Nothing stays the same…e v e r

     It surely has been a long hiatus from the blog world, although I do ready Sista Pats, 310 & Losin’ it in Paradise fairly often. I guess I just have not felt inspired in my own world..enough to blog about it. but here I am, going to give it a go.

   News..new…what is new. Oh I have the hives..over a month now and they don’t know why. Now I am on 20mg reactine…other things havent worked and I am looking like a 1940’s waif scrathcing all the time. Big huge freaking hives..covered in them! Day and night, the bloddy things never rest!

  Jake..my big goof dog…started having siezures at night..and lethargic int he day. The vet continously gave the wrong diagnosis and ignored the concerns I had regarding his rapid weightloss. Then they dicovered he had a mass in his abdomin. Off to P.E.I Vet College for a consult with him. A 4hr drive to the place and he was awesome..he hadn’t ever been on a long trip like that. With camera/video of seizures, xrays and medical info we met with the 2 vets. They showed me a huge mass on the xray. They also said because of the video of his seizing, they thought it was a brain tumour & an abdomin tumour. But leave him with them for 3 hours to do their own tests and then come back. As soon as I hit the parking lot I broke down. This boy (dog) has never caused me any problems except for a few (3) skunk attacks and a few fear bites. He is sweet, goofy and absolutely wonderful..and I might lose him. Right away I went back to the discussion DH & i had about quality of life vs quantity. I wasn’t going to even contemplate brain surgery for him. He is 11yrs old and that wouldn’t be fair.. We sat at a Tim Horton’s and had tears & tea for the next few hours. I had texted everyone to let them know what was going on as I couldn’t talk to them..I couldn’t say anything without bawling.

   Went back to the vet..they came out with better news. they had done tests & his blood sugar was so low..so they did it again and it wouldnt register on their machine. So they thought that we were dealing with a tumour secreting insulin constantly…causing seizures. They beleived his quality of life for him would be better than before…and they recommended it. The vet (Vlad( said he originally had been trying to figure out how to have the talk about quality with me until the tests showed low BS.)

 We left my boy there…but with a better heart & a hopeful heart. He cleared the operation, a 13cm tumour hanging off his intestine..he lost 1.4litres of blood too..and for 4 days he would not eat much for the vet. Been a long haul, but my boy is getting better. Nice to see he is also gaing weight back!

   Dad got married in may..did not have to be the photographer after all. The 4 of us siblings gathered at my brothers house after that night to remember Mom. I don’t know if Dad & his wife liked that or not, but they had their moment, it was our time to deal with it. My older sis wrote a letter to Mom and read it to us. None of us had dry eyes. It said allot and asked for alot of forgiveness as they fought 2 weeks before Mom passed away..and hadn’t spoken since. Don’t delay in getting over things Chickies…a lifetime of regret is a heavy burden to bear.

   My bathroom has been ripped aprt for 3 months..all the help never really helped, the orig plumber really sucked. The others never showed up and now the other one, who is great when he is here…has 13hrs here in 2 weeks. But at least he knows what he is doing! Hopefully the bathroom looks awesome..because we may be selling! Yes Chickies…I am moving back to where my family is! or at least I hope I am! My company had an opening in another branch & it seems “I” am a valuable commodity! Yep, true…3 stores want me!!! Not enought to pay for my move, but that is ok. I will be able to get where i want to go. Stay with my younger Sis & her family for a decent rate, and commute back home on weekends. It won’t be easy, but until everything gels, it will do. DH doesn’t thing moving for family is the right reason…no sense in trying to change his mind either. I will just have to do the best I can and we will have to make the best of it. Of course I have to still interview with the HR & Manager, but I expect that will be well.

 

Weight wise…SUCKING. yeah gained 10lbs back. stress is a joy to behold when it comes to a diet isn’t it?

 

Hope you are all well chickies..

No more room on the bus

      or at least it kind of feels that way. I feel like I have filled the bus up with the past month or 1’s events..and have dragged that bus with me!!

     let’s see…dad got married in May. Mom has been gone 2 years..he was pretty depressed. I saw a side of her (the new wife) i was not so crazy about on the wedding day, but regardless, I do hope he is happy with her. I heard from him yesterday for the 1st time since the wedding. He sent me an email asking for technical help ;(  .  After their wedding that night, we kids (is that the right grammer?) went to brothers house and remembered Mum and just talked and laughed. perhaps the wife feels miffed about it..

