Archive for the ‘Healthy Living Quarter Analysis’ Category

Healthy living: living update

Thursday, March 29th, 2012

Hello world,

I’m sick. I appologized for the lack of blogging and update these days, but for some reason, I don’t feel like doing anything anymore. I guess I am kinda dissapointed about my grades.. and all. Yea, my mom told me not to be so sad about my grades, but I can’t help get depressed when it doesn’t turn out right.

As for my weight, it’s okay. It’s not going anywhere. I have more time to exercise now because I’m on spring break. But then my eating habit itsn’t very good. Since spring break, all my friends want to meet up and go “hang-out”. Thus, this lead to excessive eating, excessive sweet & fattening food. Worse off, I think I’m getting sick. SO, that mean no gym for me. Um.. yea

Well, I guess I’m kinda down, and lazy at the moment and that is b/c of 2 things:

1. My grades. I hope it’s not that bad :(

2. My crush.(Okay, i been hiding this from you all, but recently have i have a crush on this person. But they are in a relationship. That person also like me .. i think. BUt I told myself i’m not gonna go there. Because it’s bad. I don’t want to get involved in these kinda of ordeals because I know somewhere along the way, someone is going to get hurt. So, I took this on myself, I and walked out. Thus, I been down lately.. and maybe that was the reason for my lack of sleep & excessive eating of sweets & fat.)…. lol.. pathetic. I know.

But I guess, that sums it up. I haven’t been doing a photoshoot but I swear I will do one soon. It will be up before spring break is over. Now, I’m going to go weight myself and start over again. I need to clear my head and get over this girl. And I NEED to concentrate and focus on school.

I need to raise my grades! Argggh. I can’t let these kinda things get to me. ALso, I think I will need to do a day to day calories check in again because of my excessive eating lately.

Hope all is well for you! I’ll be browsing around your blog to gain inspiration again! :)

Healthy Living: Hang In There-It’s only get better from here

Sunday, March 4th, 2012

So, Today, I was just sitting at home doing homework.. and procastinating.. as usual.

And, I was just thinking about my problems. I think about my relationship problem and the way I still struggle with myself and accepting who I am. And.. I just get all depressed and stuff. And then, I wish I didn’t have so much problems to worry about. I wonder how wonderful life would be without any problems. I wonder how crappy my life is right now.

And then, it hit me. My life isn’t crappy. And I don’t have that much problem. Sure, I have a few problems that drives me insane sometime, but everyone has problems. I’m not the only one struggling. And, then, I think about why I was sitting here and feeling all depressed in the first place. I don’t have to be unhappy. I do have control over my emotion. It’s such a waste of time to be unhappy.

I think that in this world, we all have problem. I think about 3fatchicks, and thought about all the bloggers on here. I’m sure you girls also have your own problems in life too and in the meantime, you also have to deal with your weight. And I realize, that there is a lot of stuff in this world that can mess with us..make us feel depressed. And sometime, in that depression, we lose sight of what is really important.

I don’t know, I’m not much of a writer. But I feel that I can make a difference in my life. I’m not perfect and nobody is. I have problems and bullshit I have to deal with on daily basis and I’m sure you have them too. But that is no reason to be sad or complain over. I think we can be the bigger person and deal with it, and make it better for ourself.

THus, I got up, and I decided I wanted to do something different today. Instead of shutting myself at home and procastinating, I will go out to lunch with people that I care about. I called up my baby cousin, and we went to eat thai food together. The meal was really fattening.. but we ate ourself silly. Just me and him. Haha, He ate so much that he could barely breathe. We didn’t talk much but I think we both had a really good time.

And.. that made my sunday! :) It really does. Today was worth living and there really is something worth celebrating for. Instead of being depressed, I choose to make my life better. I choose to have lunch with my baby cousin and that made me happy.

So, if you are reading my post now, and you are sad about your life. I just want to let you know that things does get better. You just have to hang in there during the hard time, and it will be better. However, good things don’t come by itself. You have to stand up and make it better for yourself. You have to be strong and be the stronger person.

This goes with everything we do. Whether we are suffering from our weight, our life goals, our relationship with other people.. or anything else. We have to make it better for ourself. And it start by doing something different.

For me today, it was loneliness. The feeling of inadequate.. the feeling of lost. I know, it’s weird. But that’s what I’m struggling over. And, by having lunch with my baby cousin, I feel happy. He cheered me up without even knowing it. And this “better” thing, didn’t happen because I continue to shut myself at home. NO, I go up and did something to improve the situation.

So, that’s what I learn. We gotta be proactive! :) THus, if you are frustrated and sad right now, you need to do something different to make yourself better. Things only get better only if YOU choose to make it better!!!

