So… I had kind of a breakthrough yesterday. Usually, I do great with eating while I am at work and then when I get home I am so starving that I don’t care what I eat as long as I get something in my system – and fast!

 

I tried something new yesterday.  I ate my biggest meal at LUNCH.  I made low-fat Dijon chicken with broccoli and brought it to work the next day (yesterday) and ate it for lunch.  I was not hungry when I got home from work. When I did finally eat dinner it was a salad with 4 oz of chicken.  I also did not crave snacks after dinner. 

 

I weigh myself everyday… when I weighed this morning I was down 1.2 pounds from yesterday… 160.8 to be exact. I am sure this is because I didn’t get a lot of sodium for dinner but a loss is a loss. I am almost back to pre-holiday weight. ;)  

 

If you are anything like me and are starving to death by the time you get home from work, try eating a large LUNCH and a small DINNER.  I know I will be taking this route from now on. J

So, I have managed to get back on the wagon.  I am eating clean and doing the plan that works best for me. Calorie counting and whole foods. I thought that since I went off plan for a month, I would see that dramatic loss in the beginning like I always do. NO Bueno. :(

I lost 1.6 pounds this week -  which isn’t bad and is actually very good considering my normal pattern but… seeing that 1.6 pound drop wasn’t as exciting because it is not a “new low.”  In other words, I am still working to get back to where I was before I fell off the wagon and got run over by it. :/

I know this is silly, but my husband is eating all of the same low calorie foods I am… just a slightly larger portion. He doesn’t need to lose weight and I don’t want him to lose weight.  I want to weigh less than him.  He weighs about 150. My goal is to weigh about 130.  I don’t know why it is so important to me that I weigh less than my husband but it is.  I want him to be able to easily pick me up. Stupid, I know. I have always wanted to be a petite woman and I am fairly tall (5′6.25”) so it never really worked out for me.

This was kind of a rambling post but I just wanted everyone to know I have gotten back on track. Yay me.

*sigh*

From Thanksgiving to New Years, I fell off the wagon somewhat and managed to gain a little weight.  I am back up to 163.6.  I had seen 159 four days in a row before Thanksgiving.  I am not completely disheartened though.  It could be worse - especially the way I was more-than-mildly indulging.  Five pounds could have easily been 10 so I am counting my blessings. 

This wasnt a surprise to me as I continued to weigh every day.  Despite seeing the number crawl up, I continued to eat the things I knew I shouldnt… Cookies, brownies, big plates of homemade spaghetti, all kinds of holiday foods, etc.

But now, I am starting fresh and staring 2012 directly in the eye. I will reach my goal this year. I can feel it. ;)

10 November 2011 Broke Through a Wall

10 Nov 2011 In: Weight Loss Journey

I saw 159.4 on the scale today.  I am finishing up TOM so I don’t know how long it will stay, but, I am happy just the same.  I also haven’t been eating as much due to some personal family stress so that is probably a major contributor to the loss.

It amazes me how jumping from 160 to 159.4 (a 0.6 difference) seems like such a major accomplishment. It isn’t even a pound but, since it is in the 150’s, I feel like I dropped 10 pounds overnight. My goal for November was to get to 155… I don’t see that happening but I am still striving to get as close to it as possible. I had a baby in April and we are going to see my husband’s relatives in Tennessee.  I know they don’t really care how I look, but I still want them to be surprised at how “easily” (yeah right) I dropped the baby weight. He has a cousin there that had a baby 9 weeks after me. she is somewhat snooty and everything is always about how wonderful she is… She gained about as much weight as I did so I will be excited to see how well she is doing with bouncing back to her perfect self. (I know I need to get a grip and not be so bitter… working on it. )

When I met my husband, I was 140 pounds.  I have 19.4 pounds until I reach that again. I have talked to him about my goals and he is super encouraging but thinks I look great now. I asked him how much he thought I weighed when we first got together.  His response: 125?  I probably have not weighed 125 since the 5th grade. This made me feel good, but I dont think I could ever weigh less than 135.

So, In conclusion… I have busted through my 160 wall.  Keep your fingers crossed for me that it sticks. ;)

The Woes of Water Weight

2 Nov 2011 In: weightloss woes

If you are a woman… you have been there.  You have eaten completely clean and on-plan.  You have downed almost a gallon of water and you are expecting to see some positive results on your scale the next morning and ***drumroll*** “I GAINED A POUND AND A HALF?!?!?” >:(

I am a daily weigher so I have gotten somewhat used to daily fluctuations -  but I still get more-than-mildly discouraged when I see the number go up when I have been seemingly doing everything right.  I was so busy with my 6-month-old child last night that I even had to skip dinner for myself. I drank so much water and didnt snack. Yet, I saw a 1.6 increase on the scale this morning. I brushed it off and then realized I am due for my TOM anytime now.  While this made me feel a little better I still feel betrayed by my body. :P

I dont understand why my body feels the need to punish me every 28 days because I didnt get pregnant that month. :/

A lot of people choose not to weigh every day because they get discouraged by fluctuations but the way I see it, If I was 159 one day and 162 the next (on my weigh-in day), I would get discouraged because I didnt see the loss the day before and I wouldnt know it was merely water weight.  That is what works for me, but everyone has their own plan.

Here’s to getting rid of bloat and water :cheers: (sparkling water)

Motivation & November Goal

1 Nov 2011 In: Uncategorized

Some days I have such motivation - others, it is a bit lacking.