        This weekend my brother will be holding a 1st family day..all the kids, grand kids and my dad and his wife all will converge at his place on Saturday. Should be interesting. this will be a 1st let’s hope not a last.

        My male dog jake has had a rough time lately. Was having siezures and ended upi having to bring him to a vet college 4 hours away. He ended up having a 13cm tumor on his entestine which was secreting insulin constantly rather than just when you eat. His blood sugar was so low it wouldnt register on their machines. 6 dyas later I was able to go and pick him up. He is still pretty weak. he lost 12 lbs in those days…and he had over 1litre of blood around the tumour..so everything is wacky right now.

 

it’s mah birthday *yay*

  Yes indeed it is! It started off really nice with s/o waking me up with a cuppa cold-blaster tea ( yes I have that danged cold again) he made me eggs & toast, packed my lunch and is making me supper! bbq’d cod (wrapped in foil with onions, lemon & garlic) and steamed green beans…Considering he HATES onions, yet he cut them up for my supper, I really feel special *grin* He also bought me a book i wanted, The Wealthy Barber…

   After lunch I found a cupcake with pink sprinkes by my computer from a co-worker..and a funny card. Those simple things really really make a difference in a day.I dreamt of Mum last night. She needed something from me, and was happy. It made me glad to see her smile and be happy…I still miss her.

   Dinner was awesome! the fish was cooked just right..no strong fish taste!! and enough for lunch tomorrow too!!

 

 

I hope your day was as good as mine….Happy Monday everyone, may it be a blessing to you today!

Shiney Sundays..and couch potatoes

  At least my kitchen floor is starting to look shiny on a Sunday! I was on my hands and knees scrubbing corners etc this am. I just wanted to get moving and this had been one of the things I have wanted to do for a long time. I will pay for this tomorrow…between my fingers for the scrubbing & my knees…but I am happy with the results!!!! Some days it just helps to get clean doesn’t it? Unclutter some!

   I have been wavering on my Herbal magic weight-loss journey. It is a great plan but I have been mucking about. I was half considering isagenix, as a customer is on it and has done a-freaking mazing…but after more and mor reading of it, I just am not sure it is for me. I worry about putting any weightloss back on! So, I have become more eager so to speak to follow the plan. I do great for brekkie, lunch is usually a nice salad green mix, with 1 cup strawberries and raspberry oil dressing (yum) and another fruit. I am allowed 3 oer day so I usually have them during the day. It seems to be the evening I am struggling with…I think as soon as we start the bathr destruction it might help change some. Keeping busy in the evenings is what I am not good with. Quite frankly, I am a lazy azz. I am mentally beat when i come home and i laze around on the computer instead of going for a walk with the dogs or doing some other thing for the house… I am a lazy azz…and I absolutely hate that about myself. I think the computer is what I get caught with.  I think back before I had one and I was much busier…much more outgoing with Jes etc.                                                                             So tell me chickies, how do YOU do it..limit your time to the net? I sit down , grab the laptop and off I go….or veg in front of the TV. I need to GET OFF MY AZZ! No kids, just dogs, bad knees, health issues, weight issues…..and completely unmotivated to do the move thing..The s/o won’t help, he hates excercise, remotely healthy food etc..so he is a no-go for “real support”..and besides, this journey is really about ME, so I need to do something extra MYSELF….for myself…

                                 

blue skies & Wednesday always make me smile…

or at least right now since I am off for the day. A day off, much needed, 2pm and I am STILL in my jammies! Spent most of the day reading blogs, doing dishes, watching tv..just giving myself a better frame of mind. 2 meals in today and NO cheating..ok, maybe a bit extra cheese but that is ok..this morning the scale showed me down a smidge..better down a smidge vs up a gain right?

Later after the s/o gets up, I think I might invite him to go to the new small bookstore in town. Buy him a coffee, sit and look at their selection of books. Small but new, so worth a checkout! I used to love the chapters designs, but now that they are indigo, the seating isn’tthere and you can not bring a book over to the starbucks section where they have chairs, so lets look elsewhere :). variety is always good.