Here is a song that I feel really describe the moment:

[One Republic: Good Life] http://youtu.be/XckMvJYNZOc

Healthy Living: The Road Not taken

Friday, February 3rd, 2012

Awhile back, a famous american poet, RObert Frost wrote a poem called, “THe Road Less taken”..

it’s pretty long.. and some part gets very hard to understand, but here is what it said:

—-

THE ROAD NOT TAKEN:


Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I marked the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference”

—-

I could be wrong, and completely don’t understand what the poem means. But in my heart, I feel that it’s trying to say something about ..choosing a path that is right for you. The one.. that is less traveled by. ANd in a way, I feel that this path, my indeed be a harder and more treacherous one. But the poet took it anyway. Maybe he’s stupid. Maybe’s he couragous? Maybe.. just maybe, he had the confidence and ability to believe in his guts and instinct. Either way, he took the road less traveled.

I know, this had nothing to do with me. But, I could somewhat relate.

I have been through some really depressing time lately in the past few weeks. I recently discovered that I could be gay. That.. i could be harboring feelings for the same gender as me. I hated that feeling. I hated myself for having such feeling. It was wrong… or at least it felt wrong. It wasn’t normal. .. or that was my perception of normal. Nobody in my family is gay. None of my friend is gay. So.. why me? Why was I curse with such feeling.

I didn’t want it one bit. I wanted out. I wanted a way to stop all of this stuff. Just 3 weeks ago, I was living my life happily. Everything was fine.. I was going to lose weight.. and live a healthy life. Everything was fine.. until this came along. How am I going to live with myself? I don’t want to be gay. I don’t want these feelings and all the burden that comes with it. Eventhough I am fortunate to live in a society where people are now opening up to accepting gay people. I still don’t feel right. Maybe, I’m homophobic towards myself.

I couldn’t accept myself. Please.. go away. Make these things all go away. But it won’t, it can’t. And I can’t do anything about it. I am left with feeling that I harbor.

So.. I had a choice.. to choose to live with myself and accept myself the way I am. Or.. to pretend none of these feelings are here, and PRETEND everything is fine.. and continue living myself like none of these things ever happen. I can pretend.. and hold it within myself.. until I cannot hold it anymore. I can pretend to be normal. I can pretend to be straight. I can pretend i love a guy. I can pretend.

But…I know this path isn’t right. It isn’t something I would do to myself. I owe myself so much. ANd despite how much I hate myself right now, I still love myself too much to let myself to go back into the closet. I know this is crazy and stupid… but, I’m not going back into the closet.

I love myself too much to do that. ANd.. I don’t believe in living a life where I am lying to myself.. and to the people that I love. I don’ t think a life like that is worth living. I don’t think that is a life at all.

……

So, I’m going to do something. I am gay. And, I might not know what I’m getting myself into… but this is who I am. I’m going to accept myself. I’m going to love myself and I’m going to be okay. It is hard. Who would ever choose to be gay if they have a choice? I know I wouldn’t. I don’t want to be different. I want to be normal. I want to fall in love with a guy, and grow up having a family and children. That’s how I always imagined myself. Funny.. how things like these turn out.

I don’t like it. Not one bit. It’s going to take sometime for me to be comfortable with myself. Its going to take sometime for me to accept myself.. and be “okay”. Because I still feel that what I am doing is wrong. But, it’s okay. I’m going to be alright. I’m going to be strong and live my life the way I feel like I should live.

I want to live a life worth living. I want to pursue my dreams. I want to make my parents proud. I want to fall in love with the person I love, regardless of which gender they are. I want to be happy. And.. shit, it’s going to hard. But, fuck it. I’m going to live. I’m going to be me. And, I’m going to be better than okay. :)

..and NOW, i’m going to study!

Healthy Living Quarter Analysis: SUMMER REFLECTION

Saturday, September 17th, 2011

What did i do today? Nothing. Really. Nothing.

But I am motivated again on my weight. I was watching a reality TV show today, and as I was watching one of my favorite actress talking, I kinda felt really bad. I remember telling myself that I want to be some what as thin as her one day.. and I promised that I would work hard toward it. But, its been over 3 months since summer, and I am no where near my earlier goal of 115. Instead, I think I kinda gained weight.. b/c at the start of summer, I was 121? .. but now I’m 124.

But, in a way, I’m kinda glad. Before summer, I was motivated to lose weight b/c of 1 reason. I had a really pretty friend in my math class. And I looked up to her a lot. She was everything i wanted to be. She was BEAUTIFUL, THIN, SMART, SOCIAL, AND VERY VERY FASHIONABLE. She was, in my eye, an “ideal” girl. (And..she also look like my favorite korean actress!!) :D So, yea, she was pretty amazing.