When I have just gone to the grocery store and bought all of my healthy food, I feel invincible… like you could put creme brulee in front of me and I would stick my nose up at it. However, when it is TOM or I am feeling a little down - I will even eat jelly beans. I hate jelly beans.

I havent had any major binges since I started my plan.  I go off plan once in a while but still eat calories for maintenance.  For this, I am proud.

One of the biggest motivations for me is that I have already lost so much in these six months.  If I give it up now, I will stay the same or gain it back. BUT, if I stick with it, IMAGINE where I will be six months from now.

Each day moves me closer to that goal of mine. I have developed the attitude that this is not temporary and is a lifestyle change. I try to look at the big picture. It seems to be working. ;)

My Goal for November is to get down to 155.  I am currently holding steady at 161. :/ I know I can do this. :)

27 October 2011

27 Oct 2011 In: Uncategorized

I record my weight daily.  I have a chart in my bathroom right above my scale.  I know a lot of people have spreadhseets and charts online, but I am more of a hard-copy old fashioned kind of girl.  Seeing the numbers change (not always in the right direction) help to keep me accountable.  Having the numbers go up or down helps me to decipher what works for my body and what I should maybe avoid.  I have been the same weight for the past 5 days… 161.  I have had some halloween candy so I am not really so surprised.

My main vice when it comes to weightloss… Coffee with 1/2 & 1/2 and splenda.  I drink quite a bit of it.  It hasnt seemed to stall my weightloss yet, but it may do so in the future so I need to figure out a way to phase it out.  I do not like fat free 1/2&1/2… I dont like milk in my coffee or coffeemate creamers.   Coffee is like liquid candy to me… I just love it.

Lately I have been going to a local grocery store and getting a salad from the salad bar.   I use mostly lettuce and peppers.  The only thing I can fathom that is bad for me is the turkey chunks and small amount of cheese.  I use low-fat greek dressing… LOVE salad. I love food in general and wish I didnt.

My sister is naturally thin.  She is 13 months older than me and I have always weighed at least 40 pounds more than her.  She wears a 0 jeans. :/  I have learned not to be jealous of her as she has problems of her own.  SHe has developed a major drug problem and is actually entering rehab for the second time today.  Please pray for her.

I have never blogged before so be patient with me as I am still learning. :)

 

My Story

26 Oct 2011 In: Uncategorized

I am a 26-year-old female from Southern Maryland. My name is Robin and I have a very unhealthy relationship with food. I have been on and off diets since I was 11

I grew up in a military family. I work as a Government Contractor supporting the Navy. I had a great childhood.  My parents gave their lives to us kids, I am grateful to them for showing me the kind of parent I want to be. 

Before I moved to Maryland in 1998, I lived in Japan.  Japan is where I began to put on a lot of weight. I am not sure if anyone is aware -  but they are smaller people over there.  I was (in 6th grade) 5′6” and 163 pounds.  I was bigger than all of the women and most of the men.  I felt alienated and was treated as a minority. (There were not many white kids - mostly Philipino).  No one liked me because I was so different… This made me depressed and completely self-conscious.

When I found out we were moving away, I was ecstatic!  A fresh start, a new life, and a second chance.  I joined the volleyball team and began watching what I ate.  I got down to 142 by the time we got to Maryland. I got contact lenses and changed my clothes. I started 8th grade and to my surprise, I became “popular.”  I became comfortable and started to gain a little weight back. This made me nervous so I came up with a brilliant idea to eat ONLY CELERY.  I did this for several days and got so sick.  The weight I lost was gained back instantly.  I maintained this weight for a couple years and then got up to about 150 by 10th grade.  I joined cheerleading (somehow I managed to be Captain) and lost about 10 pounds.  I was back down to 140 and feeling great.  My senior year, I got a job at General Nutrition Center (GNC).  Most people would think this would be an excellent opportunity to learn more about health.  Wrong. I became addicted to the over-the-counter diet pills (when they still had ephedra in them).  I got down to my lowest weight of 132 and I became bulimic. My best friend and I would purge together. We did low-carb diets… well, NO CARB.  We lived on meat and cheese.  I remember eating a salad and throwing it up because I thought there were too many carbs in the lettuce. I struggled with the diet-pill and bulimia addiction for years. 

THEN, ephedra was taken off the market. I gained and gained and gained. 172 by the time I was 21. This was unacceptable. I went to my doctor and FORCED him to prescribe me Phentermine.  I told him that if he didnt give it to me, I would get it offline or on the black market.  I got down to 140 within 2 months. I felt fabulous.  I left my abusive relationship and began to have fun again. That was in early 2010.

I met the man who is now my husband. I got pregnant.  The biggest fear about pregnancy for me was the weight gain. I vowed not to gain more than 25 pounds.  I gained 75.  Pregnancy for me was a license to gorge.  I ate everything - and everything I ate was bad for me.  My son is comprised of primarily donuts and Thai noodle soup. :/ I got up to about 215 by the time I gave birth. Within a week and a half of having him, I lost 35 pounds. I was down to 180. And then it stalled.  Since May, I have been eating whole foods and counting calories.  I am 160 pounds.  I am working very hard to get the rest of it off. I am doing it the healthy way this time. 

If you made it this far, I thank you for your time. I figured this would be the best way to get out my emotions and clock my progress. I wish everyone luck on their journeys… just know -  weight loss is a struggle for everyone.  You are not alone.  I have put this same puzzle together more times than I can count.