be attacked by hordes of people seeking what’s easy. The much tougher challenges will usually see a lot less competition and a lot more opportunity.
There’s an African gold mine two miles deep. It cost tens of millions of dollars to construct, but it’s one of the most lucrative gold mines ever. These miners tackled a very challenging problem with a lot of hard work, but ultimately it’s paying off.
I remember when I was developing the PC game Dweep in 1999, I spent four months full-time working to create a design doc that was only five pages long. It was a logic puzzle game, and I found it extremely challenging to get the design just right. After the design was done, everything else took only two more months — programming, artwork, music, sound effects, writing the installer, and launching the game.
I spent all this time intentionally working on design because at the time, I believed this was where I could get the competitive edge I needed. I knew I couldn’t compete on the basis of the game’s technical attributes. Before I started on the game, I surveyed the competition and found a lot of games that I considered “low hanging fruit.” Most of the market was flooded with clones of older games, the kind of stuff that’s easiest to make. And most of my early games were short on design as well, mostly aim-and-shoot arcade games.
It was much, much harder to design an original game with unique gameplay. But it paid off handsomely. Dweep won the Shareware Industry Award in 2000, and an improved version of the game (Dweep Gold) won that same award the following year. As a result of the success of that game, I was interviewed by a reporter for the New York Times, and my interview along with a nice photo appeared in the June 13, 2001 edition (business section). First released on June 1, 1999, Dweep is now beginning its 7th year of sales. It can’t compete with today’s technology. It couldn’t compete on technology when it was first released. But it still competes well on design with the best of the other competitors in its field. I discovered there are a lot of players who prefer a well-designed game with dated graphics than a shallow light show with the latest technology. The long-term success of this game brought home the lesson that hard work does pay.
There’s no way Dweep would have been able to hold out this long if I had taken the easy way out during the design phase. I dug for gold two miles deep, so it was much harder for anyone else to unseat the game from its position in the market. In order to do that, they’d have to outdig me, and very few people are willing to do that because creative game design is excruciatingly difficult. Everyone says they have a cool game idea, but to actually turn it into something workable, fun, and innovative is very hard work. When I look at other games that are successful over a period of 5+ years, I consistently see a willingness to take on hard work that others aren’t willing to tackle. And yet today the market is even more overcrowded with cloned drivel than when I started.
Strong challenge is commonly connected with strong results. Sure you can get lucky every once in a while and find an easy path to success. But will you be able to maintain that success, or is it just a fluke? Will you be able to repeat it? Once other people learn how you did it, will you find yourself overloaded with competition?
When you discipline yourself to do what is hard, you gain access to a realm of results that are denied everyone else. The willingness to do what is difficult is like having a key to a special private treasure room.
The nice thing about hard work is that it’s universal. It doesn’t matter what industry you’re in — hard work can be used to achieve positive long-term results regardless of the specifics.
I’m using this same philosophy in building this personal development business. I do a lot of things that are hard. I try to address topics that other people don’t and bypass the low hanging fruit. I strive to explore topics deeply and search for the gold. I do lots of reading and research. I write lengthy articles and give my best ideas away for free, so I’m constantly forced to better my best. I launched this business in October of last year and have been working on it full time for essentially no pay.
Meanwhile I’m working hard in Toastmasters to build my speaking skills (my one-year anniversary was June 2nd). I belong to two different clubs and attend 6-7 meetings per month. I became a club officer about a month after joining, and I was just elected to a second officer position. I’ve given many speeches, all of them for free. I’ve competed in every speech contest since I’ve joined. If I had put all this time into my games business, I’d have a lot more money right now. It’s a lot of hard work, and I’ve probably got at least another year of training before I’m ready to go pro. But I’m willing to pay the price whatever it takes. I’m not going to take the easy path to a shallow position where I will only come crashing back down again. I won’t get up on a stage and spout a bunch of fluffy self-help sound bites that still garner applause and a paycheck but which don’t ultimately help anyone. If it takes years, it takes years.
I’m taking the same approach to writing my book. It’s a lot of hard work. But I want this to be the kind of book that people will still be reading 10 years from now. Writing a book like this is at least 10x harder than the kinds of books I see dominating the psychology section of bookstores today. But most of those books will be off the shelves in a year, and few people will even remember them.
Hard work pays off. When someone tells you otherwise, beware the sales pitch for something “fast and easy” that’s about to come next. The greater your capacity for hard work, the more rewards fall within your grasp. The deeper you can dig, the more treasure you can potentially find.
