Art Rock Star

I’m turning 25 this year. Damn it. 25. . Shouldn’t I have figured things out by now? Nope. Not me. I just finished my undergrad. Only took 6 years. Not to mention all the other drama and pain it took for me to get here: An overweight 24 year old white smoker with a degree in Fine Arts, living by her self, in a condo. I’m a painter, or more so I am a creative. This is my passion, my calling, and probably one of the most competitive and scrutinized fields to enter into. What really blows is that the art industry isn’t even about just the Art anymore. The work used to speak for itself. Nowadays you have to not only be talented, but you have to know art history, marketing, and networking like you have a doctorate in it, and you have to dress in the latest fashion and be model thin. It’s like you have to be an Art Rock Star. So now I have to conform, which is the last thing an artist wants to do. Art is about uniqueness and individuality.

So once again, here I am. 24 overweight white smoker who is now on a strict diet and exercise plan. I would LOVE to be known as a skinny artist, or at least not the fat artist.

I have the talent, So I am half way there. Now all I need to do is lose 150 pounds. hahah.

I am taking time out of my life to focus on my weight loss and getting healthy. I am not working or in classes, I am doing nothing but focus on my weight loss. I am so sick of my family suggesting the lap-band to me. I am going to lose the weight on my own. The old-fashioned way– exercise, diet, and a shit ton of therapy.

This process is an unraveling of years of painful emotions that get stirred up with each pound lost. I believe it takes work, It shouldn’t be easy. Nothing worth having is easy. I am kicking my ass. And when I hit my goal weight, it will be worth it. I will be happier, healthier, and I know I am never going back. I care about all of me. not just the outside. Not just the physical. It is just as important to go through this process for my body as it is for my mind, soul, and sanity.

And the world spins madly on…