The new shower should be at the store on Friday. we haven’t started to rip everything apart yet, no sense if it arrived damaged etc, so as soon as it lands on Friday at the store, we will start to take the bathroom apart…with help of course! Friends from work have offered (&I accepted) their help to do the bathroomm. The floor needs to be repairs after the flush is taken out, the entire bathroom stripped down to the studs and re-built from there. I AM SO EXCITED that it might work out well and I will have an awesome new bathroom!! And maybe not have to run around in the shower to get wet! hahah lack of pressure due to (hopefully) the difuser in the spout being defective. new shower heard etc..hopefully means enough pressure to make red marks! hahaha….this will be a welcome change from the 40 year 3 tone green ceramic tiles…*ugh* looks like a subway, not in a good way either! The grout was coming apart, it did not seem to fit right either, so this is good. if the time comes as well for me to have a tkr done on either knee, this will work out better for getting into! I am so excited!! this is the new shower..(no, we wont have a tub, but I dont use a tub, & yes re-sale might be affected, but that is ok.)————->

 Ok chickies, going to go and check on a few more blogs, then finish doing the dishes and GET DRESSED! Hahaha….lazy girl me!

 

Blessings & peace chickies, may this be a wonderful day for you!

Baby Bunny Monday

   Have you ever seen a 3 week old bunny? Have you ever held a 3 week old bunny? If you have not, let me tell you how wonderul that was! I held 2 for quite ahile this afternoon and I am in love! My gosh those sweet lil things..soft grey furr and the sweetest face! i forgot to see if they even had lil tails!! A girl at work has 2 bunnies and..well, you can figure it out…bunnies are now separated and poppa bunnie is getting “the worx”. I had said I wanted to see them so she had her husband bring them in this afternoon when he came to get her..heaven..that is all I can say. If you are an animal fan you will get what I mean, if not, well…you ARE missing out on some of the sweetest things! Bunbuns!

      I went for a weigh in today…dang Mars bars diet. Actually, s/o said I was an equal opportunity eater. Sweets or pretty much anything I shouldn’t have and is in the house, I see it I will want it. He had me laughing so hard I had tears coming down my face..I think it was a bit about the stress relief of facing the dreaded weigh in and humour…all is good even though i was UP..Like 6 or 7 lbs up..but at that point, I was wearing jeans and it was an after work w.i..2 things I never do for a w.i. But it can be changed. ;o)

      Having the kidlets yesterday had me zonked out like a light…I was so conmfortbale today i did not want to get out of bed! I have nice high thread count sheets and they make the bedding feel like a duvet with the nice feel. Sounds odd, but feels good! I think the temo was around 6degrees last night…but with lots of bankets and those sheets…both Jake and i slept soundly.

            The kids had the dogs all petted out yesterday..never thought I would see that!! HA! Mckenzie was learning how to say new words, 2 years old and she could murder some pronounciations better than anyone! You could not help but laugh along and smile in your heart. jake is bigger than she is, but she was not afraid in the least bit..funny considering she doesn’t like bees! Small/big…she followed Jes all over the place. I will post some photos tomorrow…Sunday was a good day indeed….yes indeed it was.

 

hope your days are good as well my little chickies!

Sundays’ child is full of grace

  Or full of hotdogs, water & sunshine…at least today they were! My Godson Noah & his sister (our neice and nephew) were over today. Now considering we do not actually have children of our own, this was our fun time.  the kidlets had a blast, so did the pups. We coloured all over the driveway with chalk, hopscotch, skipping ropes (my knees do not let me jump) and I eventually gave Baby Mac (she is 2) (aka McKenzie) a bath. She loved having her feet washed…I think I must have washed any ridges of her feet! Then she swam some, and then we worked on getting the garden out from under her fingernails. how can little ones get so dirty? Who really cares as long as it is safe & they have fun right? Now they should be back in their home city and the house is quiet…dogs are on their respective beds (yes really ours…) exhausted and petted out..never expected to see that! Dogtown has been watched and I am slowly winding down.

