Good Friday & decisions

Today has started very early again thank you to Jes. I find my anger/annoyance with that pup getting the best of me today. When I realized that my heart broke. I don’t know what is up with her the past week at nights…if there is a sound going off and her thinking it is her collar or what, but she has been getting up on the bed, panting heavily and trembling..and she can tremble as in a 3.0 on the richter scale. It wakes me up and I can not keep letting her go outside ….skunks and raccoons are all over the place and those 2 dogs attract the blasted skunks! I think I am going to head out of town today and go and visit Nan, and my family…and I am going to do something I have not done in a long time..I am going to do the road trip with Jes. She and I used to be inseparable…but then came Jake and travelling with 2 dogs when one is not as sociable with other animals can be stressful. Then add S/O never wants to bring them anywhere (grr) so this will be her and I. I will go out this am and clean out the Jeep, lay down the back seat so she is nice and comfortable :)..bring a few diff leashes and her water bowl filled with ice. She will be a very happy dog! S/O can put up with a brooding Jake. HAHAHAHA! *oops*

 

       Today is a holiday here in Canada. A day off with pay for a reason I believe in. I will make good use of the day & will head out and visit Nan.

      I haven’t seen her in 3 weeks and I feel terrible about it. Since no one else has gone either.  Of course dad (note no capitalization there right now) did not honour his promise to visit Nan. Too much going on in his world he said. Oh, did I mention he retired again?? Yes, his fiancee and he are 7 minutes away from where Nan lives and he has too much crap going on in his life. Yet he wants Nan to come to his wedding. That means I will try and bring her…and if Nan can not comfortably handle it, I will leave the wedding..which not to be mean, but I do not even want to go now!

   He retired…and is marrying again in a few weeks..and he hasn’t even finished paying for Mom’s cremation from January 2006. He blew the money on jewellery and a camera…for himself. I thought this new lady was going to be good for him in many ways. But right now I see her being as foolish as him..and I find myself resenting both of them. Seriously resenting them. Since i was the only kid on their side out of the kids it might make things a bit difficult. i do not begrudge him marrying again. Not even that is is her…I do begrudge that he never felt it important enough except to pay lip service about getting Mom’s ashes home… and visiting his 94yr old MOTHER who us in a nursing home.

 This entry has a really angry vibe to it today it seems. I am thinking far too many of mine lately have had that. I need to get back to the basics of LIVING. Think about and be thankful for what I have vs what i do not. For what today stands for besides a holiday. Being grateful…perhaps that should be the word under the tattoo I want…something to think about. 

  Today I AM thankful for being someone who HEARS what God says…my because S/O doesn’t…that makes me sad. But I can not worry about him. I have to continue down that path and be grateful! Just like my weight loss path..it is mine to do..and I have to keep going…I have decided to put my food chart on the fridge door. I have roomies so I did not want them to know..but you know something, it is MY life, so why should it matter what THEY think?? Yes, revelations galore this am!

     May you all have a safe day chickies…much luv & blessings for continuing through this blog.

                  

I think I am many of these today..

2 Responses to “Good Friday & decisions”

  1. HI, i appreciate your comment. I am Canadian , as well. Where are you in this vast country?
    Have a good road trip.
    HUGS!!

  2. I am in the Maritime Provinces! How about you?

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