Healthy Living: Love & Loss

Dear 3fatchicks,

I don’t know why, but I always find myself back to here whenever I feel emotional. You been here for me to share my joy and my failure. It’s been nearly a year since I started on here, and let’s just say, we been through some crazy stuff together.

Today, I want to talk about something that is close to my heart. I recently developed a feeling toward someone in my school. I wasn’t interested in that person at first. I really didn’t. But after we started talking & texting, something really grow on me. I knew I shouldn’t think anything of it, but I guess, I fell for that person. But the thing is, that person already have a signficant other. I knew I was playing a losing game, and I should have walk away.. far away as possible. And I did just that, or at least I tried. And sometime, i feel like I have gotten ride of these feelings, but some day, it comes back to me.. and it hurts like hell.

I don’t know how I fell for this person. And, I really can’t tell that person. I pretend nothing is wrong, I keep quiet. I don’t let that person know how I feel. I guess, it’s because I didn’t want to disrupt their relationship with their significant others. I know I don’t have a chance with this person. Well, at least not in this circumstances.

There is nothing to do, except keep myself distracted. I have finals coming up, I will use to that keep me busy. But at some late night, I can’t help my mind wander. ANd the feeling comes back. But WAIT, before this post gets anymore depresssing, I’M going to end it here.

I’m not going to let this get to me. Sure, it hurts, but I been through more shit than this. I still got myself to work on. I still have dreams and goals to reach. I still need to get to 115! :) I still need to make my parents proud. I still need to get to med school one day. And I STILL need to develope my photography skill. AND. I have a great suppport system. :)  My family, my friends, and even the people on 3fatchicks. I feel very fortunate. I don’t know what I’m moping about! :) I must remain strong! :D

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