            My sister (her kidlets) & I went to look for something at the 2nd hand clothes store and we talked about the upcoming wedding of Dad’s. Neither of us want to go. Not that we begrudge Dad someone to love him, just how he has seemingly forgotten everyone else…I STILL do not know the time when the wedding it! I THINK it is the 27th of May, or maybe the 23rd…I really have NO idea! This lady said she wanted the family to be involved in their lives….it isn’t happening. I was the only kid in the family on her side and now Dad & her have seemingly alienated all of us. My brother wouldn’t even go to the wedding but it seems he has to stand up on Dad’s side. None of us are included (that is ok) although she did tell me she wanted to me make sure anything they borrowed was returned after the wedding. Uh, excuse me, but I live in a different city  and have no plans on hanging around, especially since I do NOT own a 1/2 ton truck to do that…nor would I rent one for it! But Stacy & I will bring Nan with us to the wedding if she feels up to it. She loves Stacy, although she constantly forgets his name. She knows she forgets and we laugh about it. He is good for her, and it helps me. Having Nan there would mean something to Dad *since he did ask her if she would come* …even though the ass hasn’t made good on his promise to visit her again in the last month..I guess he has been quite busy..I mean, he only retired the next day! *dripping with sarcasm* and after all, one can NOT be expected to drive a whole 7 minutes down the road to visit his Mom…especially since she isn’t in control of her bankbook anymore. The truth is hard & cold….and sad.

     Onto other things…discovered a neat drink..Sparkling berry aquafina water….nice, tasty & it HAS to be better for me than the diet coke I have been drinking lately. I know there is some rule about calories vs sodium when it is too much, but dang i can’t remember it!!!! CRAFT disease strikes again.

     Watched Dr Phil the other day. Robin the wife was on it regarding hormone imbalances. It has me thinking..I am going to make an apt with my Dr and tell her I want the tests. it really answers allot of questions for me. I started researching it after the show, I was like “uh-huh, uh-huh, check..hey..THAT is ME!!!!! So, it would make sense..more sense than allot of things lately..

 

So, off to bed I go…thankful for the great day with my family & Stacy..& hopefully ready to tackle the week!

stinky dog no more!

 HA! the poor fella has no idea what his evil, mean Momma has planned for him at 10am! Off he and I will go for some special “just us” bonding time..to the self-serve dog wash! Yes fellow chickies, I cheat and do NOT ruin my crappy old tub to wash them..Been there, tried that, ended up having every towel soaked, every wall with wet dog hair applique….and wet dog. NO FRICKIN way again! hahaha..*until the shithead finds another skunk) I have 2 dogs which are very close to each other. many times inseparable would be the correct word. Take one and the other one panics..The other one would be “Jessie-Blue…my heart dog. She and I have been doing lots of bonding lately…Snakers spends time with his poppa while he sleeps.(unless I make us all get outside and do something..then this happens. 

    Unless I take them out they don’t usually get out. But they were my dogs before he ever came so it is still my dogs and my responsibility. I digress..So this dog who hates baths, toenails being clipped AND being blow-dried is about to get that done. *oh happy happy joy joy*. I should work off lots of calories there….good thing they give you a long plastic apron to wear…seriously! Did I mention he is the ize of a small horse and weighs a mere 108lbs??? Think I might actually even dare to bring my camera…my poor boy. He is so sweet and loving…and a dork…and I still manage to take photos at every chance I can.

   Weight wise, Up & Down…and not following much except for the Mars bar plan. I do not even like Mars bars!!!!!!! Following something a parent used to eat all the time. Dumbazz that I am! I found out on facebook yesterday that my centre that corporate took over from the previous owner last month…is closing. lovely. just lovely. Not happy over that. especially since I found out through FACEBOOK! Nice to see corporate cares enough to call their customers. I guess i will have to call the herbal magic centre next town over. there is another corporate owned one the other side of the city, it is the one the previous owner babied..while the other 2 were so badly managed..and I do not want to go there. The streets are congested and badly laid out,you pay to get across the bridge etc. truth be-known, I am just being a pissy-face about it. there..now gimme back my lollipop..tantrum over! hahahah (I hope)