Being healthy is hard work. Finding and maintaining a successful relationship is hard work. Raising kids is hard work. Getting organized is hard work. Setting goals, making plans to achieve them, and staying on track is hard work. Even being happy is hard work (true happiness that comes from high self-esteem, not the fake kind that comes from denial and escapism).
Hard work goes hand-in-hand with acceptance. One of the things you must accept are those areas of your life that won’t succumb to anything less than hard work. Perhaps you’ve had no luck finding a fulfilling relationship. Maybe the only way it’s going to happen is if you accept you’re going to have to do what you’ve been avoiding. Perhaps you want to lose weight. Maybe it’s time to accept that the path to your goal requires disciplined diet and exercise (both hard work). Perhaps you want to increase your income. Maybe you should accept that the only way it will happen is with a lot of hard work.
Your life will reach a whole new level when you stop avoiding and fearing hard work and simply surrender to it. Make it your ally instead of your enemy. It’s a potent tool to have on your side.
I’m so young. And I make so many mistakes. And I don’t know everything. But, I’m willing to be patient and learn.
My parents complete me. We fight and argue a lot. But in the very end, there are so much things I do not know. I trust they make positive and good decision. Maybe when it times, I too will make positive and insightful decision.
So, now, I’m still a hotheaded girl who haven’t live long enough to understand the world. And I do make mistakes. And I am learning.
I love my family and my relative. No matter how I hate them sometime, eventually, they are still family. And that makes all the difference to me 🙂
I don’t care how much calories I ate today or how much i ate yesterday.
Just right now, I’m just so tried. I’m so disappointed in my mom. She lie to me and broke a promise she made to me. Eventhough, I’m not anyone important. I still feel crushed inside b/c my own mother did this to me.
I can’t help but cry. I can’t do anything to my mom. She’s not a friend I can just walk away from. She’s not a little brother or sister I can scream at. She’s not someone I hate where I can fight. She is someone I love so much and so dearly. So, I can’t do anything to her except cry for what she did to me.
She will probably never know of me shredding these tears or will I ever let her know. I’m so sad in my mom.
I can’t do anything. I hate it so much. I hate why I care so freaken much. At this age, I’m not suppose to be stress over these stuff. I’m suppose be stressed over fights with my friend or relationship problem with my boyfriend. I should be cry over poor grades, or a break-up with some guy. BUt not to be CRYING ON A SUNDAY NIGHT OVER HOW MY OWN MOTHER BROKE HER PROMISED TO ME!!! GOD!
I LOVE MY MOM BUT I HATE WHAT SHE DID TO ME TODAY!!!!! I can’t let her know that B/C I’m afraid She might get sad and sick and stuff like that. SHe is going through a hard time, so I can’t say nothing to her.
I hate myself. I truely do. I hate myself for feeling this way or even caring. I hate it. I should just have been like those other stupid daugther who go to night clubs, have one night stand with some random guy off the street. Use drugs and visist my parents once every 5 YEARS!! ARGGH!!!!
NO. I can’t do that. B/c that would kill my mother. I’m her one and only daughter. Her pride and her joy. Someone she can be proud of. Someone she would be proud to say “that’s my daughter”.
I guess I can’t do anything but vent here and cry. It’s always a sad day when someone you love break a promise to you. But its a sadder day if your gonna hold a grudge against them for something like that. B/c you love them more than anything. And that makes all the difference.
Here are some Photoshop picture retouching tutorials!
Learn well, and make your pictures last a lifetime
*Noted: Change the physical structure of your body is an OFF GAME. Use photoshop to make your picture look more professional, but don’t use it to create a FAKE you. 🙂 Happy posting on facebook!
Here are the basic website that can help: 🙂
I thought this picture might motivate you a little! 😀
I am thinking of taking photography as a hobby. But not like.. a serious photography. I mean “facebook” photography. Aka. Taking good pictures of myself! 🙂 And of course, to document the changes and progression in my looks as I attempt “Healthy Living”. And also, what’s better for a girl than to document her looks & beauty? 😀
Haha, I am been a tom boy for too long, and now I’m going to use my tom-boyish skills and taste to make a LADY out of me! Yea, baby. To look good, I also need pictures to document & record & admire &.. maybe brag to my mommy! Haha 😀
Website for Shooting tips (human):
Website for camera & method: