What did i do today? Nothing. Really. Nothing.
But I am motivated again on my weight. I was watching a reality TV show today, and as I was watching one of my favorite actress talking, I kinda felt really bad. I remember telling myself that I want to be some what as thin as her one day.. and I promised that I would work hard toward it. But, its been over 3 months since summer, and I am no where near my earlier goal of 115. Instead, I think I kinda gained weight.. b/c at the start of summer, I was 121? .. but now I’m 124.
But, in a way, I’m kinda glad. Before summer, I was motivated to lose weight b/c of 1 reason. I had a really pretty friend in my math class. And I looked up to her a lot. She was everything i wanted to be. She was BEAUTIFUL, THIN, SMART, SOCIAL, AND VERY VERY FASHIONABLE. She was, in my eye, an “ideal” girl. (And..she also look like my favorite korean actress!!) So, yea, she was pretty amazing.
So, everyday, I had classes with her, and I would always sit next to her and we would talk. So, everyday, I was constantly reminded of how I need to lose weight.. and how I need to be more “girlier” .. rather than a tom boy nerd.. that I am. And, so.. that’s how it all started. That’s how I made an attempt to research online and discover 3fatchicks
But, when summer ended, she left to visit her family for 3 months.. and I haven’t spoken to her once. And, I guess during that time, I kinda lost focus of my goal. I was no longer reminded of losing weight. And for a time, I didn’t even really care. But after I did poorly in my calculus class, it was like a slap in the face.
It was the end of July, and my GPA had dropped, my eye was puffy, and I was.. addicted to video games.. and I was back to 127 lbs. It was in that pit of failure I realize that I needed to do something for myself. I needed to get better for myself, and I need to lose weight for myself, and I better be there for myself. (And THANK YOU TO 3FATCHICK BLOG & jewlz280 , who were really supportive during those dark days.)
SO, I changed myself. It wasn’t easy. It was REALLY hard making a come back. (its wasn’t like those hollywood movies, where the come back seems so easy)But, in all of those event, it feel good b/c I was doing the right thing. And, that’s how I got back on my feet.
However, I’m still very very far from my goal, and that of my weight 121..before summer. But this time, I know that once i hit 121, I will keep going! I will always admire my friend, but I know that I will still be okay without her present. Because, I am learning to be strong by myself. SELF-MOTIVATION! MUAHAHA
So, that is my story. But there is something I feel about the people in 3fatchicks
In my very end, I think we are all here at this blog b/c we care for ourselves. We love ourselves and we know we are capable of reaching that ideal weight and living a healthy and happy life.Thus, we will push ourselves each and every second of the day to achieve our dream. Losing weight is not easy. (OH, I’m sure you all know this by now) but losing weight is not impossible and it is possible for you and me. I know the route to losing weight is long.. and treacherous. ANd many many time, we fall off our track due to illness, sadness, depression, or just unfortunate events in our lives. (And with more time you spent on this blog, you’ll notice people come and go. ) But, we always manage to come back here and blog about our day and our weight. (haha) it’s because we care for ourselves. Nobody is holding a gun to our head forcing us to do this. We are doing this b/c we know we can do it, and we NEED to do it for ourselves!
B/C when you reach that “ideal” lbs, people around you will be very surprised how beautiful, fit, and healty you looked!! But you won’t, Because YOU knew all along that you were this beautiful and healthy, and fit! That’s why you are putting the effort now, to reach the place where you know you belong.
So, this is the end of my reflection for the summer.With this, I welcome FALL!
It’s fall now. There is only so many months left before the new year. Let’s make the best of this last few months. READ… SET.. GOO!!
PS: My grammar is all over the place. Some of my sentence doesn’t even make sense. But, I like it.