So, everyday, I had classes with her, and I would always sit next to her and we would talk. So, everyday, I was constantly reminded of how I need to lose weight.. and how I need to be more “girlier” .. rather than a tom boy nerd.. that I am. And, so.. that’s how it all started. That’s how I made an attempt to research online and discover 3fatchicks :)

But, when summer ended, she left to visit her family for 3 months.. and I haven’t spoken to her once. And, I guess during that time, I kinda lost focus of my goal. I was no longer reminded of losing weight. And for a time, I didn’t even really care. But after I did poorly in my calculus class, it was like a slap in the face.

It was the end of July, and my GPA had dropped, my eye was puffy, and I was.. addicted to video games.. and I was back to 127 lbs. It was in that pit of failure I realize that I needed to do something for myself. I needed to get better for myself, and I need to lose weight for myself, and I better be there for myself. (And THANK YOU TO 3FATCHICK BLOG & jewlz280 , who were really supportive during those dark days.)

SO, I changed myself. It wasn’t easy. It was REALLY hard making a come back. (itsĀ  wasn’t like those hollywood movies, where the come back seems so easy)But, in all of those event, it feel good b/c I was doing the right thing. And, that’s how I got back on my feet.

However, I’m still very very far from my goal, and that of my weight 121..before summer. But this time, I know that once i hit 121, I will keep going! I will always admire my friend, but I know that I will still be okay without her present. Because, I am learning to be strong by myself. SELF-MOTIVATION! :D MUAHAHA

So, that is my story. But there is something I feel about the people in 3fatchicks

In my very end, I think we are all here at this blog b/c we care for ourselves. We love ourselves and we know we are capable of reaching that ideal weight and living a healthy and happy life.Thus, we will push ourselves each and every second of the day to achieve our dream. Losing weight is not easy. (OH, I’m sure you all know this by now) but losing weight is not impossible and it is possible for you and me. I know the route to losing weight is long.. and treacherous. ANd many many time, we fall off our track due to illness, sadness, depression, or just unfortunate events in our lives. (And with more time you spent on this blog, you’ll notice people come and go. ) But, we always manage to come back here and blog about our day and our weight. (haha) it’s because we care for ourselves. Nobody is holding a gun to our head forcing us to do this. We are doing this b/c we know we can do it, and we NEED to do it for ourselves!

B/C when you reach that “ideal” lbs, people around you will be very surprised how beautiful, fit, and healty you looked!! But you won’t, Because YOU knew all along that you were this beautiful and healthy, and fit! :) That’s why you are putting the effort now, to reach the place where you know you belong.

So, this is the end of my reflection for the summer.With this, I welcome FALL!

It’s fall now. There is only so many months left before the new year. Let’s make the best of this last few months. :D READ… SET.. GOO!! :)

PS: My grammar is all over the place. Some of my sentence doesn’t even make sense. But, I like it. :)

The Second ACT

Thursday, August 11th, 2011

Today, I declare a revolution on my summer.

Summer is almost over. I only have 2 more months left before school starts again. So, for the rest of the summer, I want to use my time efficiently to improve myself for the better.

After getting out of the dump from the game addiction, sickness, and grades, I am ready to declare a second ACT for this summer

What is going to change:

1. New Time management skill & strategy will be developed and tested this summer in order to prepare for “use” when school start.

2. Whitening my teeth & dentist check-up

3. Reorganized closets & clothes & books for the new year

4. Finish Learning Organic Chemistry

5. Finish Organic Chemistry Lab Intro

6. Gym 5 days a week

7. Relearn how to play piano

8. Skim through Bio Book & prepare for future reading

9. Finish 2 reading books.

10. Prepare MCAT Literary test.

11. Design & built a Home Photostudio

12. Produce a my Maplestory drama series

13. Prepare & Produce Volunteer Service

14. Relax time with parents & friends

This is my Goal List for the Rest of Summer. I am going to get off my lazy butt and start making things happen!

I absolutely have no idea how I am going to achieve it all.

Healthy Living: It’s time to Shine.

Sunday, July 24th, 2011

Life is tough. I have to admit it. It’s extremely tough.

I’m going through a very tough time at the moment:

-I’m going through a game addiction withdraw.

-I’m burn out from summer school

-I got a final for my multivariable class this wednesday

-I do now know how to even start studying for math..

-I made my parents dissapointed in me..

-I need to get that “A” in math.. for my GPA

-I’m gaining weight.

-I made my mom cry.. (the worse thing ever)

Yea.. life is tough.

But…

Who ever said it was going to be easy?

no.. life was never easy. We all face problems in our lives. But overcoming difficulties is what we live for. We are alive to make things better for ourself and the people around us.

We live to smile, to make other smiles.

We live to overcome all the challenges that life throws at us.

We live not to just survive.. but to succeed and prosper.

And that is what I learn from 3fatchicks.

Many of us are here with the same goal to lose weight. But soon, we start sharing our lives on here and we make friends. They supports us during our dark time, and we can never be grateful enough.

So, back to my story. There’s all this problem that is thrown at me right now. Tonight is probably the darkest hours of my whole entire summer. Guess what I’m gonna do?

I’m going to make it. No.. I’m going to BEAT IT! I’M NOT GONNA LET ANYTHING STAND IN MY WAY. Whether its gaming addiction, whether its multivariable calculus, whether its the competition, whether it’s family problem.

I’m gonna SURVIVE AND SUCCEED. YOU BETTER BE LOOKING.. b/c BY THIS WEDNESDAY. I’m gonna go and get The “A” I deserved for MY MULTIVARIABLE CALCULUS CLASS!!!!!!!!!!!!! + i’ll go the gym right after! :) haha

The Return

Wednesday, July 13th, 2011

I have been extremely bad. I have vanish from this forum for nearly a week. I got addicted to Maplestory again and forgot about everything. Even myself… it was one of the reason how i became fat in the first place.

But today, when I took my math quiz, and realized how unprepared I was,.. it woke me up. My grades was my wake up call. But I’m back now and I have no intention of falling behind on losing weight. I GOT A BODY TO WORK FOR! and hopefully, one day, become 117! :)

I need to learn how to balance my life with school, losing weight, and playing games in the summer! :) haha

Healthy Living Quarter Analysis: Grades + Father Day

Sunday, June 19th, 2011

Quarterly Assessment:

Today, I want to assess my quarterly activities.

I recently adopted Healthy Living in the beginning of my 3rd Quarter of my freshman year in college. During this 3 months, I have learn a lot and lost nearly 10 lbs. (Nearly…) Meanwhile, my grades is doing “okay”. But I’m still disappointed in it.

The Academic Side: First , I feel very disappointed in myself. I wanted to get straight A’s this quarter in college, and I “kinda” got it, but it wasn’t perfect. I finish the year with a 3.8 GPA. For a regular college student, this GPA is good, however, for a pre-med student, it’s not enough. My first year in college GPA was suppose to be my buffer GPA, for the next 3 years. The classes, the students, and the competition is going to get a lot harder in the next 3 years. SO, I needed a buffer GPA. However, my current GPA doesn’t allow me enough buffer room. This mean, I need to maintain this GPA for the next 3 years! (which is extremely hard…Thus, I’m kinda disappointed in myself) In order to secure a seat for me in UCLA Medical school (or any Medical school in California), I need a 3.8 GPA by the time of my application (which is 4th year). This brings to my concern, how am I going to maintain my GPA that high, when next year is going to be the killer year of all pre-med?

The Healthy Living Side: As for my weight, overall, it’s pretty good. I lost a significant amount of weight, to the point my I notice the changes in my clothes size. I am very happy and proud of myself. However, I could have done better, a lot better. I still need to lose to 115. So, I’m far from accomplishing this.In addition, I notice that my look have distracted me from my grades. I worry more about my look, and spends less time studying. I waste so much time on looking up clothes and make-up tutorials rather than studying. And I am still unable to manage certain amount of calories that I can eat.

RESOLUTION:

The Academic Side: It’s really all my fault. I got no one to blame other than my carelessness self. I had complete control over my grades, but I didn’t do it to the best of my abilities. I procrastinated, made stupid decisions, and did not give it “my all” 100% of the time. There are days where I was extremely lazy. I regret it. But, I am willing to accept all of my flaws. No matter what GPA I get or any difficulties I face in my life, IT WILL NEVER PREVENT ME FROM GETTING INTO A MEDICAL SCHOOL! I WANT TO BE A DOCTOR! And I know I’ll be the BEST doctor to the best of my abilities. There are so much things I want to do with this profession. So much people I want to help.

However, even though I accept myself for my flaws, it does not mean I am happy with it. So, This summer, I am taking summer classes to Improve my GPA. I will practice better studying strategies and methods to improve the effectiveness of my studying skills. I will need to discipline myself. I am going to make it happen!

The Healthy Living Side: I am going to continue Healthy Living. I am going to keep my calories intake at the 1200-1500. Also, I’ll be going to the gym this summer. I will get up at 5:30 every morning, drive to UCI, and work at the gym, and attend class at 8am. So, this will allow me to 1 hours of exercise per day.

By the end of this month, I want to be 120 lbs. By the end Summer, I want to be 115 lbs.

Final Goal: In the next school year, I want to kick ass in my classes! And I want to look good doing it! :)

NOW.. i will need to plan to make this happen! Because..

“Nothing in life, that is ever worth it, comes easy”

Happy Father Day :)