Well world, It’s another sunday.
Okay, It’s 8:00 AM. I like the morning. There is something about the morning that make everything feels better, clearer, and more.. hopeful. I believe in the day and I believed that each day have something new and exciting instore for us.
I would be lying to you if I told you that my life right now is full of rainbow and sunshine. There are always something things wrong. If it’s not my grades, then it is my social life. If it’s not my social life, then there is something wrong with me. I don’t know, so much bullshit going on. But then again, I would be completely lying to you If I told you that I hate everything that is going on right now. Because it isn’t true either.
Just yesterday night, I went through an emotional breakdown. I felt that there was a storm raginging in my head. I still struggle with my sexual orientation.. and my bio midterm didn’t go that great either. Also, I have been procastinating and have not done anything product this weekend.. and I have a midterm coming up pretty soon for Ochem.
Wow, crazy right? Yea, for me, its seems pretty bad. But I’m sure many of you have it a lot rough than me with your problems. I know I shouldn’t complain… and my trouble may seem trivial to yours.
So, there is always going to be something wrong. And, I guess I will have to suck it up, and learn how to fix it.. and make my life a little better. And.. through all of these tough time, I still want to be true to you.
I want to let you know that I’m happy despite all of these mess up things. Because at least I feel I was put on this earth for a reason, to take care of my problem, and hopefully do some good to other. But, let me just fix myself before I can go out and save mankind. HAHAHA 😀
As for my weight, it’s been staying at 125. I don’t know what to do with it. I guess all I can do is “hang-in-there” and wait till I have time to exercise. I tried to watch what I eat but I have not been couting calories. I think I should start again, because I am fearful I might fall back up. I don’t know how I will ever reach to 120.. and even hit 115? I need to change myself and make myself in to a better person and live up to the expectation I have set for myself. You can tell I’m pretty frustrated at myself right now because I can’t even lose weight.. or keep it at 120. I told myself I’ll reach 115 one day.. but today, it seem so far away…
But, let’s not rush anything, and let be patient. I will try out other methods.. My eating schedule have changed dramatically this year because I am spending less time at home and more time in the library. This should help me with my studies.. but it doesn’t help me with my weight. I need to “move” more. And.. yet I still cannot find the time. I need to set my priority straight.. and really have the time to take care of myself. Since.. i do owe it to myself where I am today.
Okay, now, I should get back and start my studies.. because I didn’t do anything in the last 2 days.. and school is tomorrow. But again, things will be alright. I know it. Let’s stay positive!!! 🙂