    Sister, bil and GodKidlets are coming up tomorrow for a visit. I can’t wait!  I have been getting closer with her over the past few months (only one out of the family) and she and I have been really doing well. I borught my Jessie-Blue with me the last 2 times as my main objective was to see Nanny. You can bring in Jes and it gave Nan some more happiness to see a dog in her own space, where she did not have to share…I really believe it helped quiet her mind some. With dementia that can be needed as well. I would love to bring jake to see her, she was always her fave dog, but he is HUGE and he might frighten the others..who knows? Maybe next time I will! I would love too…I can see poor Jes squirming like a fiend the entire time Jake and I are gone and s/o getting angry because HE can’t sleep! hahaha. If it wasn;’ for causing Jes stress I WOULD do it..just to be a meanie. He always sleeps anyways. get up for a few hours, play a game or watches stupid tv..whines and goes back to bed because he has to work nights. (he wont go and really try to find a better job either although there are tonnes around here. If he cant sit at a call centre he doesnt want it)

           Was looking at my lawn the other day and saw some moss growing! ANythign green at the time was great too see! But how can I kill the moss without the grass as it is too tender right now to use anykind of a chemical? Or is it? what is best as well to get rid of strawberries, moss, weeds etc from your lawn? I do not mind using natural either, although you can usually tell who has the natural product lawn vs the weedman lawn..they are never as green or nice..the below pic is a field I like to take themt o run in…

 

   Oh well, time to drink my tea, eat a PROPER brekkie ( I think I just might need the energy with this am’s planned outting) and try to follow the plan today..and visit the neighboring towns Herbal Magic cente too.

 

Have a WONDERFUL Saturday chicklets….may it be a blessing to y’all!

 

He is Risen!


Good Friday & decisions

Today has started very early again thank you to Jes. I find my anger/annoyance with that pup getting the best of me today. When I realized that my heart broke. I don’t know what is up with her the past week at nights…if there is a sound going off and her thinking it is her collar or what, but she has been getting up on the bed, panting heavily and trembling..and she can tremble as in a 3.0 on the richter scale. It wakes me up and I can not keep letting her go outside ….skunks and raccoons are all over the place and those 2 dogs attract the blasted skunks! I think I am going to head out of town today and go and visit Nan, and my family…and I am going to do something I have not done in a long time..I am going to do the road trip with Jes. She and I used to be inseparable…but then came Jake and travelling with 2 dogs when one is not as sociable with other animals can be stressful. Then add S/O never wants to bring them anywhere (grr) so this will be her and I. I will go out this am and clean out the Jeep, lay down the back seat so she is nice and comfortable :)..bring a few diff leashes and her water bowl filled with ice. She will be a very happy dog! S/O can put up with a brooding Jake. HAHAHAHA! *oops*

 

       Today is a holiday here in Canada. A day off with pay for a reason I believe in. I will make good use of the day & will head out and visit Nan.

      I haven’t seen her in 3 weeks and I feel terrible about it. Since no one else has gone either.  Of course dad (note no capitalization there right now) did not honour his promise to visit Nan. Too much going on in his world he said. Oh, did I mention he retired again?? Yes, his fiancee and he are 7 minutes away from where Nan lives and he has too much crap going on in his life. Yet he wants Nan to come to his wedding. That means I will try and bring her…and if Nan can not comfortably handle it, I will leave the wedding..which not to be mean, but I do not even want to go now!

   He retired…and is marrying again in a few weeks..and he hasn’t even finished paying for Mom’s cremation from January 2006. He blew the money on jewellery and a camera…for himself. I thought this new lady was going to be good for him in many ways. But right now I see her being as foolish as him..and I find myself resenting both of them. Seriously resenting them. Since i was the only kid on their side out of the kids it might make things a bit difficult. i do not begrudge him marrying again. Not even that is is her…I do begrudge that he never felt it important enough except to pay lip service about getting Mom’s ashes home… and visiting his 94yr old MOTHER who us in a nursing home.

 This entry has a really angry vibe to it today it seems. I am thinking far too many of mine lately have had that. I need to get back to the basics of LIVING. Think about and be thankful for what I have vs what i do not. For what today stands for besides a holiday. Being grateful…perhaps that should be the word under the tattoo I want…something to think about. 

  Today I AM thankful for being someone who HEARS what God says…my because S/O doesn’t…that makes me sad. But I can not worry about him. I have to continue down that path and be grateful! Just like my weight loss path..it is mine to do..and I have to keep going…I have decided to put my food chart on the fridge door. I have roomies so I did not want them to know..but you know something, it is MY life, so why should it matter what THEY think?? Yes, revelations galore this am!

     May you all have a safe day chickies…much luv & blessings for continuing through this blog.

                  

I think I am many of these today..