Healthy Living: A Complete Mess

Well world, It’s another sunday.

Okay, It’s 8:00 AM. I like the morning. There is something about the morning that make everything feels better, clearer, and more.. hopeful. I believe in the day and I believed that each day have something new and exciting instore for us.

I would be lying to you if I told you that my life right now is full of rainbow and sunshine. There are always something things wrong. If it’s not my grades, then it is my social life. If it’s not my social life, then there is something wrong with me. I don’t know, so much bullshit going on. But then again, I would be completely lying to you If I told you that I hate everything that is going on right now. Because it isn’t true either.

Just yesterday night, I went through an emotional breakdown. I felt that there was a storm raginging in my head. I still struggle with my sexual orientation.. and my bio midterm didn’t go that great either. Also, I have been procastinating and have not done anything product this weekend.. and I have a midterm coming up pretty soon for Ochem.

Wow, crazy right? Yea, for me, its seems pretty bad. But I’m sure many of you have it a lot rough than me with your problems. I know I shouldn’t complain… and my trouble may seem trivial to yours.

So, there is always going to be something wrong. And, I guess I will have to suck it up, and learn how to fix it.. and make my life a little better. And.. through all of these tough time, I still want to be true to you.

I want to let you know that I’m happy despite all of these mess up things. Because at least I feel I was put on this earth for a reason, to take care of my problem, and hopefully do some good to other. But, let me just fix myself before I can go out and save mankind. HAHAHA :D

As for my weight, it’s been staying at 125. I don’t know what to do with it. I guess all I can do is “hang-in-there” and wait till I have time to exercise. I tried to watch what I eat but I have not been couting calories. I think I should start again, because I am fearful I might fall back up. I don’t know how I will ever reach to 120.. and even hit 115? I need to change myself and make myself in to a better person and live up to the expectation I have set for myself. You can tell I’m pretty frustrated at myself right now because I can’t even lose weight.. or keep it at 120. I told myself I’ll reach 115 one day.. but today, it seem so far away…

But, let’s not rush anything, and let be patient. I will try out other methods.. My eating schedule have changed dramatically this year because I am spending less time at home and more time in the library. This should help me with my studies.. but it doesn’t help me with my weight. I need to “move” more. And.. yet I still cannot find the time. I need to set my priority straight.. and really have the time to take care of myself. Since.. i do owe it to myself where I am today.

Okay, now, I should get back and start my studies.. because I didn’t do anything in the last 2 days.. and school is tomorrow. But again, things will be alright. I know it. Let’s stay positive!!! :)

2 Responses to “Healthy Living: A Complete Mess”

  1. susana Says:

    Dear 2hotinhere, I am glad you are posting again. I think maybe you cannot see the whole picture because of your age…You say “I was put on this earth for a reason, to take care of my problem, and hopefully do some good to other.” What would that problem be? School? Lucky you CAN go to school. In my country not all kids get to go, and many who do will never get through secondary school because they will be sent to work instead. Your sexual orientation? All sex is normal, they say, except not having any. You will fall in love lots of time, and probably with very different people. Relax and wait to see what happens… Your weight? You have a healthy weight. If you obsess with it, you will put on weight. Try to stay at that weight and improve on the quality of your food and on your physical activity. Don’t force your body to lose a weight you don’t need to lose, because you will get fatter instead.
    Your age is very, very difficult. The hardest. Take it easy, look at the big picture, and you will feel better. At your age social life sucks always. I think that growing up is, after all, getting used to all that and making the best of it. I did not have many friends back then and still feel uncomfortable when around too many people, but I am now able to build very good one-on-one relationships with my friends, and I think most people like me. But it took me practically 25 years to get to where I am… So, girl, take it easy. Love yourself, love those around you, don’t expect to be happy and work for other people’s happiness. You’ll be OK!

  2. journey2skinny Says:

    Sometimes what works is to just let it happen and see where the path leads you. I know.. totally sounds like something that came out of a fortune cookie lol but really nothing good comes out from overanalyzing something and beating it to death.

    It will come to you. Just stay true to yourself :)

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